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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is entirely deranged?

128 replies

annoyedatotherparents · 15/10/2023 16:57

I’ve just had a big birthday, and hired a room in central London for a party. I booked a photo booth and thought I’d get a glitter backdrop for behind it as well. The first company didn’t do them so I found another one on Instagram that provides them, and booked it all months ago.
The woman in charge of the glitter wall company seemed fine, if slightly incompetent (lots of emails to me and the venue asking obvious questions) but all was ok until the day before the party when she says she’s unable to contact anyone at the venue and starts sending frantic emails again. I loop her in again, and she seems to have sorted it.
Then it’s the day of the party, and three hours before it starts she begins texting me again to say she’s too stressed about this all (ie lack of contact from venue) to come out now and wants to cancel the whole booking. I point out that’s not great to leave me with no notice, and she says her mental health has been triggered by this extremely stressful situation.
She’s now ignoring my messages asking for my money back. What on earth can I do? But also, surely proving glittery wall backdrops is literally the least stressful job ever?! How does she cope with everyday life?!

OP posts:
NotFastButFurious · 15/10/2023 18:25

£250 for a glittery back drop to pin behind a photo booth?!? You’d have been scammed even if she’d turned up with it!

NoMor · 15/10/2023 18:40

Email her telling to refund your money within 28 days or you will take her to the small claims court. If she ignores you take all the small claims steps. I've done it and got a refund, all my costs back and compensation.

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 15/10/2023 18:40

I would take her to small claims court if she doesn't refund you promptly. She can use her glitter backdrop elsewhere; but she didn't provide it for your party as agreed.

Lorieandrews · 15/10/2023 18:40

annoyedatotherparents · 15/10/2023 17:06

Didn’t pay on credit card sadly! Thank you, I’ll email formally tomorrow.

Give her a letter before action. It will help if you take her to small claims

you can find templates online OP

woofwoofandwoof · 15/10/2023 18:44

I'm not entirely sure what a glitter wall for behind a photobooth is - I would have thought a photobooth added its own backgrounds.

But assuming it was some kind of glittering wall covering, you can buy stuff like this on the web - there are loads on Amazon and Etsy for far less than £250....

https://www.gingerray.co.uk/champagne-gold-sequin-hanging-backdrop-decoration

PurpleChrayne · 15/10/2023 18:52

£250 for a glitter background? She saw you coming a mile off!

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 15/10/2023 18:56

I think you the crazy one paying that amount of money for a backdrop.

Honeychickpea · 15/10/2023 19:04

CesareBorgia · 15/10/2023 17:37

There's doubtless liability insurance the provider has to pay, as well as the cost of transporting the wall to and from the the venue. £250 probably isn't unreasonable.

And suckers around every corner 😂

Riverlee · 15/10/2023 19:07

If you paid by debit card, you can claim by chargeback. Not sure the procedure on credit card.

BalloonieBalloonie · 15/10/2023 19:15

I run an events business & hire the walls out. They are not handmade, they are usually 30cm squares of sequins pre bought that are put together on to a frame. It can be time consuming to set them up if you aren’t doing them regularly or don’t have them mounted but I wouldn’t say stressful.
Events can be stressful but just setting up a backdrop really isn’t. You arrange a time & place to deliver to, add a time buffer, set up & then leave. If the person is doing this as a sideline/weekend business then they may have had an issue with collecting on a Monday but it’s either that or they have double booked.
Payment in advance is normal in this business as we purchase/personalise items for specific events, we also don’t always see the customer when setting up/taking down.

XiCi · 15/10/2023 19:18

How did you pay OP? If you paid by debit card you can raise a chargeback via your bank for service not received and you will get a refund. If it was Faster payment you will have no protection and are looking at small claims court to get your money back.

AnSolas · 15/10/2023 19:20

annoyedatotherparents · 15/10/2023 17:13

I will definitely leave a fair review! But I just don’t know where to start with explaining how mad she is!

Dont make any public comment
Hope she is not on MN🤷‍♀️

and just go with sorry it was too much for you when will you be sending my £250 back

Changingplace · 15/10/2023 19:20

Mstxxx · 15/10/2023 18:17

@Fireisland To be fair the time and cost (if she made it herself) would have been a lot. If by 'glitter wall', it's actually a sequin wall - I made one once and it was traumatizing 😂

It took me nearly a week to make, I started at 8am and didn't finish until 1am most nights. The cost of the wall and 1000s of sequins and hand pinning each one and the cost of the structure was over £1000. I was delirious.

