Worrying about Son 3 year old being Autistic

[WorriedMama92]

I have always had a bit of a worry at the back of my head.
He has a few random traits that makes me wonder if there is something...

He dribbles alot sometimes,
he is still in a nappy,
He doesn't call people by their names...its like he can't hold that information..so he calls them girl, boy, lady etc.
He is fascinated with cause and effect...like how wheels spin, watching water come out of the tap into the sink, was so excited watching waves come in and out at the beach, tightening his fists and moving legs whilst he was standing (almost like stimming)
He is bright and knows colours, numbers and some letters
He can be very emotional and shows us if he is happy (he is very excited and hyper) and if he is sad..doesn't get his own way (he can kick, hit, cry, scream)
He will apologies and knows he has done something to hurt us though.
He doesn't share and isn't great at waiting his turn.
Some of this has been bought up at his Nursery and he is one of the youngest in his class.
He is an only child too and doesn't have many children his own age in the family, so not used to having to share.

I just feel like sometimes when I take him out or see him with other children he seems different to them, he is very sociable and will say hello to anyone and likes to try to play with children at the park or when we are out (likes older children)
Nursery also mentioned he prefers adult company to children's.
So when I have googled any of these things...it leads back to autism 🫣
Has anyone got any stories of their toddlers at this age...

The only thing I can say is yes, there are definitely a few autistic traits in your post. It could be something or it could be nothing. Sometimes it’s really hard at this age to differentiate between a typical awkward preschooler behaviour and autism.

Sometimes you need to watch and wait until they’re older, because only then are autistic traits more obvious.

My son was diagnosed at 5 and I can honestly tell you, by that point there was no sadness, only relief to have it confirmed. But I had to go on a long journey of acceptance to get to that point. I desperately clung to any sign that pointed away from autism. I delayed getting in the system because I was just waiting for him to grow out of certain behaviours and for his speech to catch up with his peers.

My main advice is if nursery recommend taking things further, don’t refuse. No good comes from sticking your head in the sand.

@Jellycats4life what were the traits you noticed in your son?

if you are worried, see the GP to request a referral.

Btw, a lot of the things you listed are just 'normal' behaviours/skills of a three year old and have nothing to do with autism at all.

To be honest there’s not much point in describing his traits because they won’t be relevant to your child, if you see what I mean? You could read what I say, decide that your son isn’t like that and therefore he can’t be autistic. I know that because I would have done the same.

His main issue was speech delay, only having language to “label” things like letters, numbers, shapes, etc. He didn’t really display many stereotypical traits like flapping or toe walking, or lining things up. Mainly I just knew he was different.

My daughter was diagnosed later and presented with quite precocious speech. Despite everything we’re told about autism in films, there are so many different presentations.

Have nursery suggested a referral etc?
Take whatever they are willing to offer.
Would he benefit from some 1-2-1 at nursery? (They can apply for funding)

It's such a big spectrum, my son had similar traits to yours with afew more and he wasn't diagnosed by peads.
This doesn't mean he won't be diagnosed if afew year but right now, no.

I do feel the same regarding my son being different to other kids when out. And at first honestly I used to cry. As he's grown up, and understands the world abit more I suppose he's starting to mix and enjoy.

Nappies, my son got on the toilet at the very last minute before starting school. It literally just clicked.

The only things really mentioned at Nursery were he needs to work in sharing and taking turns and dealing with emotions as they are always very big emotions whether that be he is happy or he is sad/having a tantrum and he cries, hits etc....which she said he will apologies.
And we can be spoken to and will call down.
She also said he enjoys adult company more than children's.
Nothing has been said about referral yet as he has only been there about 3 weeks

I said would ask to set up a TAF meeting with your HV and nursery.
These helped me a lot, in terms of understanding what was happening at nursery, what I needed to do, what help we needed etc and a general catch up of how he's getting on.
You can talk about your worries and take things further if needed.

Agree with above. My son had a number of traits, speech social and emotional. We saw hv and speech and language who referred him to paediatrician. He went on pathway at 28 m, and was diagnosed a year later. This made accessing funding at school and applying for ehcp much more straightforward. He needed 1:1 so he was able to access that support straight away. It is scary to navigate but better to have professionals observe him and know where you stand.

I'm a special needs teacher (early years and primary) and agree that you are right to think autism is a possibility. Referral routes vary according to area but the nursery SENCo might know, or try your GP.