People with cold holding baby

[123Mumto1]

DH and I are staying with my inlaws for the weekend along with our DS (3m). Last night we went out for a family meal which included my BIL and his family.

Once we were back at the house, I was sat next to my SIL, who I quickly realised was full of a cold. I politely said I hope you don't mind, but I will move seat as I don't want my DS to get ill.

I didn't realise my DH had already passed our son to SIL for a hold earlier, not realising she was ill.

I think it's really irresponsible to hold someone else's child whilst you have a cold. I know risk of RSV is small, but it can be fatal to babies. Even a little cold to a baby is awful as they struggle to breathe. It is inevitable that DS will catch a cold at some point, but putting him in the arms of someone with the virus is careless.

When my DS entered the world, he was blue and not breathing. He required oxygen and spent a night in NICU.

AIBU to be annoyed at my SIL for holding him? To be clear, I haven't confronted her, just quietly pissed off about it.

Yanbu. Unfortunately people are thoughtless. The risk is small to most babies, but you're right to be live to it especially as we go into the winter. My daughter did get RSV and was admitted to hospital when she was a few months old.

My DS was bunged up with a cold at 3 months old. He couldnt feed properly as he couldn’t suck and breath. I wasn’t allowed to give him any medication, no vick or vapour relief to unblock him. It was frightening as he was so small.

YANBU OP

Yanbu but probably better to speak to your husband so you're both on the same page about this. Perhaps he didn't realise SIL had a cold but if he did and let her hold the baby anyway then you both need to be consistent on your boundaries.

DH is in agreement, he feels terrible as didn't realise she had a cold.

Yanbu and the reason I’m getting fed up of people saying‘Covid is just like a cold/flu and no big deal’. People should watch out for other people when they have other illnesses that can be spread full stop, so say ‘sorry I don’t want to stand too near in case you get this’ etc. I used to be raging when people would come to visit at Christmas and start coughing and sneezing and not even move to wash hands, turn away etc!

Yep. Your SIL was thoughtless and selfish. Everyone loves new baby cuddles but should know it is not fair to risk passing on a cold/virus to such a young baby.

Yabu. How bad is the cold is DH didn't realise SIL was unwell? Blame the husband. Don't go out in Flu season - because it's flu season for a reason. When you become a parent, grow up, and decide what risks you'll accept for your child - and make sure husband is on board with every single decision. Do not expect the entire world to have their every action guided by your terms of "Oh but my baby was blue at birth!" Your blue baby. You take responsibility for any precautions. Don't expect the world to stop and second-guess your every anxiety. Bet DS was completely okay, right?