Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For thinking that our manager mishandled this?

7 replies

chatenoire · 17/10/2023 12:05

I had a chat last week with my boss and we talked about how I felt and what would make things better. She came to the conclusion that I was bored (maybe, maybe not).

Anyway, today we had a regroup with me, my colleague with the same title, and our manager.

She told my colleague that because I was "bored" we needed to shake up things.

There was a massive pushback from my colleague, to which I then explained that it was also to balance our workloads and our manager said that it was also so we were both exposed to different things.

Obviously I wasn't left with the best taste in my mouth, and think that maybe it could have been handled better? Maybe I'm overthinking it.

OP posts:
AgnesX · 17/10/2023 12:08

Most definitely not well. Telling someone that there are changes because someone else is "bored" is not going to be received well ever. I'm not surprised your colleague wasn't happy🙄

Original poster
chatenoire · 17/10/2023 12:14

Ultimately I don't think either of us were happy... It gave extra aggravation for no good reason

OP posts:
HattieIou · 17/10/2023 12:17

Yeah that was badly handled, she is unprofessional saying that.

Fionaville · 17/10/2023 12:18

The manager shouldn't have said that. There are a hundred different ways they could have said it, without putting it on you.

Original poster
chatenoire · 17/10/2023 12:19

I'm starting to ponder if I'm being managed out of my role ...

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 17/10/2023 12:20

Not ideal is it, do they perhaps lack people skills?

I'd speak to the colleague and try to smooth it over that way - eg 'can we have a quick chat about x, I felt very uncomfortable with the way x approached and rationalised these changes, this originated from a conversation I had with her about x in which I expressed I felt unhappy with x. My intention was to understand what might be done about it but she appears to have concluded differently and I apologise if it seemed these changes were prompted by me, for those reasons, when that isn't the case.

If you're both unhappy happy then I'd arrange to speak with her about how it could be made to work in a way that suits you both. Perhaps put your heads together and suggest ideas that do appeal to both of you.

Original poster
chatenoire · 17/10/2023 12:27

dontgobaconmyheart · 17/10/2023 12:20

Not ideal is it, do they perhaps lack people skills?

I'd speak to the colleague and try to smooth it over that way - eg 'can we have a quick chat about x, I felt very uncomfortable with the way x approached and rationalised these changes, this originated from a conversation I had with her about x in which I expressed I felt unhappy with x. My intention was to understand what might be done about it but she appears to have concluded differently and I apologise if it seemed these changes were prompted by me, for those reasons, when that isn't the case.

If you're both unhappy happy then I'd arrange to speak with her about how it could be made to work in a way that suits you both. Perhaps put your heads together and suggest ideas that do appeal to both of you.

I don't think it was that... But she said we were "amongst" friends.

I don't know if apologising to my colleague would blow things out of proportion as it has been and dusted with our manager.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page