Why? How? And AIBU!?

[iabuik]

MIL took DC out for the day on Tuesday, used our car seat as she only has FF seats for the older GC. It was returned to us with one of the buckles around the wrong way, meaning to clip DC in you have to twist one of the straps and thus making it very difficult to tighten sufficiently. I spent half an hour trying to figure out how MIL had managed to do this and the only way to rectify it would require the right tools, significant effort and a lot of patience.

I told DP and asked if he would speak to MIL to ask how this had happened, to which he replied "I'm not going to ask her, that's accusing her of having done something to it". I pointed out that in the whole time we've had this car seat (~3 months) we'd had no issues, and on the one occasion MIL uses it, it has returned as it has. I'm not playing the "blame game", I just want to know if she can help me to figure out how it might have happened so we can fix it.

AIBU to want to ask her? And how on earth do car seat straps get randomly twisted without effort? (To clarify again, the strap isn't "twisted" but the buckle is suddenly round the wrong way)

Our buckles used to get twisted round all the time. You just twist the strap and pinch it together then pull the buckle back over it then once it's on the other side it is the right way round again.

Couldn't ever figure out how it happened but it isn't hard to fix

Not sure its worth the effort of raising it, just fix it.

My car seat belts get randomly twisted ALL the time without anything being done to them, any slight movement seems to send them that way.

As per @DappledThings it seems really wrong and permanent but once you work out that you do a single twist and slide the buckle over it, it’s really easy to fix - and understand how it happened.

IMO you’d be unreasonable and rude to mention it.

Ours get twisted all the time and I can't tell you how it happens, it's just one of this things.

Your husband is right.

Thinking about it actually I don’t think mine did it for the first few months, it seemed to happen later on - whether that’s because of increased child movement or wear I don’t know - but I wouldn’t mind betting you find it happens frequently now without you doing anything to it. It’s a design flaw IMO, probably not anything your MIL has done.

What kind of tools so you need to turn a buckle on a strap?
It is a simple thing to do without tools or much time or effort

Assuming that it's as easy a fix as other posters have said, then I wouldn't bother speaking to MIL, but if it's not, then I don't see any reason why you wouldn't ask her. I'd just say when you took little one out in the car seat the other day MIL, did you have any problems with the straps, only I've noticed that the buckle seems to have twisted and wonder if you noticed? That way, you're giving her an opportunity to say that she struggled with it, and did XYZ to make it work, and not accusing her at all.

Why would you ask DH to speak to her and not just ask her yourself?

Ive no idea on these buckles but it seems an easy fix from PP comments so maybe something that doesn't need an explanation from MIL either way.

What's the point in asking how it happened unless you actually believe your MIL used tools to sabotage the safety of the car seat.

Just fix it or replace it, shit happens.

Google twisted car seat buckle and sort it. You are definitely being unreasonable. What t can happen for no reason. Just be grateful that your MIL takes them out

I can’t imagine she’s done anything on purpose or is even aware that she’s done something to the car seat. If she knew what she’d done presumably she would have fixed it. Asking her what she’s done will only make her feel bad about breaking it. I’m not sure what you’re insinuating with this post? That she’s deliberately done something?

Why don’t you post a picture here and people can suggest how to fix?

Our Joie does this all the time. The first time, I had to take the seat out the car to work out what the fuck had happened to it. Once I realised it was as PP have said, I can now fix it in two seconds with the car seat still in place. I still don’t know what I do to make it happen in the first place, but it isn’t misuse on my part so I guess just one of those things.

I do this to my baby's Joie car seat all the time - no idea how/when it happens. My husband doesn't do it, yet it happens to me loads!

It's easy to untwist if you watch a YouTube video. No idea how it happens it just does. Absolutely no reason to ask her, YABU.