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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think work broke their duty of care?

33 replies

maxystar · 15/10/2023 19:39

Very short version. I had to do an appeal at work regarding my rating and I included that the job and my manager had made me feel severely depressed to the point of suicidal.

Manager had a secondment at that point and didn’t get involved. The head of my department read the appeal too and never addressed it with me. Manager is now back and nothing has been said or addressed.

Mental health is promoted so heavily in the business, yet they’ve done nothing.

OP posts:
Fallenangelofthenorth · 15/10/2023 20:51

Doingmybest12 · 15/10/2023 20:36

I'm a bit depressed that managers on here don't think staff emotional well being is something they should promote or have a role in protecting.

I understand what you're saying but this is a "top down" issue. I genuinely didn't know this and held my hands up to it. But it's something that would also have benefitted me if I'd known this was considered part of health and safety.

I've never ever known a health and safety assessment to include "stress" in any place I've worked. I can see why it should, but I just did not know it should have been included. A lot of us work for SMEs where we're just probably muddling through to a large extent, doing our "day job" at the same time as managing others with little to no specific management training.

That doesn't mean most managers don't care about their teams emotional wellbeing though. More that there's perhaps a lack of awareness about a duty in preventing stress in the first place.

AngelAurora · 15/10/2023 20:59

It's not in your work to sort your mental state out, that's on you. Stop looking to pass on the blame, and take responsibility for yourself. Health and Safety is paramount in the work place, they cannot keep everyone happy all the time. Go speak to a Gp and get signed off until you are feeling better.

maxystar · 15/10/2023 21:58

Sirzy · 15/10/2023 20:20

Was your employer aware of your diagnosis before your review or did you only tell them when you didn’t like the outcome?

Well you seem lovely and as hard as your post was to interpret I somehow managed to get that you’re accusing me of using mental health as a convenient excuse.

And no I brought it up to my manager 2/3 months before.

OP posts:
maxystar · 15/10/2023 21:59

AngelAurora · 15/10/2023 20:59

It's not in your work to sort your mental state out, that's on you. Stop looking to pass on the blame, and take responsibility for yourself. Health and Safety is paramount in the work place, they cannot keep everyone happy all the time. Go speak to a Gp and get signed off until you are feeling better.

I sincerely hope you don’t manage a single person because that thought is scary.

OP posts:
maxystar · 15/10/2023 22:05

WhateverMate · 15/10/2023 20:32

This sounds dodgy as hell.

Why did you accept it?

Because there was a lot of pressure put on me by another manager that it would be a very bad idea for me to appeal as it would be questioning decisions made by the head of department. And it made me believe that they would punish me and make my job even more difficult.

The change in rating meant I wouldn’t have to go on a performance plan which would manage me out of the job. So it relieved some pressure for me.

OP posts:
Grumplechops · 15/10/2023 22:47

By change in rating, do you mean your job was downgraded to a lower grade?

kopitiamgal · 15/10/2023 22:48

Legaleagleplease · 15/10/2023 20:46

On my previous post I was trying to be brief but obviously, to me at least, I want to create an inclusive environment that supports the team. If anyone was in distress I would do whatever was in my power to help the situation.
I am aware of psychological safety, however one needs to tread carefully trying to please people in case they get upset. You come to work, do a job and get paid. Management are not totally responsible for your personal happiness.

Why do you think this is about OP's 'personal happiness'?
Of course a line has to be drawn somewhere - if someone comes in saying they have mental health issues due to personal situation it's not really the employers responsibility but in this case I thought the stress was clearly being caused by the work environment/

@Fallenangelofthenorth I have no idea how you'd do a HSE assessment for stress. 'Are you overworking your staff? Bullying them? Creating a toxic working environment' of course nobody is going to answer yes to these questions.

Crinkle77 · 15/10/2023 22:52

Legaleagleplease · 15/10/2023 20:06

As a boss I think my duty is to provide physical safety, wages, a job to come to and not necessarily the mental or emotional state of my staff.
Who knows what mental fragility an individual may have based on previous trauma or low resilience?

Wow I'm glad you're not my manager.

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