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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what you would do

21 replies

Thisisnotlikehim · 10/10/2023 07:36

Posting here for traffic which I know makes me unreasonable. New name but LTP. Been around for Pom bear, Mexican house thief and I’d know how to get my laundry darked on

DH has felt ill since Sat. He is drinking fine and managing to eat very small amounts. He has stomach cramps and nausea. This morning he has now said he has palpitations and mild breathless too. He’s notorious for not seeking medical advice. Negative Covid test.

Should I press him to call 111 or am I worrying unnecessarily?

OP posts:

Original poster

Thisisnotlikehim · 10/10/2023 07:37

He’s 50.

OP posts:

LammasEve · 10/10/2023 07:39

111, at least - might be nothing, but better to get some advice especially if he's breathless and has palpitations.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/10/2023 07:40

I don't think I'd take any further action at this point, he doesn't sound acutely unwell.

BittIeLastard · 10/10/2023 07:42

Yeah 111. Better to be safe.

icelollycraving · 10/10/2023 07:44

No. Doesn’t sound anything dramatic and he is an adult.

OdeToBarney · 10/10/2023 07:46

It won't do any harm to speak to 111 or your GP.

Brefugee · 10/10/2023 07:47

he can call 111 or the GP. Make him do it. Tell him there is no tiptoeing around him, you expect him to be fully functional if he doesn't take care of his own health into his own hands.

He is a grown man and this isn't impossible for him.

Pottomous2 · 10/10/2023 07:47

Do what you think. Call 111 - there is no stupid question about health concerns.

Aprilx · 10/10/2023 07:51

I think most people can feel a bit under the weather for a couple of days. I am not well myself and also just tested negative for covid, I was sure it would be positive as DH has covid at the moment and I have all the symptoms. Anyway I think I will stay at home and I am sure I will be feeling better soon. I cannot imagine ringing 111 at the first sniffle, cough or even slightly upset tummy!

Original poster

Thisisnotlikehim · 10/10/2023 07:52

Thanks all. Useful to see the balance between ‘it’s nothing’ and get it checked out. I’ll tell him to call 111. I’ve suggested it but haven’t been more firm about it.

OP posts:

BittIeLastard · 10/10/2023 07:56

Palpitations and breathless and comments saying I couldn't imagine ringing 111 at the first sniffle. Typical MN.

BaffledOnceAgain · 10/10/2023 08:02

BittIeLastard · 10/10/2023 07:56

Palpitations and breathless and comments saying I couldn't imagine ringing 111 at the first sniffle. Typical MN.

Yes, absolutely this! I'm assuming the previous posters all think palpitations and breathlessness are normal symptoms?! I've never had palpitations when poorly and that's all I needed to hear in this thread.

In case it gets the OP's husband to actually go to the GP and look after himself, I told DH 10 years ago, "Get yourself to the GP. We need you alive and well." He died 4 days later, aged 39.

I can't imagine ever telling someone I'd never met not to seek medical help with worsening symptoms and palpitations and breathlessness. I say get him seen. 111 will likely send an ambulance. If you feel he's not at that stage yet, agree to take him in yourself or get him straight down to the GP.

WillowCraft · 10/10/2023 08:08

I would ring your GP rather than 111 but we have a good GP and useless 111 in this area.

Never wrong to seek medical advice if concerned. His symptoms have persisted over 48 hours so he's given it chance to improve on its own

Thanksforreading · 10/10/2023 08:24

You had me at mild breathlessness, hope you can get him to call 111, could be lots of different reasons but best to seek medical attention early and tell him to not play it down! Say it as it is!

BerriesNutsConkers · 10/10/2023 08:59

He is deteriorating and now has some breathlessness and palpitations. If it were my husband I would be insisting he get medical advice today.
A dad at my child's school collapsed at home and died 2 days ago aged 44.

Rosebud21 · 10/10/2023 09:20

Take him to an emergency department (not a walk-in centre). If he's deteriorated since you posted call 999. He needs initial ECGs, a chest x-ray and blood tests.

BaffledOnceAgain · 11/10/2023 23:22

Thisisnotlikehim · 10/10/2023 07:52

Thanks all. Useful to see the balance between ‘it’s nothing’ and get it checked out. I’ll tell him to call 111. I’ve suggested it but haven’t been more firm about it.

How is your DH?

Original poster

Thisisnotlikehim · 15/10/2023 20:04

BaffledOnceAgain thanks for asking. Much improved. Up and about a bit more. He did call 111 who gave him some advice. I would like him to have an ECG so 111 said if still having the palpitations to see GP tomorrow so I’ll remind him. Like lots of men he tends to not seek medical help until his leg his hanging off!!

OP posts:

BaffledOnceAgain · 16/10/2023 11:08

I'm glad he us feeling better. An ECG is a good idea though and can be done at the GP surgery.

Hbh17 · 16/10/2023 11:13

I am always baffled by these people who "tell" their partner what to do. I mean, you can maybe float a suggestion, but a competent adult can make their own decision, doesn't matter whether anyone else agrees with them or not.

Original poster

Thisisnotlikehim · 16/10/2023 20:43

Hbh17 Did I say I’d tell him what to do? If I did then that’s not what I meant. It will be a reminder of what 111 nurse said. Men in relationships live longer, partly because their partner gets them to seek medical input. It’s a well known fact that men tend not to seek medical help until it’s dire. So I will remind him. For all the right reasons. If you have a partner that you care about who tends not to seek medical help then I imagine you’d do that too?

OP posts:

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