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AIBU?

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Original poster

Postpartum body comments from DP

40 replies

Username1233 · 10/10/2023 18:13

I've recently stopped breastfeeding so aware my hormones are everywhere at the moment. I'm unsure if I'm being unreasonable and extra sensitive or DP has been hurtful/inappropriate with his comments. We have been together 10 years, 2 DC, I am 4 months postpartum.

I have always found myself to be body conscious anyway, I thought this was due to my own insecurities but now I'm wondering if it's comments like my DP has recently made, chipping away at my confidence over the past 10 years.

For context, I have been working out, have lost a lot of my pregnancy weight (and more), now weighing 8 stone 7. I have felt a real pressure to "bounce back".

"I'm secretly so happy you have lost the baby weight and haven't let yourself go"

And todays comment, the most hurtful one to date

"oh my goodness your boobs are so tiny now" (said in a playful/joke like manner).

aibu to think both comments are offensive and completely unnecessary?! The second one was said in a jokey way, but it's true. And before I sit him down to have a chat about just how hurt I am, I need to check in that I'm not just being overally emotionally and sensitive!

OP posts:
Serenity45 · 10/10/2023 19:52

I'm not sure who the fuck he thinks he's talking to?! Misogynistic prick...not oversensitive at all OP. I'm loads fatter than you, haven't ever given birth and my DH adores me (I've been everything from a size 10 to a 20 for various reasons over the years)

EvilElsa · 10/10/2023 19:56

I'd have to make a dick comment. Not immediately so it looks like just a bite back, but next time he tries it on and gets it out give it a critical stare and ask him if dicks shrink with age. What a twat.

Olika · 10/10/2023 19:58

Not overreacting.

Cakecakecheese · 10/10/2023 20:00

Wait does he expect you to lose the baby weight but miraculously not lose any of it from your boobs? 🤨

4 months is barely any time at all to be losing the baby weight so it's really sad that you felt you had to when you've got so many other things going on.

Cowlover89 · 10/10/2023 20:00

Definitely not overreacting. I couldn't stay with someone like that x

TomatoSandwiches · 10/10/2023 20:05

YANBU, who on earth does he think he is? Clearly has no clue what your body goes through to grow, deliver and nourish a whole human being, stupid man.
I wouldn't want to have sex with him ever again.

Canisaysomething · 10/10/2023 20:13

The thought of someone like that as a husband and a father is scary. He’s going to ruin yours and your children’s self esteem.

Anyflippingname · 10/10/2023 20:18

This man gives me major ick.

HowToSaveAWife · 10/10/2023 20:26

"I'm not sure who the fuck you think you're talking to because it's definitely not the woman who has grown, birthed and fed your children from her own body. And a wonder it was considering you're a limp dicked miserable twat who seems to have got the notion that my body is for his perusal. I must say dear bollix that I admire your confidence to even have the nerve to think of any comment or criticism of my anatomy with a hairline/gut/droopy gusset/micro penis like that."

I would absolutely let rage reign.

Also: LTC. Have upgraded LTB, he deserves it.

Sayitaintso33 · 10/10/2023 20:27

FOJN · 10/10/2023 18:24

"I'm secretly so happy you have lost the baby weight and haven't let yourself go"

The notion of a woman "letting herself go" after carrying and delivering a whole new human is deeply misogynistic.

I wouldn't attempt to be gentle when I told him he was an arsehole.

Such a a silly use of misogynistic.

ZickZack · 10/10/2023 20:34

He's horrible. DH has never commented negatively on my body ever. It's a nasty thing to do

LaurieFairyCake · 10/10/2023 20:40

I just don't think men should comment on women's bodies at any point, at any time. Not for a minute have I ever commented on my husbands body - why would I ?

I'd be tempted to put 2 stone on just to annoy him 😂

Original poster
Username1233 · 10/10/2023 21:46

Thanks ladies for your comments. I sat down with DP this evening and we have a really good chat. He genuinely didn't realise how insensitive his comments were, and how they made me feel (which I truly believe).

It probably helped that I asked for some opinions on here before I spoken with him. It gave me a chance to decrease my anger, and actually have a calm head to articulate exactly what I wanted to say, and needed to get across.

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 11/10/2023 02:21

HowToSaveAWife · 10/10/2023 20:26

"I'm not sure who the fuck you think you're talking to because it's definitely not the woman who has grown, birthed and fed your children from her own body. And a wonder it was considering you're a limp dicked miserable twat who seems to have got the notion that my body is for his perusal. I must say dear bollix that I admire your confidence to even have the nerve to think of any comment or criticism of my anatomy with a hairline/gut/droopy gusset/micro penis like that."

I would absolutely let rage reign.

Also: LTC. Have upgraded LTB, he deserves it.

Love it.

lala66 · 11/10/2023 09:37

Probably the odd one out here, but I wouldn’t be offended, as long as he wasn’t putting you down when you had the extra weight. Maybe he was trying to pay you a compliment for loosing the baby weight so quickly?

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