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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think i am NOT tech support for my parents?

27 replies

Emprexia · 07/03/2008 13:23

Don't get me wrong, i love my parents and i have a REALLY good relationship with them, but ever since my brother moved to the USA last year i have suddenly become Tech Support and its driving me batty.

In the last couple of months alone i've been called at stupid o'clock to try and fix my mothers laptop over the phone.. set up my dads iPod and tell him how to import CD's and buy songs.. that took 4 phonecalls and 3 visits.. and some written instructions... and work out why there TV wouldn't pick up that the DVD player was on.

sigh

I would'nt mind, only they want help now and its often with things i don't have myself so i have to fumble through the same way they would... and honestly.. trying to explain anything.. grrrr.. ITs not even like they're old.. they're only in their 50's and my dads an Engineer fgs!

OP posts:
Original poster
Emprexia · 07/03/2008 13:24

*why their.. not there.. god, that annoys me and i just did it myself. glar.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 07/03/2008 13:27

Of course you are. You are younger so it stands to reason you will understand anything technical. I work in IT but that doesn't mean I understand how every laptop works or what 'that funny little flashing icon' means. And I don't do cabling - I have people to do that for me in work

I am just waiting for my DCs to get a bit older so I can use them for tech support. It's in the blood you know.

quint · 07/03/2008 13:30

YABU - did you need them at all hours of the day when you were growing up and were they there for you?

You maybe need to explain to them that you will be over to help when you can, but that right now I'm a little busy with ......

I personally can;t understand why you have a problem, I would love to go and help my parents out with little jobs but they live over 400 miles away so I can't.

alicet · 07/03/2008 13:47

I know what you mean. My FIL is a right pita with this.

We bought PILs a webcam over 2 years ago now before ds1 was born so they could see him (they live at the other end of the country). After about a year they managed to get broadband but ever since I have lost count of the number of times FIL has asked how to set it up.

To which I reply 'look in the instructions about connecting it to your computer - it's not the same as ours so I don't know' and then 'go to messenger or skype websites (have sent links) and click on the option to download for free. Follow the instructions - I can't remember exactly how to but its very easy'

A couple of weeks later he asks again and I bash my head against the brick wall!!!!!

alicet · 07/03/2008 13:48

I wouldn't mind if he had even tried and failed and then had different questions but he clearly just ignores my messages!

littlelapin · 07/03/2008 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jumpingbeans · 07/03/2008 13:50

Ha Ha,I do this all the time,saves so much time reading those boring instruction booklets

elesbells · 07/03/2008 13:51

my mother is like this since she got her first PC.

I bought her a 'computers for dummies' handbook for christmas - now she calls me all the time because she doesn't understand what the book is trying to show her!

ILiketoMarmiteMarmite · 07/03/2008 13:58

I think YAB a bit U actually. If you're very busy, or asleep, when they call ask can they call back. If you don't know the answer say so. If you can help, or if you can work it out with them when they can't do it alone, or get panicked about it, then I'd probably say it would be better to be a bit more generous with your time and ability.

You say you love them and have a really good relationship with them. Have they ever refused you help with anything? Probably nothing that it was in their power to do.

Ineedacleaner · 07/03/2008 14:01

Nope YANBU at all. I can totally see why people say you are but having a FIL like this I can totally agrre it is a PITA.

My FIL shouldn't have a pc and certainly should never have bought a MAC he was never off the blinking phone and usually it is hi fault he cannot do the thing wants but it is ALWAYS someone elses fault.

Thankfully he is also a huffy git and hasn't spoken to us since Christmas day but that is a whole other story.

throckenholt · 07/03/2008 14:03

mine too - has been doing it for year - usually rings me up and asks me to set something up for her over the phone that I have never even seen before - or often a piece of software I never use.

And she is totally unable to follow any instructions in manuals.

Hmm - DH is not much better - so maybe it is just a case of never ever admitting any competence - then they would have asked someone else in the first place - way too late now though I think

NomDePlume · 07/03/2008 14:07

Both of my BIL's are like this. It drives me potty. Now when BIL1 phones we just answer the phone 'Hello, IT Helpdesk'.

