To panic about Covid & Wedding?

Foxyfoxyfox · 2023-10-12T07:08:32+00:00

my youngest DS has Covid. We get married in 18 days. My mum and dad both have various serious health conditions, and I wouldn’t want to expose them to it. What’s the likelihood it will have gone through the household and we all be better and non contagious before the wedding?

ASCCM · 12/10/2023 08:11

You might not all get it? Impossible to say tbh. I guess you go ahead and give everyone the option if they want to come or not based on tests the day before?

Hope everyone gets better!

00100001 · 12/10/2023 08:11

They'll be fine, presumably immunised and it's nearly 3 weeks away....

There'll be all sorts of germy people there.

MissHoollie · 12/10/2023 08:12

I think it's likely if you catch it it should be within the next 5 days hopefully you all catch it together or not at all.

Original poster

Foxyfoxyfox · 12/10/2023 08:15

Yes they’ve had all their jabs but my Dad has cancer and I couldn’t expose him knowingly to any illness. It just happens that this is Covid.

OP posts:

widowtwankywashroom · 12/10/2023 08:16

I never caught it from my daughter when she had it, nor from my husband when I was desperate to catch it! We even had sex so I could try and catch it
Are your parents isolating?
Are they not out and about with people who could have covid and not realise, or flu, or a cold?

widowtwankywashroom · 12/10/2023 08:16

Foxyfoxyfox · 12/10/2023 08:15

Yes they’ve had all their jabs but my Dad has cancer and I couldn’t expose him knowingly to any illness. It just happens that this is Covid.

How does he get on day to day, does he go shopping, to cafe's, supermarket?

00100001 · 12/10/2023 08:17

Foxyfoxyfox · 12/10/2023 08:15

Yes they’ve had all their jabs but my Dad has cancer and I couldn’t expose him knowingly to any illness. It just happens that this is Covid.

How many people are going? Are you making them isolate with any illness?

JustGivingUp · 12/10/2023 08:18

I never caught it from my DC.

Ilovegoldies · 12/10/2023 08:18

Knowingly exposing someone and them picking it up from shops are two different things.

Original poster

Foxyfoxyfox · 12/10/2023 08:19

There’s only going to be 15 guests all close family and yes no one would come if they were knowingly unwell.

OP posts:

Original poster

Foxyfoxyfox · 12/10/2023 08:19

Ilovegoldies · 12/10/2023 08:18

Knowingly exposing someone and them picking it up from shops are two different things.

Thank you - this is how I see it too.

OP posts:

Middlelanehogger · 12/10/2023 08:20

I mean realistically what are you gonna do? Cancel the wedding? Tell him not to come?

BiscuitsandPuffin · 12/10/2023 08:20

We even had sex so I could try and catch it
It's not an STD!

Original poster

Foxyfoxyfox · 12/10/2023 08:22

Middlelanehogger · 12/10/2023 08:20

I mean realistically what are you gonna do? Cancel the wedding? Tell him not to come?

I wouldn’t tell him not to come, I don’t think he would want to though. I can’t cancel the wedding when everything is arranged. I’m upset at the thought of doing it without him.

OP posts:

StripyHorse · 12/10/2023 08:27

Hopefully you have either caught it by now (and will be past it) or you will have dodged it. Ventilation is key to minimising spread.

In terms of reducing his risk on the day...

I vas very cautious when my dad had chemo and tested prior to meeting him - we discovered my daughter had covid that way. Perhaps guests (if only 15) could do that. Also, I would recommend hepa filters or making sure the room is well ventilated. If you explain to the venue, they may agree for staff to wear masks when serving in the room you are in, assuming it is a private room.

All the best.

Middlelanehogger · 12/10/2023 08:28

I'd say your moral responsibility is to tell him that you've had COVID recently in the family, and accommodate anything he asks for (like if he wants to wear a mask obviously don't throw a fuss saying it'll ruin the pictures, but you don't sound like it), and don't be upset with any of the decisions he's making.

But unless he's totally self-isolating then he's probably been exposed to it just going to the shops. His doctors know he's a cancer patient and can advise.

widowtwankywashroom · 12/10/2023 08:32

BiscuitsandPuffin · 12/10/2023 08:20

We even had sex so I could try and catch it
It's not an STD!

I am aware of that!
But your faces are pretty dam close for a long period of time!

nether · 12/10/2023 08:42

widowtwankywashroom · 12/10/2023 08:16

How does he get on day to day, does he go shopping, to cafe's, supermarket?

Show quote history

You do realise there are around 1 - 2 million people in UK who are still living in isolation?

