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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children’s Dad

6 replies

Stressedoutbird · 11/10/2023 09:51

My kids dad barely sees them. He hasn’t seen them for years then night before their birthday he asked to see them on one of their birthday (birthdays are close together ).
im not best pleased as he doesn’t bother the rest of the year. I tell him we will be in the pub at tea time and to come and buy his kids a birthday drink. Kids are young adults. He says he can’t be there till 8 as he has to pick up keys.
so fast forward till 6pm and I message him to see if he’s coming he says no. A load of excuses. So we leave. We get home at. 7.30.
7.45 and he posts birthday cards through the letterbox. I found this sneaky as he thought we’re still in pub. His excuse is he couldn’t be in the pub cos he was posting the kids birthday cards .
surely you would pick up keys and then meet at the pub and bring the cards to them instead he’s used it as an excuse. He said he can meet the next night but kids aren’t interested. It’s a long line of been let down. Yes there adults. One is vulnerable adult.
he has another child and gf.
AIBU to be annoyed by this.

OP posts:
Safarisling · 11/10/2023 09:56

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Heidi1976 · 11/10/2023 10:02

Maybe he feels uncomfortable spending time with them with you there and he wanted to see them alone? Not excusing his past behaviour, that just what seems most likely to me about this situation.

underneaththeash · 11/10/2023 10:03

If they’re young adults just tell him that you’re blocking him and he needs to contact his children directly.

Stressedoutbird · 11/10/2023 10:05

No it’s not that . He’s quite happy seeing them at my house with me being there. It’s been the only time he’s seen them is at my house. Hasn’t taken them out for over 7 years. His choice

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 11/10/2023 10:05

Have the kids asked you to field his requests etc? If so then I feel for you and I would keep doing what you're doing, annoying as it is. And yes he is crap, YANBU to be irritated with him.

If they haven't, turn it over to them. Tell him to ask his kids directly if he wants to see them.

Stressedoutbird · 11/10/2023 10:07

@takealettermsjones yes I showed the kids his response. Youngest response was the middle finger

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