How to ask my friend to stop talking about the same thing….

[Chatterbecs]

I’m on a girls trip with one of my closest friends.

She’s an absolute delight to spend time with - very intelligent, interesting and fun.

However, she is absolutely obsessed with a man she’s been on 2 dates with and she won’t stop talking about it, and is repeating the same stories and statements about him over and over again. It’s almost bizarre. They only spent a grant total of about 8 hours together, so she’s told me the details of that same 8 hours, honestly about 100 times.

She’s a very self-aware person so it’s surprising that she doesn’t recognise that she’s doing it. It’s not in keeping with the rest of her character at all.

It’s not even that it‘s annoying. It’s just dull and I’m running out of things to say in response!

I’m looking for a polite way to ask her to stop. I’ve made lots of comments about how perhaps she should wait a few more dates and see how it goes, or that I’m happy to hear it went well but perhaps she shouldn’t keep dwelling on it too much right now.

I know some people would be blunt, but that really isn’t my personality and really not the dynamic we have.

So a more polite alternative would be great!

You can't

Can you finish the story off for her as she's telling with a 'yeah, you've said already. Mate, I get you're into him but surely we can talk about something other than a bloke?'

You can’t. Could she be Nd?

Maybe ask to talk about something different. Be honest about it if she is a close mate and it's bothering you that much

Personally if she's not like this usually, I couldn't be that bothered by it, sounds like shes excited and has potential of a new relationship which we all usually want to talk about our friends about and can get giddy about. As a friend I would just humour her and not put a downer on it for her if like I said previously this is purely a one of

Maybe she has dementia!

I think when she starts talking about him again and tells you the same story, you really do need to say “You’ve told me this loads of times already!” You don’t have to say “stop talking about him” but you can certainly laugh and say “You must have got it bad because this is the tenth time you’ve told me this!” and make a joke of it.

Bloody hell, this early in the thread? Is this a record?

I had a weekend with a friend who just talks about her children, I know their best friends and where the friends live ..I end up not replying as it's a commentary. As your friend is clearly super happy I would indulge her a little and then joke about and tease her...but also change the subject a bit just to shift the conversation. To be honest it's way better than moaning....

I would go with ‘mate you’ve told me this 5 times, change the record’ then shut it down each time eg-
Friend: Jimmy loves rugby
you: amazing, shall we have Italian for tea?
Rinse and repeat!

Well, if you won't ask her to stop, all you can do is not respond, or change the subject.

You could copy what my friend uses against me - she just says “anyway”….and changes the subject completely.

Or what I say to another computer geek friend who overloads me “my C-drive is full”

Anything said with a smile and humour should work.

I'm on holiday with someone that keeps saying the same thing over and over so we now have a deal that everytime its mentioned they have to put a euro in the fund 😅 its getting quite high right now

I have a trick that I use with a repeating relative when they're going off on something they've said at least hundred times. If a 'Yeah,you did say' doesn't work, then I'll finish the quote for them with a smile. It reminds them I know the story without me having to be too abrupt. Unless she's REALLY wound up,it catches her a bit and we can move on.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I really feel a bit sad for your friend because I know what you're saying, it's a bit much, but how sad would she be if she thought you couldn't tell her how you feel?
I think I'd ask her, so "you talk about this guy a lot, you're obviously very into him, & I hope it works out for you, is everything ok though? It's out of character for you to get this stuck on someone". Something like that, open up the conversation a bit. She'll respect you for being honest with her

"she’s told me the details of that same 8 hours, honestly about 100 times."
Next time she starts, interrupt and repeat the narrative you've heard so many times back to her, something along the lines of "and they we went to <blah>, and he said <blah> and it was so funny! but then ...." - basically just parrot her dull narrative back to her. It sounds as if she's told you often enough that it shouldn't be too difficult. Raise your eyebrows or roll your eyes whilst talking. Let her KNOW that she's told you all this before!

Just say with a smile “ Look I know this is really exciting but I really want to talk about xyz.”

Can you make a joke about it? Like "I feel like I went on this date myself, the amount I've heard about it"
Otherwise just blatantly ignore what shes just said and change the subject

I work with someone like this. She's lovely, but boy, does she go on. Not only does she tell the same stories over and over and over again, she also tells them in the most long winded way. I've taken to nodding and getting on with my work while she's wittering on. Or I just say, 'I think you told me this last week and the week before, and the one before that, and probably every week since I started working here 8 years ago!'

LTC - Leave the Conversation (had to clarify 🙈.

I am delighted for you, and I want to hear about the next date, but until then can we talk about x (I think you need some alternative subjects)

That didn't take long 😂😂

🤣🤣🤣
Didn’t take long? Did it? 😂

She's clearly suffering from 'mentionitus' , tell her this and then tell her for every mention you'll spray her in the face with water. She'll soon be cured.

TBH I have been guilty of this, I even started a thread on "relationships" (under another name) to discuss an aspect of our nonexistent relationship just so I could chat about him (which someone correctly spotted!).