I read a post a few days ago, and I’ve never really seen from your child’s view, was I being unreasonable to dads stepchild? Sorry for the long post!
Names are changed for obvious reasons
background story- DD1 is 16 from pervious marriage when I was 20 years old and DD2 is two from now partner. DD1 dad (Tim) remarried with a women (Tina) who had a daughter ( Anna) 8 months older than DD1 when she was 2 years old. They became super close like twins, they also started the same infant school and then primary school. And I’m not too sure how but I had my ex’s wife’s step daughter at mines half the time, of course he would pay extra towards food and everything I.e cinema/bowling and I never thought of it as an issue, it was rather nice to see DD1 have a sibling in a way because I for sure did not want any more children back then or could of possibly afford to or had a decent enough relationship to think about it! DD1 and I moved aboard at the age of 6, but came back every Xmas and summer to London. Anyway I took Anna away to a camping trip with my family and when they were 8 years old, it was a nice trip, Anna was well behaved and very smart, my DD1 always wanted to be by her side. Even only seeing each other twice a year they were still very close, anyway fast forward a year, Anna stayed at my family home with us the next summer we was back for a week before her and DD1 was off to Italy for a month with Tim, I started seeing changes in the girls relationship, Anna was pretty pushy towards DD1, and when DD1 didn’t want to follow or do something she wanted to do, Anna would be manipulative saying things to try and get DD1 to follow or do. She was never violent but sly towards DD1, I was just shocked. I did not really raise it up with Tim or Tina, as we had a very good co parenting relationship, do anything I mention to Tim was that DD1 what’s more independent and please let her have her own time and space while in Italy. I also spoke to DD1 that any issues that drop me a call or text message. I just said if there’s a problem you need me to know just text me “Apple”. That was always our code for problem and needed help or attention. Didn’t seem to have any issues. We moved back from aboard to London for secondary school. Anna and DD1 are at different secondary schools, Anna attends a Private girls school. Summer holiday when DD1 is 12 years old now has openly said she doesn’t like Anna and dreads seeing her, and has said she only wants to time with dad and not go on holiday with dad side of family, this I couldn’t make happen so breaking my heart I would have to let her see dad for a month in the summer time (they went to France and Spain) this was agreed on when DD1 and I moved aboard, I’m not too sure why we didn’t speak about changing it, but because Tim had booked everything and I couldn’t afford to reimburse him for it I couldn’t stop the trip from going forward. We agreed for a different set up after this month long trip. My parents then went ahead and planned a four day trip to Greece before DD1 had to go back to school because they knew she would of wanted something happy to look forward to, they didn’t know the whole reason behind why DD1 was not happy about going. my parents asked if Anna would come with us, I asked DD1 she said no so I told my parents no. Once Tim and Tina had heard about the Grace trip, all hell broke loose. Anna had been crying and wanted to come with us to Greece. I didn’t feel bad about it, all I wanted to do was to protect my child from her pushy so-called step sister. I think at the time, I never really thought about how Anna viewed things, and it was just how DD1 was feeling. Did I do the wrong thing for just agreeing with myDD1?
from then on forward, I never took Anna on holiday again with us or did she spend any time with us at our place.