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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Night work leaving kids alone

37 replies

Rachellilllian · 10/10/2023 06:53

I have just started a job, it’s a live in position at a school as a nurse. I’m on call at night, so occasionally at night will in the medical centre seeing emergencies overnight. I live in the med centre and I’m a single mum and there is only one other person who lives here with her little boy, it’s a really safe and secure building and I feel comfortable with this. The normal scenario is the poorly kid will be brought to me but very occasionally I may have to pop to a boarding house, maybe a fall downstairs or I had a kid with a sore knee a few weeks ago who couldn’t make it across to me. This makes me anxious to leave my kids, they are 9&11. The lady who lives in the building with me, is a friend and is happy to keep an ear out. I took this job so I could do school runs and have the holidays off and I know in a few years it will be fine. What do people think? I did think I could buy a cheap mobile to leave out for the kids should I need to nip out and they wake.
I stress it’s very rare for me to have to leave the building and I’m literally in the campus across the road but it’s causing me anxiety. I start at 8pm and mine are generally asleep but 8.30-9.. and this has been an amazing job in terms of being a single parent as I’m around every day generally. Thoughts or ideas welcome

OP posts:

Yajebbend · 10/10/2023 06:55

I would it’s a secure building. As long as I could contact them if going through be longer

jeaux90 · 10/10/2023 06:57

Single mum here too OP. I think it's fine. I'm paranoid so I'd probably set up a webcam/app just in case etc but sounds secure and ok.

BarbDwyerHair · 10/10/2023 06:57

What about a walkie talkie? I thought you were going to say they were tiny children.

Howmanysleepsnow · 10/10/2023 06:57

I would, given it’s a secure building with another adult present for emergencies.

PriOn1 · 10/10/2023 06:58

Is the lady who lives in the building close enough that she’d hear them?

Is she in the same job so it’s a reciprocal arrangement?

If she’s close enough and it’s fine with her, I think I’d be okay with it. I would probably try to prepare my children for what to do if they wake and you’re not there, and additionally give some consideration as to what to do in an emergency, but if it happens very rarely, there won’t be many occasions before your children reach an age when they are much more independent anyway.

PandyMoanyMum · 10/10/2023 06:59

As long as your friend is in the same building and your kids know that she can help then it isn’t any different to having a babysitter. A phone for them would be good too.

Original poster

Rachellilllian · 10/10/2023 06:59

That’s a good idea. I did then when my dog was a puppy

OP posts:

PuttingDownRoots · 10/10/2023 07:01

I'm guessing this is in a boarding school?

Its probably a lot safer than the average house with security, fire suppression systems etc.

Original poster

Rachellilllian · 10/10/2023 07:01

It’s a weird building. But there is an interconnecting door near our flats for emergencies, so she would hear. She is a teacher so no but she is more than happy to listen out and leave her door open too.

OP posts:

Warum · 10/10/2023 07:02

@Rachellilllian I am in two minds - I don't necessarily think you're doing anything wrong, but I would also feel slightly uneasy leaving my own youngish children to tend to others. I hope you find a solution you feel works for you.

Original poster

Rachellilllian · 10/10/2023 07:03

Yes boarding and there are smoke fire detectors in every single room. The ground floor can be alarmed overnight too, as that’s all med centre. There is onsite security too

OP posts:

user1492757084 · 10/10/2023 07:04

Sounds perfect.
You could investigate an alarm type app like door bell, walkie talkies. or tracking tiles for your kids wrists. But nothing will happen. It sounds perfect.

Original poster

Rachellilllian · 10/10/2023 07:05

Yes I have just ordered a really simple Nokia and SIM card that I can place somewhere if I get a call.

OP posts:

Yourebeingtooloud · 10/10/2023 07:05

I think I’d invest in a decent Walkie talkie. Prep the dc on what to do if they wake up & you’re not there. Leave it in their room & they can contact you if needed.

Reality is chances of anything happening are very small but it would just give me added peace of mind.

Mariposista · 10/10/2023 07:08

Absolutely fine OP. And good for you, this is a very important job.

Hallmark1234 · 10/10/2023 07:09

I echo what everyone else says. It's unlikely a problem will occur, but install a camera (really cheap, we have one for our pet) and a simple phone should they wake with a problem and I assume you'll be able to get to them very quickly.

nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 07:10

They are old enough to be able to ring if there's a problem or shout for the other lady and especially as there's two of them. So eg if one is unwell or has a nightmare the other can call for help. I think it's fine as they are a bit older now.

FrenchandSaunders · 10/10/2023 07:11

At that age and those circumstances, I wouldn’t worry at all OP.

arintingly · 10/10/2023 07:15

Is the other lady always there? What if she was away or out for the evening?

Lastchancechica · 10/10/2023 07:24

I am extremely cautious and I would be fine with this. It’s the occasional one off. There is a friend available in the same building. They are in a very secure location and at that age perfectly capable of letting your friend know ( ie not young children) This arrangement is perfectly safe op, and it sounds like a brilliant job for all of you.

BogRollBOGOF · 10/10/2023 07:24

Mine are marginally older and I don't leave them when asleep because I don't trust that they'd wake up to our domestic smoke alarm.

This is a different set up with higher quality fire control systems and checks than a domestic house. When I was a student, there was a late-night kitchen fire in one of the other flats, and the fire doors kept it well contained- one student was found sound asleep and unharmed in his bed having drunkenly slept through the whole thing.

Your employer has recruited you (with your children) into this living arrangement so must be satisfied that it falls within their safeguarding responsibilities.

theduchessofspork · 10/10/2023 07:25

I would just have a reciprocal arrangement, that they bang on her door if they need anything (and you leave a note on the table for them) - given she’s next door in a secure building that’s no different from a babysitter.

Assuming they are a normally able 11 and 9 that should be fine, but if you’re still anxious you could have a reciprocal agreement that you wake her so she knows they might knock, and/or leave them with a walkie talkie.

Lastchancechica · 10/10/2023 07:26

If you lived on a large country estate you wouldn’t think twice about feeding the horses etc it’s no different.

BringItOnxxx · 10/10/2023 07:31

Get one of these cameras. You can see what's happening on your phone and also get a movement trigger .https://www.amazon.co.uk/introducing-blink-mini-compact-indoor-plug-in-smart-security-camera-1080-hd-video-motion-detection-works-with-alexa/dp/B07X37DT9M?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1&psc=1
Give them the mobile with easy dial to you.
Would your colleague be OK if you gave her a heads up you were heading out (depending on the time)?

Otherwise is sounds like a brilliant set up!

Humbugg · 10/10/2023 07:32

Sounds fine to me with the adult available and new mobile phone

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