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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put heating on?

64 replies

lockdownbabyx · 15/10/2023 09:48

So for context, I live in a 3 story townhouse and our living room (where we spend most of our time) is on the second floor and directly above the garage. Therefore it's always the coldest room, with hard flooring aswell so feels even colder.
Now I can deal with the cold just by wrapping up etc but I have a 2 year old and an 9 month old who spend most of there time playing on the living room floor. I worry that it's not warm enough for them.
We have a large rug and also a large playmat on the floor for them. But their hands and faces still feel cold.
It's currently 16c and I'm dying to put the heating on 🥶

OP posts:
Original poster
lockdownbabyx · 15/10/2023 10:11

Testina · 15/10/2023 10:08

@lockdownbabyx no need to be rude to that poster, you’re the one that didn’t explain your OP.
You might have been asking AIBU because “finances” (in which case, no-one can answer that) or:

  • Environmental concerns
  • fear of an abusive partner being angry
  • feeling you had to abide by a childhood rule of “only below 12°” or “only after Bonfire Night”
  • confusion whether we’ve lost sight of what’s an acceptable level of cold and actually are the kids fine
  • etc

This time of year, MN fills up with vague posts about heating and @MardiLisa is right that there is a tiresome amount of competitive shivering about them!

She shouldn't click on my thread then if she is tired of seeing them. Simple really.

OP posts:
VisionsOfSplendour · 15/10/2023 10:12

lockdownbabyx · 15/10/2023 10:04

@MardiLisa. Finances. Mardilisa is a suitable name for you

Show quote history

How is asking in here going to make it any more affordable?

Desecratedcoconut · 15/10/2023 10:15

So, what's the plan op? It's only October and your home is 16c, and you have two small children who need to be kept warm.

Is it that you are worried that the credit you have amassed over the year won't stretch through the winter if you put the heating on now or is it that you won't be able to pay this months bill if you put it on now? Or is it a vague sense of being spendthrifty against the general rising cost of things?

Testina · 15/10/2023 10:15

“She shouldn't click on my thread then if she is tired of seeing them. Simple really.”

Not any less rude.
You seem like someone who would be good at burning bridges - that might be a way to keep warm? 😉

PersephonePomegranate23 · 15/10/2023 10:20

I am aware but I doubt it is the choosing between food and heat kind of poverty.

But who are you to decide that? Are you going through the OP's bank statements?

No idea why there's a pile on here? Who's to say what someone else's finances are because they live in a town house?

Maybe the number of posts about heating is more reflective of the state of things at the moment, rather than 'competitive shivering'. Be annoyed about that, not the people posting about it! Sometimes when things are a bit shit (and I'd class feeling guilty about letting the heating on when you're feeling cold pretty shit) people want to get it off their chest.

Enjoy your competitive chastising.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 15/10/2023 10:20

lockdownbabyx · 15/10/2023 10:06

@ginandtonicwithlimes why can I afford it just because I live in a townhouse?

Show quote history

Most poor people aren't in those sort of houses. So are you just going to not put your heating on? You don't have a choice. My house has been steadily getting colder. Yesterday at 15c even my husband who is a furnace just put it on. Maybe you could leave it off if there were only adults but two young children including a baby you have no choice. In the next month or so your house will be utterly freezing. Just put it on and if you can't afford it agree a deal with the energy companies.

margotrose · 15/10/2023 10:21

Of course it's not unreasonable to put the heating on when it's cold.

DinnaeFashYersel · 15/10/2023 10:23

But their hands and faces still feel cold.

Put the heating on

User5646382910 · 15/10/2023 10:24

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/10/2023 09:51

Crikey these are terrible times we live in when people can’t put the heating on 😢

It nothing new though. The house I grew up in had a fireplace in almost every room. Only the sitting room fire was ever lit because coal was so expensive.

We weren’t poor.

Original poster
lockdownbabyx · 15/10/2023 10:28

@ginandtonicwithlimes I never said I was poor. Doesn't mean we aren't struggling with money. I'm on maternity leave which pays pennies, our rent has just increased by 25%. Those are only 2 reasons out of many reasons we are struggling. Like the majority of the country, we are feeling the pinch. Of course I'm not going to let my children go cold and will put the heating on. My post was just getting an idea when others put theirs on, general curiosity. Isn't that was these forums are for?

Believe me, I wish I was one of those people who didn't have to think about it and was able to just put the heating on with worrying about burning money.

