Nursery and SEN assesments

[Octoberfest11]

I posted last week about nursery contacting me regarding a meeting to review my 3.5 year old DS development. I wondered if this was usual practice as they usually do reviews by phone and I questioned whether they wanted to discuss potential SEN. Most said not to worry.

Had my meeting yesterday and was indeed advised they want to refer him for a SEN assessment.

They said he is a highly intelligent, advanced, happy, confident, funny and kind boy and that his inquisitive and curious nature impresses them every day. They said however that he doesn't tend to stay playing in groups and prefers to go off and explore on his own. They have tried to put him in smaller groups to help encourage/ nurture bonds with the other kids but apparently he loses interest quite quickly as the other children as he tends to complete the game or activity sooner then wants to move on.

They say he is great with the adults and talks and engages with them regularly and is friendly with the other children but just prefers his own company. For context he has a brother close in age and a best friend outside of nursery that he actively plays and engages with happily. Holding hands, taking turns, chasing, giggling, talking and playing together. So I've never had a concern.

I am new to the world of SEN. Does this sound like anyone else's child and what was the outcome?

I obviously want to support any additional social needs he may have and facilitate social integration as its important but also wonder is there no room for individuality or nuance in their behaviours at this age? Could it be that he is not forming bonds as no other kids seem to be on his level or does it not work like this and sound like ASD.

Any experiences would be much appreciated.

It's hard to say without knowing him or more about him. It sounds like he has a lot of strengths, which is great! How is he with loud noises or loud, busy places? How is he with unexpected changes to his routine? Does he have any fussiness around food or clothing? How does he move - is he clumsy or very careful? Is he your first child?

@MoMandaS yes he is my first child. He used to put his hands over his ears when the radio came on unexpectedly but he has stopped that. We've been in dancefloors at weddings and busy restaurants and he's absolutely fine. He enjoys them. He doesn't like fleecy clothing and refuses to wear them but my friends boy is the exact same and hasn't been referred

I think it's worth considering that nurseries see a lot of children so they know what's typical and what's not. However, what they're seeing in your son might not be indicative of ASD. It might be just that he's a bit different/brighter than the others. Or, it could be ADHD, which can present a lot like ASD in some ways. The H in that is misleading as there is a common subtype called inattentive ADHD, which presents without the physical hyperactivity. Just their description of him as inquisitive and curious makes me wonder if that might be more the direction they're going. People with ADHD tend to have slower processing so can struggle in social groups. Who are they referring him to for this assessment? The council SEND team or a health care professional?

I'm in a similar situation but a year on.

We did the referral. It will be years before they get to the top of the list and are offered an assessment by which time it will either be pointless and we can decline or will have become apparent that there is something going on.
It's just about getting them any support and understanding they need. Much better than being labelled as naughty I think if they struggle with some aspects of school when they start.

I've read a lot of accounts of parents having to fight to get educational establishments to help them get a referral, your nursery sounds great.

My daughter was put on a SEN plan at nursery mainly because she cried at every drop off and wanted to be on her own all the time rather than join in with her peers. I think they were querying ASD, tbh I was also starting to wonder this too. Anyway she started preschool at a different school and was a totally different child, SEN no longer needed. I think it was a lot to do with the lack of nurturing environment and support at nursery. The preschool actually made an effort to get to know her and form positive attachments with her. So even if your DC is put on a SEN plan now it doesn't mean they'll need it forever.

@MoMandaS that's interesting didn't know that. Not entirely sure tbh they just said the assesment should happen in around a months time, I'm waiting for more information about who it is with etc

@humpty74 the nursery did say it would take years for a true diagnosis. What was the assesment like if you don't mind me asking and what was the feedback was it like yes they need more support and investigation on the register or no they're fine next type thing?

@Littleguggi I did wonder if it was the setting as he plays with kids sometimes at playgroup but I guess that is an hour and it's not constant

It could absolutely be the setting. You know your DC better than anyone else. I know ASD can present differently in different settings, but ADHD is usually consistent. With the sensory stuff you have mentioned, that's pretty normal for this age group. My DD had a SEN plan which was an in house thing, they didn't refer her on for any assessments so it'll be interesting to find out who they want to refer your DC to.

Ours was a form and one for the nursery to fill out (really long!) asking specific questions and for examples of you said yes to anything. We're still waiting to hear back.

The process varies by area I think. If nursery are suggesting it then I would consider it at least. Schools have fewer staff available to observe your child specifically because of ratios so you might find when he starts school, if you decide you want a referral, the school might say they haven't seen evidence and won't do the paperwork.

My daughter started nursery when she was 2 and within a few months the senco was asking for a meeting with us, we had already seen some signs at home with her development. The way you describe your son sounds like her, she would be happy in her own little world playing alone and was very hyperfocused, she didn't form any close friendships. Someone from the local authority came in to do an assesment for her at the nursery. She started school during covid, so the teachers didn't notice it at first, but by April/May her teacher said they would do a support plan for her, by year 1 she was referred to the paediatrician and in year 2 she was diagnosed with ADHD and possible autism(she is awaiting this assessment) referrals can take years, so if they want to refer him then just go along with it, in the time it takes to get seen he may start to show signs that he isn't neurodiverse.

The thing is, if there’s no SEN you’ve lost nothing. If it is, an early diagnosis is invaluable.

FWIW he sounds like my older son who has ASD. He’s educationally advanced but has emotional regulation issues which only became clear as he got older. He’s brilliant and funny and has friends/play dates, hobbies etc. But he does need support and having his diagnosis has been invaluable. His friend limped along for years before being diagnosed and had a really rough few years so I’d take all the help offered.

@Merryoldgoat please may I ask what 'support' looks like? Thank you for responding

I worked in early years for twenty years. Things stand out in a setting which don't at home or with family/friends. I'd take any support or assessments on offer and see what they say. You can withdraw or ignore but starting early if there is a support need identified is invaluable.

Of course.

He has a TA in class
He can use a laptop
He can use a scribe in exams if necessary
He needs movement breaks
He finds dissent in class and playground difficult and become very disregulated if he senses unfairness
He needs to be guided to include other people’s opinions sometimes (but this depends on the person)

He finds school boring. He has a near photographic memory and can repeat the teacher verbatim and picks things up very quickly which means the class moves too slowly for him in some areas.

At home he’s broadly fine although the has a poor grasp of interpersonal dynamics so interrupts, says inappropriate things, has no sense of timing. His desires are always paramount.

He’s 10. It’s hard work sometimes but he’s very funny, very engaging and intelligent and he’s very charming and kind. We have a younger boy (5) who also has ASD but with much more complex needs (non verbal, still in nappies) and the older is brilliant with him. Endlessly patient and never unkind. It’s been a big surprise how they get on.