I fell down the stairs with my 18 month old

[confusedmum16]

I was half asleep this morning carrying my son, I had my other sons nursery clothes in the other hand. I slipped at the bottom I didn't have enough time to react to what happened, I let go of my baby😢 how could I let go? Lucky he's fine,but I'm not, I can't seem to let go of the fact I let him go

I still think about slipping down the stairs & dragging ds with me when he was little. He's a lumbering almost 11 year old now and was absolutely fine although upset by the fact that mummy cried.

These things happen. We're all just doing our best every single day.

If dc seems ok, just chalk it up to experience and in my case never wear shiny slippy socks again.

In the meantime sending you a big hug xx

I’m so glad he’s ok! How about you, are you alright?

I’m thinking of two potential reasons you weren’t still holding your boy. One: it was a reflex over which you had no control. Two: you’re a terrible, awful, baby-dropping mother. Reason one seems a lot more believable to me?

You’re not the first you won’t be the last- glad he’s fine. Honestly OP it will play on your mind because it was an accident and you care, but don’t beat yourself up about it.

OP my Sister did the same and it upsets me to recall how distressed she was about it.

You're worried that your reflexes can't be suppressed by your protective instincts. When things happen in a moment you simply don't have time to do a calm risk assessment because your reflexes kick in.

Be kind to yourself. Hope you're both OK.

This is completely normal reaction to falling. It's a similar reason as to why holding children on laps in cars isn't safe. Despite believing we would hold on tight in a crash we let go as a reflex to use our arms to protect us. We are hardwired to do so.
The fact you feel so bad proves how much of a good mum you are. 💐

because if you hadn't let go you might have landed on top of him and that would have been a thousand times worse. If an adult and child are falling, it is instinct for the adult to stop themselves first and foremost, to protect the child

I once was checking work emails on my phone (I am ashamed but I'm sharing to make you feel better OP) while following my 18 mo DS upstairs. He fell and I reacted by trapping him against the wall with my leg, which worked although he ended up upside down against the wall.

I still think about it now and feel horrible, which I deserve because I wasn't paying proper attention so it's my fault he fell.

What happened to you is not your fault at all.

I also fell upstairs carrying an almost newborn because I slipped.. that was just at accident though and most mums have a falling carrying a baby story. Don't worry xxx

Thank you for all your lovely responses. After a big cry and some cuddles I feel much better. I know now not to walk down stairs with my hands full!

To top it all off my oldest got to nursery this morning and told his teacher i dropped his brother on his head ( I didn't ) they love to exaggerate 😂

Honestly it probably would have been worse if you fell and kept ahold of him, don’t beat yourself up!

if you had held onto him you might have landed on top of him. Dropping him may have been for the best. Just treat it as a warning to be more careful.

Hope you're okay! It happened to me 8 years ago and I STILL think about it. The dropping is not "dropping", it's a reflex and out of your control (as you're falling). I remember I let go of my daughter as I fell but she stayed on top of me as we fell down the stairs then slid down my legs at the end. She had a cry but was absolutely fine.

Don't beat yourself up about it OP. It was an accident. I know so many parents/grandparents who have done this, it's very common. It's all ok, he is fine.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Your body's natural instinct would be to let go, even if you didn't want to.

Back in the late 70s when seatbelts weren't compulsory in cars my Dad bought seatbelts from the manufacturers and fitted then himself. My Nan always wanted to sit holding me (as a baby) in the passenger seat. My parents refused and she got very upset because "even if we crashed I'd hold onto her very tightly". She was laughed at and told no, my carrycot would be strapped firmly only the back seat.

Moral of story, what you'd want to do, and what your body does are very different things. You couldn't help it.

Maybe next time make sure you have a free hand to grab the banister. Two journeys up and down is better than a fall.

Grow up.