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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my job over this

47 replies

Rainbowskys99 · 16/10/2023 17:11

I work in a call centre for a well known company and they deal with probate, funeral plans, wills etc. I help to set up the funeral plans for people. I’m 13 weeks pregnant which managers are aware of. One of the people I work with has recently been promoted to line manager and since then he’s being really rude and arrogant. I’m Shaming me out of loud in front of everyone for not having as many funeral plans marked on the tally board. Shouting out ‘catch up’ to me. I just find it humiliating. At the end of day we have to press something on our switch board things so no calls can come through during working hours and two times I have accidentally forgot and he said to me in front of everyone ‘I feel like punching you in the face for that’ he tried to make out he was joking. I just feel like leaving but I know I can’t due to being pregnant and I need the income but after maternity leave I won’t feel like coming back . My hormones are all over the place too. What would you do?

OP posts:
Barrowgirl · 16/10/2023 17:13

Well if I otherwise enjoyed the job and needed the maternity

I would talk to my line manager

you’d be giving up maternity leave

Original poster
Rainbowskys99 · 16/10/2023 17:15

That meant to say no calls come through outside of working hours

OP posts:
LIZS · 16/10/2023 17:15

Raise a grievance about the abuse. Stay until after ml

TheFlis · 16/10/2023 17:15

I would be going straight to HR over the punch in the face comment.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 16/10/2023 17:15

Have you passed probation?
Is there a HR department?

He won't last long in his new manager's job if he continues treating staff like that!

Got straight to HR and get it documented.

MightyFine · 16/10/2023 17:17

I'd stay till maternity pay kicks in if possible. I think you can go off on mat leave fairly early.

I'd also speak to HR about the punch you in the face comment. Even as a joke, that's pretty awful for a line manager

Azandme · 16/10/2023 17:19

Straight to HR. I'd have been there the first time he mentioned wanting to punch me in the face.

They should want to sort it, but if they seem reluctant, mention your pregnancy and say you can't help but wonder if his mistreatment of you is linked to that. They'd be utterly insane not to sort it then.

TolkiensFallow · 16/10/2023 17:22

You need to tell his line manager. Take out a grievance for bullying. His behaviour is awful.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 16/10/2023 17:31

He said he wanted to punch you in the face.
Report him straight away

jenpil · 16/10/2023 17:37

It makes me wonder why he was promoted to manager.....

Did he hide his true self? Or has the power just gone to his head?

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/10/2023 17:38

It sounds like a fair-sized company, which I would expect to have an HR department. You say this tosser has been promoted to line manager - is he YOUR line manager? If so, go over his head to his line manager and HR.

Complain, complain, complain.

Cowlover89 · 16/10/2023 17:40

Definitely report him

BuffaloCauliflower · 16/10/2023 17:40

Please talk to HR, that punching comment is an immediate grievance and it sounds like you’re being singled out and bullied too. Don’t let him get away with it, he’ll just do it to someone else next.

LakeTiticaca · 16/10/2023 17:41

He threatened you with violence
Unacceptable
Report the twat

2jacqi · 16/10/2023 17:47

actually bullying!!! dont think he will last long in his promoted position!!

Bananaman123 · 16/10/2023 17:47

If a manager said that in my office he would be suspended straight away. Report to her and his manager asap, don’t stand for it, utter twat on a power trip xx

congrats on your baby, don’t let that dickhead drag you down

DuesToTheDirt · 16/10/2023 17:53

Yes, report.

WrongSwanson · 16/10/2023 17:55

This seems very identifying information op you might want to ask Mumsnet to take it down (unless you have changed lots of the details)

(Journalists that trawl Mumsnet for stories are scum)

43ontherocksporfavor · 16/10/2023 18:09

Give him enough rope….. he won’t last! Definitely don’t leave. Has anyone else heard these comments?

SisterMichaelsHabit · 16/10/2023 18:14

Yes he made a threat to do violence to you, report to HR and ask to be moved to a different team if possible. Note the dates/times/any witnesses for any incidents and note what he did (in brief), keep it in a notebook so he can't see it on your work computer.

Don't leave at all. If you aren't in a union join Unite the Union, it's about £10 a month and will get you representation and legal advice if this goes into constructive dismissal/tribunal. Go off long term sick with stress if you have to but don't lose your job when you need the mat pay if it's above SMP. And if they "let you go" for jumped up reasons on his say-so, absolutely take this to tribunal.

LilyThePinksDealer · 16/10/2023 18:36

I'd putting it in edifying and informing HR that I want to make a formal complaint.
mid no one says anything they are feee to continue

Vocaladvocaat · 16/10/2023 18:39

No you don’t sabotage yourself because someone else is an asshole. Why do women do this? You did nothing wrong. It’s not your fault. You have a child to provide for you need the maternity pay.

”sorry coworker that’s not acceptable talk, please stop” Take notes and report.

Women need to stop internalising other people’s bad behaviour and blaming themselves.

LoobyDop · 16/10/2023 18:44

If you work for the large organisation I think you work for, ten years ago when I was a manager there, threatening a colleague with violence was gross misconduct, opening up the possibility that he could be sacked or given a final written warning. Go to HR.

AsWrittenBy · 16/10/2023 18:47

he said to me in front of everyone ‘I feel like punching you in the face for that’ he tried to make out he was joking.

Straight to HR

Thomasthe · 16/10/2023 18:55

While I agree with all of the comments about going to HR etc. it sounds as though it’s a culture issue at your workplace. Why would someone like that be promoted/tolerated in a management position? and feel confident enough to speak like that to you publicly?

I’d seriously consider applying for other positions. If you don’t feel up to that at the moment then soon after you get back from maternity leave.