Toddler and teeth brushing

[jollyhols]

Dd 18 months refuses to let me brush her teeth. Clamps her mouth shut and just won't have it at all. I've tried making a game out of it, demonstrating on myself, sneaking the brush in while she's laughing and much more, but it's hopeless.

The best we can manage is her doing it herself but there isn't a lot of brushing going on, she just sort of chews the end of the brush.

Im concerned as she has a mouthful of teeth now but is still too young to understand that she needs to look after them.

We tend to do teeth brushing in the bath to minimise mess so maybe I ought to change the routine a bit? She just gets so worked up.

Any tips? Is it really bad that she's not brushing properly at this age?

Just keep persevering. Try getting her to roar like a dragon, growl like a tiger etc?

Bribery if necessary! Distraction with iPad song if needed.

But, just keep doing something twice a day every day and it will get better.

I made up a little song. Brush brush brush your teeth to the tune of row row row boat. I bought her a light up electric toothbrush similar to her big sister so she wants to copy. Stick to a routine, same routine twice a day and tell her that it's about to happen and just keep going until she gets used to it.

It has to be done and she will get used to it.

Teeth brushing is a non-negotiable. Pandering to tantrums, bribery and pleading are just giving them attention, which toddlers obviously want.

If the flashy toothbrish doesn't work, wrap them in a towel to keep their arms down and brush when they scream. They'll soon realise that its easier to just get on with it. Works with non-negotiable medicine as well.

There was a thread on this a few months ago in Parenting where it belongs

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/4815178-toddler-doesnt-allow-me-to-brush-his-teeth

Another vote for holding child and brushing their teeth even if refusing. One of my friends let her child "brush" her own teeth at that age as she was refusing to let her parents brush her teeth, ended up with some cavities. 😬

Non negotiable in our house and done with gentle force if needed.

I'm not sure how it can be done gently when her jaws are clamped shut but I get your point, going to have to be a bit tougher. I was hoping as she grows and can understand why it's necessary she might be a bit easier to reason with. At this stage she doesn't understand.

Apologies also to the thread police but there is more traffic here. I guess I'll reword it...aibu for letting my child chomp a toothbrush 🙈

Non negotiable here too, but we had similar upset with eldest at a slightly younger age. We swapped to the toothbrush they chew for a little bit, still twice a day, to break the association a bit. Then a trip to the shop to pick a new toothbrush and it was a bit easier.

https://www.jojomamanbebe.com/ie/en/style/ST519132/535985?gclsrc=ds#535985

Not everyone would be comfortable with that though so it's up to you. She's 5 now and her teeth are fine.

By keeping calm and wriggling the toothbrush in gently but not stabbing it into their mouth.
By holding them down to limit movement but not using cable ties.
By talking to them about what you're going to do to prepare them and seeing it through.

Initially, it only has to be a show of it being non-negotiable not the quality of the brushing. that will come with time.

My eldest brushed his teeth no problem. My youngest hates it. We have tried various things and all work for a little while (she has just turned 2). We sing a song while doing it, I ask her to make animal noises then brush when mouth is open, we have 2 brushes so she can hold and brush (chew) with one and one I can use to actually brush properly. At the moment she likes to tell me what she ate for breakfast or dinner and I brush each food away individually...."oh you have weetabix, let's get that weetabix off your teeth", followed by a few quick brushes. By time she has told me about having milk and some fruit, toast etc I can usually get her full mouth brushed. There have been times that I've had to hold her down and do it. In the mornings she likes climbing up to sit on the toilet seat to get them brushed and she has recently discovered how to spit so that's a bit of a motivator too cause I only let her spit after doing her teeth.

That'll work for lots of children but not all. I'm sure OP has tried being gentle and talking her child through what's happening.

DD was like this and it was very frustrating.
There's quite a few teeth brushing kids songs on YouTube that DD liked, I also used to brush my teeth and she then wanted to copy.
She's just over 2 now and likes to brush her own, she's not great at it but she starts off and then she lets me or DH brush them after she's done.
I found that wrestling her to have them brushed made her worse and she wouldn't want them done at all. You don't need to scare them into it, I personally don't think that's a good idea. My mum did that with me and I hated brushing my teeth.
It's about giving it positive associations rather than negative ones.

