Hi,
Dh is a very stoic man. I have never seen him cry in all our years together. I have seen him angry during arguments between us but never any other time or any other emotion in any part of our life. I don't expect theatrics or drama but just sometimes it would be nice to feel like he was moved by something or feel like my emotions are not misplaced. I think this is the thing that makes me feel the worst about it, I'm a passionate person and I show emotion often, when something has happened I go to him and I could be crying or jumping for joy and I get nothing back.
When things have negatively affected our dc he turns a blind eye each and every time. It's always me who is expressing upset or anger about it and consequently it's always me who is the one dealing with the issue or having to have difficult conversations with people. He always says he doesn't see the issue or he has not realised. For example we have had some issues at an extra curricular event for a dc which has been very unfair and upsetting, I spoke to dh about it and I approached the teachers, dh just said he didn't realise it was happening or didn't see it. The thing is he can't be oblivious to anything beyond his nose. When both me and dc showed upset about this particular situation he didn't say or do anything.
Another example is my dc had poor mental health as a result of bullying and after she had gone to bed one night I began to cry about it. I asked DH why it didn't bother him that dc was so unwell and experiencing this bullying and he said he didn't see it or know about it and there is nothing he can do. He didn't offer to ring school or try to resolve the issue in any way. I have to deal with all difficulties on my own even when dh knows I will be upset or for example have to go to challenging meetings alone.
It's the same for positive emotions and situations too. If me or dc have achieved something or something good has happened there is little acknowledgment or even a smile as a result.
I understand people avoid conflict or difficulty but he says he doesn't know about anything that may be wrong in our dc lives. I asked how he can be so blind to our dc pain and he didn't have an answer. It feels like he does know but can't be bothered to deal with it so pretends he doesn't know.
Everyone would describe him as laid back practically horizontal and that's true but is there a thing where someone is too laid back it's actually not a good thing? It certainly feels that way to me. Its like he is in a permanent state of being stoned.