BIL2 who lives locally to us has now taken to bringing his laptop over when they come for dinner etc so that DH can 'quickly help him out'.

Don't get me wrong, I love my BIL's but they do take the piss royally

Kimi · 07/03/2008 14:11

Oh DP is the god of all thinks techy.

We always have someones laptop/PC/whatever about being mended

Sugarmagnolia · 07/03/2008 14:13

Nope, sorry YABU - it is an unwritten law that children ARE tech support for their parents, no matter how intelligent said parents are. My FIL has about 7 different degrees (seriously!) but still calls DH to do everything from set up his new laptop to change the timeswitch on the boiler! Fortunately for me my dad usually calls my brother with all his technical questions, although my brother has actually been known to put him on hold and play soothing music over the phone if it's not a convenient time.

Kimi · 07/03/2008 14:27

I only had children so someone could set the video for me when DH was out

claricebeansmum · 07/03/2008 14:31

This is my parents too. They often ask over for Sunday lunch and then lock DH away in study to fix PC! Grrrr

But like last post DS can often get stuff to work that I can't and he can assemble Ikea furniture quicker than I can put the first two bits together wrong and he is only 11 yo!

I think it is part of being a member of the younger generation - I'm not sure my parents really understand what they are doing with all the new technology. They haven't quite tried to microwave something in the TV but have come close

chopchopbusybusy · 07/03/2008 14:46

Sorry, but YAB a bit U. My Mum was having trouble recently with her new DVD player. with the help of an on line instruction manual I was able to help her out. Admittedly, it was very funny and DD1 was sniggering in the background as I tried to get Mum to understand my instructions...Funniest bit was when I asked if she was sure there was a DVD in the player "Oh yes, shiny side up!" .

It did give me a chance to explain to DD1 that as she was the eldest child she would be forever responsible for technical support when her father and I are just too old to be arsed.

SofiaAmes · 07/03/2008 14:56

Sorry but it's a fact of life. I have a very useful suggestions however. Get them a mac. You will have many many fewer calls (although initial set up for internet can sometimes be a little more challenging).

And make it a condition of the help that they consult with you before buying new electronics so that you can research and check what you are getting yourself into.

Ineedacleaner · 07/03/2008 16:52

God no FIL getting a MAC was the worst thing ever he got worse lol.

Original poster
Emprexia · 07/03/2008 17:05

sofi.. that was my brothers job, lol.. now he's escaped and i've been left with the job.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 07/03/2008 17:10

YABU

When you are old and grey and technologically challenged surely you would expect your dcs to help you understand how to use the latest gadgets!

fishie · 07/03/2008 17:11

oh isn't it just TERRIBLE. mine are so infuriating, they never listen properly and then complain that it still doesn't work. no i don't know why your printer is only printing colour or why you never save any files where you can find them.

they bought round a mobile phone for me to instruct them in last week and they hadn't a) charged it or b) brought the charger with them. how do you help people like that?

i am deemed most sensible child and thus get stuck with all this.

ILiketoMarmiteMarmite · 07/03/2008 17:38

It reminds me of all the mother's day threads with people posting saying why oh why did their dp/dh have to go round to MIL and shouldn't he be feting me and feeding me toast cut into hearts? Do the same people expect their ds's not to visit them on mother's day once they have the misfortune to settle down with similar?

Don't you owe your parents a few favours & wouldn't you hope your dc would be a bit more generous to you?

Oh dear am I going all judgy? No offence - but does it really take all that much out of you to give them a hand?

Greyriverside · 07/03/2008 17:48

If you are stuck as tech support (and I'm afraid it does go with being younger) you might want to install realvnc on their computers. (If you don't know the program it gives you total control as though their computer were in front of you)

Explaining can be very frustrating, but with VNC you can do it yourself quickly and escape. They can see you moving the mouse while you tell them on the phone what you are doing (hands free is useful here)

They still get to see what you did, but you don't have to suffer through them saying "I can't find the ANY key"

Greyriverside · 07/03/2008 17:52

oh and can I just whinge here. I know people with a set top box, a DVD player and a VCR are going to struggle with all the scart leads etc, but surely.. SURELY!!! they would know that at least one of them would have to plug into the TV?