To be annoyed friend has gone flakey?..

[Livelifelaughter]

Honestly, I don't know where things have gone wrong but I have a very close friend who a year ago was like a rock, totally dependable and altogether great, like a close family member. Known each other for 30 plus years.
One year on she became very involved in a Christian group. She now cancels all the time because of a church related activity which has crept up, she may or may not ask to reschedule, or she will ask me to reschedule assuming I am just available. We went for a long weekend in August and I paid the flights for her and her young daughter who came with us in June. I paid for the hotels and sent her the total cost which is just over £500 ...this was in early September. She knew the flight cost in June and didn't pay then. Now she has said she was sorry to not having paid but it's been on her to do list and she might be able to pay in a week when she has time. Honestly, if she had said, "sorry I forgot, will pay asap" I would understand but this just feels as though I am so low down in her list of priorities she can't be bothered. Money isn't the issue for her, she is comfortable. Any ideas on how to salvage this friendship, seems a pity but I don't feel valued at all.

Oh dear, it’s a tricky one - maybe worth giving her a call and trying to casually mention it?

With the money I would use an excuse of something you need to pay for soon or something like that x

Thank you.... actually we are going on another trip with friends and I have made a point of saying that I would like to pay that friend Before we go away.... it's not really about the money per se it's the actual complete casualness of thinking it's okay to leave me out of pocket for months, not because she genuinely forgot but couldn't be bothered..

It takes 30 seconds to make a bank transfer. You aren’t worth 30 seconds of her time. Really think about that.
Also, keep hold of all correspondence where she has promised to pay back this money. You may need it.

Is the church a cult-y one? Is it possible she's giving them all her money?

I don't know if you will see that money. How disappointing given your history together. Are you sure that she has the money? Send her a message and say you need the money by the weekend as you have bills that need paying and you are disappointed it has taken her so long to send it to you. You will know her true colours. I would warn the friend who is booking and paying for this next trip to make sure to get the money off her beforehand too.

I'd get the money from her and take a huge step back from this "friendship" as it's not really a genuine friendship at the minute.

No it's not a cult one, in some respects it's been really good as it has given her focus. Perhaps to the detriment of other aspects of her life.

You see that's what I think, it's a few minutes at most.

I'd just say she needs to transfer the money today, you've been waiting months and can't afford to wait any longer.

If she doesn't then I'd tell her straight she's about to loose a very good friendship.

I'd phone her and ask her to do the transfer while she's on the phone. Put her on the spot and say you need it now for x,y,z. If she says she can't ask her why not.

It’s very, very bad of her to not pay back such a significant sum. I would suggest she is no longer the friend she was and I would pursue repayment as a priority. I would be willing to lose the friendship over it, as someone who does this to you is no friend.

I would be direct and truthful about this. The issue is respect. I think you are well within your rights to call her up - speak to her directly on the telephone - don't engage in any chit chat and tell her calmly but firmly that you would very much appreciate the money in the next 24 hrs because you have waited patiently and that you are now finding her casualness about it rather disrespectful.

Once you have the money in your bank account (hopefully) you can then meet her for coffee and say that you don't appreciate all the last minute cancellations and if she wants to continue the friendship, which you would very much like to do given your history together, you need her to be more respectful of your time.

I would just go back and say sorry but I need the money now, it’s already been 3 months and will take 30 seconds to transfer

i would then stop paying for her and tell her to book direct

Tell her failing to pay debts isn't Christian.