Grown up words

[Wordsareimportant]

yesterday I told my mum I’d taught my 20 month old the words vagina and penis.
She told me it was unnecessary and she was too little to be saying that, and that we should stick to ‘noonie’ and Willy.
I disagree and think it’s important that she knows the words for her body parts and think that you’re never too young for working on it.
So what do you all think?

YANBU - teach her the words!
YABU - she’s too little

Why teach her stupid slang at all? I'm with you, OP. (Though heads up, you should probably be using vulva - the vagina is solely internal and vulva is more likely to be what she'd need to know for many years yet.)

Absolutely teach the correct terms but we waited for them to naturally crop up in conversations, usually when they asked questions, rather than taught them. People do get weird about children using the correct terms for body parts connected with sex/reproduction.

Teaching the correct terms is what I would have done too (agree with previous comment re vulva vs vagina). Does she also think your child should refer to other objects by their alternative names before she is old enough to know the dog is a dog and not a woof-woof? Some people are sensitive around genitalia but it is just another part of the body.

Yanbu but i do wonder what the correct word should be for bum- anus? I dont think people talk about their anus. I certainly don't hear little kids calling eachother anus faces the way they call eachother bum faces.

YANBU, it's important to teach them the correct words to use. You don't call an ear anything other than an ear and I don't understand why some people think teaching the words, minnie, flower, snake and bits is a better option than the correct terms.

You’re absolutely right. If your mum is uncomfortable with the proper words that’s her problem.

DD has always referred to her vulva, when needed, it took my mum a small amount of time to get used to it but she agrees it’s far better than “front bum” which was usual when we were little!

Bum refers to bum cheeks as much as bum hole I think @ToadOnTheHill?

Bum refers to buttocks rather than anus, though.

There are a lot of child abuse cases where the abuser has walked free because the child thought the vagina was called a "flower" or something similar. It is important they know the correct terms and it's weird that as a society we are SO weird about that. I couldn't imagine calling me leg a trifle or something you know?!

I like your username and I agree that words are important.

For this reason, use vulva not vagina (unless you’re talking about the part of her body which is the internal muscley part that connects her vulva to her cervix).

Term vagina for ‘all of it’ is pretty much a feminist issue since the vagina is the part that’s important to the patriarchy. So even more reason to teach all our kids (boys too) to use the correct words for female anatomy.

It reminds me of the time my baby ds dropped his toy dog and a lovely woman chased us down to return it. She said "I found your..." then said to me "Does he say doggie or woof-woof?" Ds said "I say dog!"

Do you have actual proof of this happening even once? I don't believe for one second it's happened lots of times. If a female child says my uncle touched my minnie/flower/tuppence etc etc then chances are it's either going to be to a parent or a teacher and the parents would be aware of the terms used and a teacher would immediately check what they meant. In a court/evidence situation the child could show on a picture what happened or with a doll, it could be done it all sorts of ways where anatomical names weren't required.

I used willy with mine when he was little. There's no confusion, everyone knows perfectly well what a willy is. To me penis is just a gross sounding word right up there with moist.

100% teach the proper names in a matter of fact way. I have with mine. My mum never with me and it made conversations awkward. She used to refer to it as 'down below' which made the whole thing very shameful, looking back. A couple of friends used to call it their 'Mary' which even then I thought sounded gross. Just stick to the proper names.

If a child said to me ‘my uncle touched my tuppence’ I’d have no clue what they were talking about and I’d have to ask them to show me where their tuppence is.

There really are plenty of cases/situations where these things have happened. Google is your friend here

A paedophile is Sweden was let go because the judge mistook what the child meant when she used a pet name for her body parts.

A social worker has said the following "In her post, Zoe says: "One day, a little girl told her teacher “my uncle licked my cookie” the teacher thought nothing of it and said “next time ask for another cookie”. Months go by, and the mother of the child was talking to the teacher about a rash on the child’s “cookie” and that’s when the teacher realized what the child was trying to say."

I'm know there's a lot more examples but I'd rather not delve into child abuse stories. You're welcome to look it up yourself though.

If you're going to teach her anything, at least get it right. The visible areas are penis/testicles/vulva. The vagina is internal.

YANBU it’s best for her to know the proper anatomy no matter the age so there’s no confusion, and, on top of that, they are the correct words. (Well that being Penis and Vulva)

saying that, We’ve always said willy in my house but DS knows the proper words too, it just is more casual to say than penis/vulva/anus

We've always used vulva and penis. Hate words like Minnie or flower. Just gross

The cookie one and most of the stories are urban myths.

The NSPCC advocate the understanding of private parts (PANTS). So it's up to families what they use. No children are being abused because they don't know the word vulva. SS/teachers, if they are doing their jobs properly don't dismiss so easily and no sexually abused child breezily says the statements always used.

There is a deeper issue here, but I don't know what it is. My DCs have always been told the correct name. But I have often wondered why boys have a universal word in this country, for their penis 'willy.' It is accepted as the less formal word, that everybody recognises. Girls don't seem to have this. It's either the correct name or a hundred different silly ones.
Growing up in my family, 'willy' was the word we all used (brothers, sisters and parents) But the girls didn't have a word. We'd say ' our down below' which is pretty awful, thinking about it.
I wonder why this is? It must have added to lots of girls who felt their bodies were something to be ashamed of. I'm rambling, but it makes you think.

I agree it is rather strange and I’ve thought about this too. Usually female pet/casual names is just ‘front bottom’ or ‘down below’. I have personally used ‘willy’ for males when in a casual conversation because it’s lighthearted. Other words like ‘cck’ ‘dck’ are too aggressive sounding I think and ‘penis’ whilst correct and is fine can sound scientific. As for bringing up my son I use willy for males and ‘pinny’ for female

@Fionaville - I agree with you and I highly recommend this book to you to answer some of things you’re questioning in your post:

Fruit of Knowledge: Liv Strömquist
https://amzn.eu/d/fdAhpt9

It's about clear language in the event of abuse.

There's no confusing bum with anything.

There's absolutely no misunderstanding "Sam touched my bum".

If a child says "Sam touched my vulva" you know exactly what has happened.

But if a kids favourite cuddly toy was called Noo Noo. And they disclosed "Sam touched my Noo Noo" you might think they were talking about a cuddly toy. Or their genitals. There's room for mistakes.

Yes. Everyone knows what a willy is.

Bit a floof? Or a Noo noo, petal, flower, minnie? . could be a toy, vulva or pet...