Edited

I work in events and I don’t think most hired glitter walls are made bespoke, unless it’s a personalised one with a name/image - if it’s a standard colour you can hire them from stock and they’re reused as they are.

(I appreciate the one you made sounds intense!!)

JudgeJ · 15/10/2023 19:21

annoyedatotherparents · 15/10/2023 17:15

@CesareBorgia that would make more sense. But I don’t know why she wouldn’t just have said she was ill or something harder to dispute? The great detail on how triggering she found the emails is just so weird!

She's clearly using alleged mental health issues as an excuse for her incompetence and she won't be the first to do that. Make sure that her name and poor/lack of performance is advertised all over social media, others shouldn't be conned by her.

Firsttimemum120 · 15/10/2023 19:21

Can’t you do a charge back through your bank ring then and explain and they’ll pull the money back.

Smartiepants79 · 15/10/2023 19:24

£250 for a glitter wall!! I’m in the wrong job. I’d could make you one for less than £40! And that’s being generous.
Hope you get some money back.

JudgeJ · 15/10/2023 19:25

ThereIbledit · 15/10/2023 17:15

I would absoutely contact your bank and see if they will do a chargeback.

Banks, ie we the customers, shouldn't be free insurance against con artists! I know that we can be made to pay back but we shouldn't have to, a ridiculous rule when we are in no way guilty.

JudgeJ · 15/10/2023 19:28

PuppyMonkey · 15/10/2023 17:33

I’m not sure I quite get what providing a “glitter wall” would entail. But.. it costs £250?? Shock

I too can't understand what a 'glitter wall' is about, sounds like a great Friday afternoon activity for an infant class!

GoonieGang · 15/10/2023 19:29

I think you may have to take her to small claims court or at least threaten it. She won’t be happy and she will probably tell you you’re making her health worse but I don’t think texting her will help as she may say you’re harassing her. Go straight for court (if you want obvs) so it’s official and you aren’t going to get accusations back.
Really do hope you don’t have to do this and she refunds 🤞

Vocaladvocaat · 15/10/2023 19:31

Sounds like a scam. Always get a physical address, full name etc. fwiw you can photoshop backgrounds in quite easily and you can hire someone on fiver to do this for you for a tenner or so.

Honeychickpea · 15/10/2023 19:35

JudgeJ · 15/10/2023 19:28

I too can't understand what a 'glitter wall' is about, sounds like a great Friday afternoon activity for an infant class!

As indeed i would suspect the intended audience to be.

Dedsec2023 · 15/10/2023 19:40

annoyedatotherparents · 15/10/2023 18:22

Most of the questions were logistical- when could she arrive, when could she leave, parking etc. She was not impressed when they said the party would be over at 1am and she could come then to collect, or on Monday, but not today as it’s shut. She said 1am was far too late and she wanted to be able to get it the following morning as she didn’t trust them not to damage it. Also very weird as working in events usually does involve late nights….

sounds like it was not to there terms and bailed

Twazique · 15/10/2023 19:47

I think she needed it for the following day so let you down rather than the person who booked the next day.

novalia89 · 15/10/2023 19:48

annoyedatotherparents · 15/10/2023 16:57

I’ve just had a big birthday, and hired a room in central London for a party. I booked a photo booth and thought I’d get a glitter backdrop for behind it as well. The first company didn’t do them so I found another one on Instagram that provides them, and booked it all months ago.
The woman in charge of the glitter wall company seemed fine, if slightly incompetent (lots of emails to me and the venue asking obvious questions) but all was ok until the day before the party when she says she’s unable to contact anyone at the venue and starts sending frantic emails again. I loop her in again, and she seems to have sorted it.
Then it’s the day of the party, and three hours before it starts she begins texting me again to say she’s too stressed about this all (ie lack of contact from venue) to come out now and wants to cancel the whole booking. I point out that’s not great to leave me with no notice, and she says her mental health has been triggered by this extremely stressful situation.
She’s now ignoring my messages asking for my money back. What on earth can I do? But also, surely proving glittery wall backdrops is literally the least stressful job ever?! How does she cope with everyday life?!

‘She’s now ignoring my messages asking for my money back.’

What do you mean by this? Why is she asking for your money?

I agree £250 for a glittery backdrop is scandalous, but that’s another story.

Liquorish · 15/10/2023 19:50

@novalia89 she’s not asking for OPs money. She already has it. She’s ignoring OPs request for her money back.

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