This wasn't necessary, pre-covid (for there is still so much we don't know about covid, treatments still not that good, and it's circulating all year round so it's not even the case of a few weeks at height of flu season).

And yes it's shit.

You realise very quickly how disablist society is, when the riskiest part of life for a cancer patient is when they have to go to hospital for treatment because not even there do people practice physical measures like masking and investing in ventilation/filters. And of course now some trusts are even making some of their staff attend workplace when they know they have covid.

It's a really shit life - it's people all ages, and it's everyone on active cancer treatment.

Back to the point of the thread.
OP - unless you are very unlucky, I think it will be behind your household in plenty of time. Plenty of reports that it doesn't last more than a fortnight.

Presumably you've already asked guests with symptoms in their household to keep away, explaining that there will be a highly vulnerable person present (guidelines for confirmed cases say adults 5 days only leaving home if essential to go out, and to keep entirely away from more vulnerable people) and have you asked venue about ventilation?

I'm assuming you're Dad will be masked, and that you've considered how he will eat (does he have a portable hepa filter unit, so indoors near open window, or do you have tables outside under a gazebo sort of thing?)

stayathomer · 12/10/2023 09:50

All you can do is take it day by day and worry about all the things anyone getting married worries about! Hope everyone feels better soon and it goes well for you x

LlynTegid · 12/10/2023 09:56

I don't know the likelihood, but think you should test daily.

Thisisnotlikehim · 12/10/2023 10:03

I lost my dad recently and it was covid caught in hospital that finished him off so you are wise to be cautious OP. I also have several friends with long covid, whose lives have never returned to normal. Have had to give up work even.

I think, as it’s such a small wedding, you can talk to people and let them know but 18 days is a fairly long time. I think you’ll know by then. You could do LFTs beforehand to be more certain.

Congratulations btw!!

fadingfast · 12/10/2023 10:07

My DD(15) recently had covid and neither DH nor I caught it from her. We didn’t distance at all, but tried to keep lots of windows open. DH and I had our last infection a year ago, both had boosters late 2022/early 2023. Fingers crossed for you!

Original poster

Foxyfoxyfox · 12/10/2023 11:16

nether · 12/10/2023 08:42

You do realise there are around 1 - 2 million people in UK who are still living in isolation?

This wasn't necessary, pre-covid (for there is still so much we don't know about covid, treatments still not that good, and it's circulating all year round so it's not even the case of a few weeks at height of flu season).

And yes it's shit.

You realise very quickly how disablist society is, when the riskiest part of life for a cancer patient is when they have to go to hospital for treatment because not even there do people practice physical measures like masking and investing in ventilation/filters. And of course now some trusts are even making some of their staff attend workplace when they know they have covid.

It's a really shit life - it's people all ages, and it's everyone on active cancer treatment.

Back to the point of the thread.
OP - unless you are very unlucky, I think it will be behind your household in plenty of time. Plenty of reports that it doesn't last more than a fortnight.

Presumably you've already asked guests with symptoms in their household to keep away, explaining that there will be a highly vulnerable person present (guidelines for confirmed cases say adults 5 days only leaving home if essential to go out, and to keep entirely away from more vulnerable people) and have you asked venue about ventilation?

I'm assuming you're Dad will be masked, and that you've considered how he will eat (does he have a portable hepa filter unit, so indoors near open window, or do you have tables outside under a gazebo sort of thing?)

Show quote history

Thank you for understanding what it’s like. Yes already asked guests to test beforehand and to stay away if there is any symptoms of any illness. We have got air filters, will open windows etc. DF will wear mask when he can. I’m hoping this is enough for him to feel safe. Everyone in my household will be extra careful with testing etc from now until the wedding.

OP posts:

sleepwouldbenice · 12/10/2023 11:36

Do you know how long he's had it?

Are you doing mask wearing , windows etc at the moment.

How old are they? Can they be quite self-sufficient?

Have you had covid recently?

All these factors may help / hinder

I understand your concern. I had a key funeral recently, was worried might infect lots elderly relatives, its rife at the moment 😕

JC89 · 12/10/2023 11:54

Keep testing and hoping is about all you can do I think, hopefully everyone will be through it (or won't get it) by then.

But I think you should tell your parents what is going on and give them the option of not coming if they are not comfortable - it would be hugely disappointing but make it clear to them that you understand if they feel they can't make it. You might be able to set up a video link so they can be part of it? Then have a celebration with them another time?

Unless there is the option of postponing, but there's no guarantee that someone else won't be ill!