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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Gap year

20 replies

sadgapyearmum · 16/10/2023 21:10

Really struggling tonight my daughter is going on her gap year on her own in the morning we have had a lot of tears already from her 😢 and a few from me

OP posts:

Confusion101 · 16/10/2023 21:12

Goodbyes are always so so tough but she will have an amazing time and a year goes by so quick! Sending hugs

Original poster

sadgapyearmum · 16/10/2023 21:14

What makes it more difficult is she is my old child and she has split up with her boyfriend to do this x

OP posts:

Confusion101 · 16/10/2023 21:19

Where is she off to? Tomorrow will be a tough day. She'll be fine once she gets through the airport, you will need to mind yourself though. Plenty of TLC tomorrow

Nothing2SpendOn · 16/10/2023 21:22

How do people fund a gap year ?

Confusion101 · 16/10/2023 21:25

@Nothing2SpendOn very helpful... You could at least add a sentence of empathy to the OP first 🙈

RunningAndSinging · 16/10/2023 21:35

How long is she going to be away? Where is she going? It will be hard but the time will pass and (hopefully) she will have an amazing experience.

Nothing2SpendOn - lots of ways - my DS is working for 7 months of his to fund his travels. Some people work abroad and earn money that way, some people are lucky and their parents can help. Some people work for their whole gap year to afford university afterwards. A gap year can mean anything.

venusandmars · 16/10/2023 21:48

@sadgapyearmum after a week of shared holiday in India we left dc on the streets of Delhi... We all wept buckets. There was a torrential monsoon which seemed appropriate.

We met up again 5 months later in Asia - which was wonderful.

It was the most amazing experince for dc. They learnt so many things - how to balance money with potential plans, who do you trust, why is family and home important. We learnt that dc was more capable, organised and responsible than we had expected.

win-win

But it was a hard separation.

TeeBee · 16/10/2023 22:17

How do people fund it?? Save up.

Original poster

sadgapyearmum · 17/10/2023 05:39

Thank you ladies for your kind replies she is visiting Thailand Cambodia Philippines Laos Vietnam them Australia. She will be away for a year. She has funded it by saving up

OP posts:

McIntire · 17/10/2023 05:47

You have given her the confidence and ability to do this @sadgapyearmum and you should be very proud of her and yourself.

It’s easy to keep in touch and she will meet other amazing people who will help her, possibly even my lovely DS 😊

I know how hard it is to say goodbye.

McIntire · 17/10/2023 05:56

Nothing2SpendOn · 16/10/2023 21:22

How do people fund a gap year ?

DS is travelling for the 3rd time.
He’s worked hard before, in-between and earned money/worked to pay for accommodation whilst travelling. If you really want to do it you will find a way.

We payed for his return flight for his 18th on his first trip. He mostly travels by coach and train now.

inapropertyquandry · 17/10/2023 18:47

@Nothing2SpendOn my son worked weekend and evening shifts through his sixth form in a supermarket (while still getting all A stars and having a girlfriend and social life). He also didn't leave til October, and was back by Easter. Gap years are rarely the whole year. To coin a cliche it isn't rocket science.

McIntire · 18/10/2023 07:56

How are you @sadgapyearmum ?
did she get off ok?

Original poster

sadgapyearmum · 18/10/2023 10:48

Thank you for thinking of me. We dropped her off at the airport but she asked for us not to come in as it would have been too upsetting. She has arrived safely and booked into the hostel. I feel numb at the moment

OP posts:

BoohooWoohoo · 18/10/2023 10:51

💐 to you both.

Be proud of raising a young woman who is brave enough to go out and have an adventure and exciting life experience.

Original poster

sadgapyearmum · 18/10/2023 14:14

Thank you lovely kind ladies now I need to get through the next year xx

OP posts:

inapropertyquandry · 18/10/2023 14:20

Well done for clearing the first hurdle. The great thing is she can be in touch any time. My DS went away on an expedition in 2016 just 2 months after being diagnosed with epilepsy and starting meds. The rules were that there was no electronic contact. I lived for the airmail letters we got from him. Literally no comms for three months apart from those. It really tested me!

Original poster

sadgapyearmum · 18/10/2023 15:15

@inapropertyquandry I cannot imagine how you managed with so little contact it must have been a testing time for you

OP posts:

inapropertyquandry · 18/10/2023 15:25

@sadgapyearmum I took the view that no news was good news; that if the meds weren't working or he'd had another seizure somehow Raleigh Internatuonal would have gotten in contact. Although I'd googled hospitals and realised he was a helicopter ride away from medical help. Stupid to have googled!
But all was well. I wasted a worry, and he came back safely, albeit 2 stone (which he didn't need to lose!) lighter and with a giant bush beard.

McIntire · 18/10/2023 16:03

sadgapyearmum · 18/10/2023 14:14

Thank you lovely kind ladies now I need to get through the next year xx

My DS is in touch virtually every day.
He sends amazing photos and updates.

Hostels are great and the people there will advise her on other great hostels and where to avoid. My DS doesn’t plan too far ahead, just goes with the flow and sometimes goes on with others for a week or two until they start to annoy him! Then makes his excuses and branches off

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