To ask you to give me ideas to pass the time whilst DS has surgery.

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

DS (12) is having a major operation on Tuesday. I am going into hospital with him for 7am. We don’t know exactly when he will go to theatre. The operation is about 5 hours. I will stay in children’s theatres while he is in surgery. I shall not be able to concentrate to read I don’t think. I do not knit or sew. I have air pods so can listen to podcasts and I have a iphone and iPad. I do not usually play games on my phone but could if one was distracting enough. Any ideas of things I could download, or take with me to occupy my mind? I love classical music but find it quite emotional to listen to at times. I am hoping to be soothed and distracted. Listening to podcasts might be good. Usually I listen to political things or current affairs. But those would not be at all soothing. Many thanks.

Do you ever listen to audio books? My family is going through some challenging things health-wise atm and I have found listening to a gripping novel a helpful distraction. Podcasts are somehow too real (and too depressing, at least the ones I follow!).

I hope the operation goes well.

I’ve been listening to Clinton Baptiste‘s Paranomal Podcast. There are 6 seasons and you should start at the beginning. It’s very funny and not at all requiring concentration. If you are easily offended by occasional swearing don’t but otherwise I recommend it.

I wish you lots of strength for the day. I’ve been there. I know how hard it is.

Can I suggest getting out the hospital? DD has had 20+ operations with 3 falling in the major category. I’d have gone mad if I’d sat around in the hospital.
I went for coffee in a nearby coffee shop, walked around the area, even got my hair cut once.
I hope everything goes well.

Get outside. Seriously. Look for a decent local walk. With your audio book on.

Trash TV

I think you should go for a walk for
At least some of the time. Pop to costa etc. sitting for 5 hours worrying will do you no physical good - and if you can't help your mental health you can at least help your physical health. There will be many hours sat by his bedside to come.

I hope it goes well.

Do a job you’ve been dodging ie sorting through emails and unsubscribing

I agree with getting out in the fresh air and moving regularly.

When I was waiting for surgery I bought a sudoku book. I found it the right mix of mindnumbing and absorbing.

Take your phone charger.

When waiting on open heart surgery for one of our brood, I walked miles, but within the hospital building. I wore proper sport trainers, had headphones with a good book, and just did laps of the corridors. I couldn't have sat still if you paid me millions. All the very best for your lad

Another person who would recommend you leaving the hospital. You don't have to go far, I used to do laps around the hospital grounds. Adult colouring books kept me busy and my DC would use them during their hospital stay

'I love hue' is quite a soothing phone game to pass maybe 30 mins

Agree with others that you should try and get out, when our DS had major surgery at 6 months the medical team actively encouraged us to leave the hospital, get some fresh air and exercise.

If you want somewhere peaceful another suggestion is to find the hospital chapel .. they are non denominational and just lovely, quiet places to sit, if that's what you want.

Do your online grocery shopping order.
Book your Christmas shopping slot if you can and start your Christmas grocery shopping.
Do as much Christmas present shopping online as you can
Origami
Crosswords/sudoku
bring a sketch pad and do cartoons of the staff (kind ones)
Listen to an audiobook/blog. There are free audiobooks that you can download, or you could do a trial of Audible.
Go onto Mumsnet
Go to the hospital restaurant and have a meal if you can manage it... You probably won't have had one before your DS goes into surgery, or just a cup of coffee if you can't eat. Our restaurant does good meals and the very best cheese scones I have found anywhere!

Thank you. I don’t usually listen to books. But I could. I’ll look into that. I’m certainly not offended by swearing.
DS has specifically asked me to stay there and I shall do as he asks. He is being very brave and has not asked for anything other than that (and a Lego kit!). And to be honest there is nowhere to go nearby out of the hospital (it’s on a fairly grim site on the edge of the city) and the hospital coffee shop holds some quite unfortunate associations for me. So I’ll take a flask of sweet tea and stay put.

When DD had major surgery at 11, I went down to the food bit and forced food and drink down. Then went for a walk outside (checked my phone every 3 seconds…) then went back to the cafe and sat with a drink and tried to read. I forced myself for another walk before going and sitting in the parents room on the ward.

Staying in one place would have made the time go really slowly, and once they’re out of surgery you won’t think to eat so it’s a good time to force yourself to get some food even though you probably won’t feel like eating.

Oh thank you. On line grocery shopping is inspired. As is Christmas shopping. I really did not think of that. My brain feels like it’s seized up when contemplating Tuesday. Otherwise I am quite functional, but I’ve got a blind spot about this. I tend to get a bit light headed and wobbly when anxious. I really am best staying put for lots of reasons.

The hospital chapel is very lovely but it was where I went after the death of my mum last year and I don’t think I can go back so soon.

Ok if you need to stay still I’d write lists. Christmas cards, presents, plan a mad road trip somewhere like France so you concentrate on what’s in each city that you would like to visit. Look at the accommodation nearby - it can be total fantasy but it really doesn’t matter.

DD had some mindful colouring books, could you do something like that?

Holiday research

Even though you probably won't feel like eating, take at least some snacks/sweets to keep your energy up and a flask of your favourite drink. I always find it comforting to watch something I've seen before and enjoy (no added stress as you know what happens...) is there a favourite film you have or a series that you could download? I find magazines easier than books when stressed as it doesn't take as much concentration- maybe have a browse and choose a few?

The staff know its a hugely stressful time and should be supportive, we have a garden attached to the ward where parents can sit should they wish to, might be worth asking what facilities if any they have that you might find help.

I know this probably sounds silly but often when trying to think of what I need I can't, whereas if I imagine a loved one asking me I find it easier to imagine what might help and what I'd recommend and offer to them- I don't know if that makes sense or if it'd help but just in case.

If you download your library app you should be able to get some books for free - perhaps something you loved as a kid? I was listening to Little Women recently which was quite therapeutic for me as I read the whole series multiple times when I was a kid.

I’m also a fan of mindless games like Gardenscapes!

Take a puzzle? I’m sure there will be a table you can use.

go outside.
are there museums nearby?
a gym?

fingers crossed the operation goes well. all the best.

For that time put yourself first. Your son will be in good hands and being looked after so don’t feel bad going for a walk or whatever if it will help you.

do you have anyone who can come and meet you for a coffee and a distract?

Thank you. Some good ideas. I’m a real list maker. Holiday research sounds good too. Thank you for all good wishes.