You'll find something that works for you!

I used to have to physically wrestle DS. When I was pregnant with DD, I couldn't do it as I was wiped out in bed with hyperemesis gravidarum for months. DH didn't have the wherewithal for the fight and as he was basically solely in charge of DS he gave him loads of cake bars, biscuits etc for an easy life.

It only took a few months of no teeth brushing and lots of sugary snacks before DS's teeth had started turning brown. I was concerned from the get-go but the first dentist we saw said it was discolouration. Obviously I started brushing his teeth again as soon as I could, but the damage had been done.

It took a year and a different dentist for anyone to take this seriously, by which point the NHS said he needed most of teeth out and it cost us thousands of pounds and multiple trips to London to save his teeth privately. All because DH was too floppy to make the child brush his teeth.

Please take this as a cautionary tale and keep fighting the good fight. It doesn't take much for the decay to set in. I'd also recommend (if you haven't already) cutting out every last little bit of sugar until this is resolved. We don't even buy normal yoghurts, just sugar free ones now.

Find a jolly toothbrush timer?

If the bribery works to get past this stage without causing traumatic memories of being restrained and forcibly brushed... then I'd do whatever works.

It won't need to be forever, maybe a few days of "when mum brushes your teeth, you'll get X" and then taper it off, should be sorted to the point of compliance within a week

my niece was the same and ended up having to have a filling at 4 which was extremely traumatic for everyone

My sister (who is an excellent parent) now wishes she’d made it a non negotiable and gone in with ‘gentle force’ not saying this will be the case for your LO at all but worth thinking through the consequence of each option

Cut sugar out of diet

Both my kids had short periods of teeth brushing refusal. It is one of the few non negotiables in this house so they were offered the chance to let me do it, otherwise they were wrapped in a towel over my knee and I'd brush as they screamed. The phase passed quickly with both of them once they realised it was easier to just let me do it.

Something that really helped us which hasn't been suggested yet is getting her too brush the teeth of a toy while you brush her teeth. Really helped my son.

We used to sing to DS, 20 months - "this is the way you brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth..." but now we've had to go on to something else as that's worn off! Someone may have already suggested as it's what was suggested to me and seems to work well with many toddlers- search for Hey Duggee Toothbrush song on YouTube. Our LB is letting us brush again as he watches it.. for now! After we've brushed we always let him to some brushing himself at the end too.

The Hey Duggee toothbrushing song on YouTube distracts DS enough for us to do a bit of brushing and encourages him to try himself beyond just chewing the brush. He is a little bit older though, and really even just chewing the brush is better than nothing! I doubt there are many 18mo out there meekly opening their mouth and tolerating a proper toothbrushing session, but they all get there in the end.

I had the same problem with my kids. They hated brushing their teeth, so I came up with a story about a boy who wouldn't brush his teeth until he met a pirate called Black Tooth Bob and that once he saw the pirate's teeth and the smell from his breath, he started brushing. Anyway, it worked. They loved the story, and it took their mind off the brushing. So successful was it that beginning of November (2023) I will publish the book on Amazon. It's a rhyming picture book called "Toothbrush Tantrum" by Mark Powell. Look it up when it comes out. It may help with getting them to brush their teeth. 😃

So my DH goes for the pin down 90 seconds lots of screaming and it's done method.

I go for the hey dugee toothbrush song and let her lead brushing and leave lots of time /have lots of patience.

I get her up by the sink and let her play with the water using small cups while I help her brush sometimes she goes along with it more than others.

We also use punch and Judy toothpaste. She lovessss the taste

Not helpful now, but for anyone else: start when they are only a couple of months old, with a very soft toothbrush, no toothpaste and loads of cuddles. They get so used to it that it just becomes part of the routine.

We had this. DH I corporates a tickle brush. So make Ds laugh and DH scrubs..

I just lead by example and brush my teeth and ask Ds if he can too. He's definitely getting better.

Also he hates the minty one so I swapped for strawberry. And another fruit one. But you need to buy the correct brands to make sure there's fluoride in.