Extra appointments and visits aren’t helpful support

30 replies

Cappuccinoa · 16/10/2023 13:37

They just add more stress and make it worse 😩

PND (diagnosed late and had a while as baby is now a toddler) , ASD, ADHD and ME.

Finally went to the dr asking for support and it’s ended up that they want me to to have appts, for the health visitor to come round, to have a homestart volunteer . Having people in my safe space dysregulates me and makes me more stressed. Having to go out more makes me more stressed.

I asked can the HV check ins be by phone as I can cope better with that.
I’d rather have some antidepressants and just appts for monitoring of that, I think I need practical support as have been feeling overwhelmed by tasks so with homestart id rather not be dragged out to groups. I’d rather have help and advice about some funded nursery hours etc rather than me having to socialise alongside dd

This ‘support’ is for NT people I think and it’s not right for me ?

OP posts:

Ellie525 · 16/10/2023 14:24

With regards Homestart I think it very much depends on the volunteer matching and definitely worth ringing them to explain your needs, as they may have someone perfect for what would help you.. When my mum was a volunteer for them, they matched her with a very young mum who really just wanted practical help not going out and about (looking after baby while she showered, tidying a bit, making her a brew and talking if and when she wanted, reassuring her she was doing great and it was always up to the mum if she saw her that week or not)

Original poster

Cappuccinoa · 16/10/2023 14:24

Redannie118 · 16/10/2023 14:22

You need to see another GP ASAP. A doctor denying you antideppressants when you have PND is horrendous. I had horrific PND and I would be dead now if it wasnt for massive doses of Prozac.

I would ring your GP surgery and ask for an urgent app with a different GP. Tell the GP you need anti deppressants and councilling for the PND and a referal to the pain clinic and some pain management options while you wait. If they refuse state you want it written in your notes that you have asked for medication to treat PND and chronic pain and have been refused with no good reason( ie allergies ect) You will need a copy of your medical records as a system access request, and you require the contact details of the practice manager to take it up with them.

Its awful you need to do this for just some basic support, im so sorry you are going through this.

I do feel like they don’t think it’s that and that it’s just my existing issues but I knew I felt different after dd and it just took me ages to realise and when I’ve finally found the courage to say it’s like it’s been dismissed

OP posts:

Macaroni46 · 16/10/2023 14:25

I think HV visits need to be in person for safeguarding reasons. If you're struggling they will want to check that the child is ok and their environment.

Armychefbethebest · 16/10/2023 14:27

My GP has a system where you can email, does your doctors have this ? That may be an easier way for you to communicate exactly what you need to get the support that works for you. We are not a one size fits all and completely sympathise and hope you start to feel better soon. I had a homeostatic volunteer as I was in Germany newly posted in ,my husband sent to Bosnia for 6 months and me with a toddler and newborn. She did try and get me out and socialising bless her but the things we did weren't my thing I was still quite young and these ladies didn't particularly like female soldiers very oppressive.

caban · 16/10/2023 14:31

Cappuccinoa · 16/10/2023 14:13

My HV told me that the homestart volunteer ‘isn’t a babysitter or a cleaner ! It’s to facilitate you getting out and about with support and having company’ she said that they have to make that clear now to everyone

Maybe your health visitor doesn't know that much about Home Start - you'd be better talking to them direct.

A volunteer isn't a babysitter or a cleaner - they can't take the kids out without you, they won't babysit while you go to an appointment or out with friends, they won't clean your house while you watch TV - but they can help with cleaning or organising alongside you, they can help with children in the house while you are napping or making phonecalls.
I'm a Home Start volunteer and have done loads of different things - sometimes helping at home, sometimes being company to the mum (one family I never even met the kids it was purely being a friend to the mum), sometimes helping with budgetting, appointments, sometimes going to groups together. I have a friend who had one family that was purely phone/text support, she only went to their house once. It's tailored to what support the family need.

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