OP posts:
ginandtonicwithlimes · 15/10/2023 10:31

lockdownbabyx · 15/10/2023 10:28

@ginandtonicwithlimes I never said I was poor. Doesn't mean we aren't struggling with money. I'm on maternity leave which pays pennies, our rent has just increased by 25%. Those are only 2 reasons out of many reasons we are struggling. Like the majority of the country, we are feeling the pinch. Of course I'm not going to let my children go cold and will put the heating on. My post was just getting an idea when others put theirs on, general curiosity. Isn't that was these forums are for?

Believe me, I wish I was one of those people who didn't have to think about it and was able to just put the heating on with worrying about burning money.

Okay. Now is the time to put it on. I was going to wait until beginning of November but no chance. Cold fingers don't nessarily mean your child is cold. If you can afford it fleece onesies/baby grows are good for the kids. Lots of layers are best.

gingeristhenewblack43 · 15/10/2023 10:33

I live in a deprived area. A lot of the council housing is 3 storey townhouses. Renting a town house does not equate with being financially well off.

Vriddle · 15/10/2023 10:33

There's some great advice out there to save money but still stay warm.

Ie, Heat that front room if it's the problem and switch off the other radiators.

Is the room/house double glazed? You can do DIY to exclude heat loss, if not.

WellIdontknowwhattocallmyself · 15/10/2023 10:34

I was pressing the thermostat for it to be on more often and then my bill doubled so I’m just gonna stop that and leave it to come on in the mornings and at bedtime. I’m frozen though and feel so tired from it i don’t know what the solution is

Desecratedcoconut · 15/10/2023 10:34

User5646382910 · 15/10/2023 10:24

It nothing new though. The house I grew up in had a fireplace in almost every room. Only the sitting room fire was ever lit because coal was so expensive.

We weren’t poor.

Show quote history

7.4million homes now meet the old school definition of fuel poverty - so 10% of their income spent on fuel.

That's two million more homes than the year before, and almost a third of homes

So yes, fuel poverty has always been a thing but to gloss over the recent decline in people living comfortably isn't helpful.

Edited because my numbers were completely wrong the start with 😬

Dweetfidilove · 15/10/2023 10:40

OP, I’ve been holding out too and have been managing pretty well without needing it.

My teenager asked on Thursday and I said not yet, but the cold I woke up to this morning means it will go on when we get back indoors.

If you have a dehumidifier that may also work. Turned mine in to dry some clothes last week and it warmed the room so well (something else MN reminded me of, after about 8 years of having it buried in a cupboard).

cocksstrideintheevening · 15/10/2023 10:40

If you're cold out the heating on.

Graciebobcat · 15/10/2023 10:41

Ours is now "on", at certain times of day, but hasn't come on much yet with the thermostat at 19.

cocksstrideintheevening · 15/10/2023 10:43

@Desecratedcoconut your numbers don't work.

Testina · 15/10/2023 10:44

“Of course I'm not going to let my children go cold and will put the heating on. My post was just getting an idea when others put theirs on, general curiosity. Isn't that was these forums are for? “

I don’t run MN so it’s only my opinion, but no - I don’t think AIBU is for general curiosity about when people put the hearing on - I’d use Chat.
You say of course you’re going to put the heating on - but that’s not what your OP said.
That’s why you haven’t gone the general curiosity answers you wanted - because your post want clear.
Seriously, don’t underestimate the number of threads on here with people asking other people to make basic decisions for them! Hence the type of answers you did get.

You’re putting your heating on - great.
I hope your finances are better after mat leave.
To answer your curiosity - I will hold out much longer, as I can’t afford not to.

Desecratedcoconut · 15/10/2023 10:45

😅 right? Here, have some proper information rather than my scrambled ramblings 😁

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/feb/28/pressure-jeremy-hunt-as-2m-more-households-fall-into-fuel-poverty

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 15/10/2023 10:47

It’s 10 degrees outside here going by the weather app, and raining - ours is on. We live in an old granite property which takes a while to warm up so it’s better to have it on low for longer periods than blast it for a short time if we’re at home. We have good credit built up from summer (and are very fortunate to be able to afford it anyway). I hate being cold.

Ginmonkeyagain · 15/10/2023 10:47

It feels a lot colder as the temperature has dropped very suddenly. Last weekend in London it was 25 degrees, today it is 10.

I tend to run hot so I am ok sitting here in jeans and a sweatshirt with bare feet and the window open (no heating on). However it is not unreasonable to feel the cold a fair bit at the moment. It will get better as you adjust.

helloisitmeyourelookingfor · 15/10/2023 10:47

I don't get all the angst about putting the heating on

Is it your house?
Are you responsible for paying the bills?
Do YOU want it on?

So put it on

Doesn't matter what everyone else is doing

DinoMummsy · 15/10/2023 10:51

If you can afford to, definitely put the heating on for a bit, esp first thing in morning. Freezing here this morning, was down to 3c during the night 🥶

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