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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uncaring mother

12 replies

Batshitcrazy007 · 10/10/2023 13:02

Aibu I don’t think I am but possibly
my dad passed away 2 weeks ago my mum (parents split 20years ago) hasn’t so much as sent a text I popped to see her couple of days after it happened she didn’t ask how I was just complaining about how she’s been to see the GP as she’s been unwell no contact now for 10 days and think I will now leave her to it she’s not been much of a parent in the past but this has for some reason made me angry!!

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 10/10/2023 13:09

I’m sorry that she didn’t ask, it’s the obvious thing to do.
Is there any way she might be grieving the life that she could have had with him ?

Octobermeterreadtime · 10/10/2023 13:12

If there marriage wasn't great maybe she is going through some mixed emotions right now. My exh died.. I never really asked after dc as I was re traumatised by his very existence and his death was like a huge black cloud had lifted. Sorry for your loss op.. I know it feels all about you right now but it isn't.... No dig intended.

MatildaTheCat · 10/10/2023 13:15

Thats very unkind to you but it sounds as if she has closed that section of her life away and is acting as if he didn’t exist.

Im really sorry for your loss but you honestly need to look elsewhere for support, you aren’t going to get it from her. My mother has been really odd around my DF’s death and they were happily married. She’s never offered any of us, her DC any support or empathy at all. I feel like she just can’t and have accepted that.

Original poster
Batshitcrazy007 · 10/10/2023 13:16

No they where friends and saw each other at family functions she moved on a married somebody else.

OP posts:
Original poster
Batshitcrazy007 · 10/10/2023 13:18

Tbh she’s never been the maternal mother so not sure why it’s bothering me so much but grief is a funny thing

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 10/10/2023 13:24

Batshitcrazy007 · 10/10/2023 13:18

Tbh she’s never been the maternal mother so not sure why it’s bothering me so much but grief is a funny thing

Remember your last 5 words. Your emotions will be all over the place. Keep your distance while you're grieving, and don't make any irrevocable decisions for at least a few months, preferably longer.

Quitelikeit · 10/10/2023 13:25

I think it’s very sad that she has not acknowledged this to you.

Honestly some folk don’t deserve the title of mother

Original poster
Batshitcrazy007 · 16/01/2024 18:12

Never really got the chance to make things right and this chews me up my mum passed away in November I sat with my siblings and held her hand as she passed from pneumonia 😢 life is so short

OP posts:
WristCandy · 16/01/2024 23:30

Oh, that's so sad, @Batshitcrazy007. I'm sorry. That's a lot of loss in such a short time, Flowers

Original poster
Batshitcrazy007 · 17/01/2024 13:30

Thank you just unbelievable really 💔

OP posts:
Happilyobtuse · 17/01/2024 13:39

My condolences to you! Take care!

MatildaTheCat · 17/01/2024 14:03

I’m very sorry to read that. I hope you have good support for yourself and take time to grieve.

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