To ask my colleague for direct feedback

chatenoire · 2023-10-10T04:18:27+00:00

A colleague complained about me but I'm still unsure what the complaint was about. I was sick with COVID and super tired, so I wasn't fully functioning. The complaint came back via my manager BTW. Who then told me off (via email) and then told me 'no worries" over slack so just trying to understand what's the actual issue.

Zola1 · 10/10/2023 05:21

I'd go back to your manager personally and ask for clarity

Shoxfordian · 10/10/2023 05:23

Doesn’t the email make it clear what it was?

Original poster

chatenoire · 10/10/2023 05:25

Shoxfordian · 10/10/2023 05:23

Doesn’t the email make it clear what it was?

Not really because my manager thought it was about an existing client (when it was about a new client) so different processes.

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Shoxfordian · 10/10/2023 05:26

Ask your manager in your next one to one then or just leave it and move on if things seem ok now

Basilton · 10/10/2023 05:30

No don’t ask your colleague. If you didn’t understand you should have asked your manager when they contacted you. Not sure there is any point bringing it back up now.

Original poster

chatenoire · 10/10/2023 05:32

Shoxfordian · 10/10/2023 05:26

Ask your manager in your next one to one then or just leave it and move on if things seem ok now

I don't have 1:1s BUT we do have an internal call to review some of these processes. Which in itself won't be easy because the guy who "created" that piece of software has his own vision and my colleagues over here have a different one. I side with the creator, but that's by the by.

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Original poster

chatenoire · 10/10/2023 05:34

Basilton · 10/10/2023 05:30

No don’t ask your colleague. If you didn’t understand you should have asked your manager when they contacted you. Not sure there is any point bringing it back up now.

BUT I did ask. And she told me not to worry about it (after she told me off or vice versa I can't remember).

I only heard about this complaint yesterday so it's still fresh.

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Original poster

chatenoire · 10/10/2023 07:09

bump

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nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 07:12

The appropriate thing is to ask your manager for some more details. It was raised via them. So just drop and email and say you'd like a bit more detail to help your learning. Manager should absolutely be giving this to you. If manager rhinks complaint is not valid then they should tell you that too

Original poster

chatenoire · 10/10/2023 07:34

nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 07:12

The appropriate thing is to ask your manager for some more details. It was raised via them. So just drop and email and say you'd like a bit more detail to help your learning. Manager should absolutely be giving this to you. If manager rhinks complaint is not valid then they should tell you that too

But I've already tried! And she gave me completely different messages

One telling me off (when it wasn't necessarily relevant because she misunderstood some of the context)

And the second time (or first time who knows! They're all within mins/hours) told me to not worry about it.

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nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 09:29

OP but the second reply was telling you not to worry and you are worrying. So you either need to accept her statement ie nothing to worry about and there's no repercussions for you. Or you write back and say to her "sorry but I am a bit confused as I just don't understand what the complaint is about so please can you elaborate a bit more. I appreciate you've told me not to worry but it would help my personal development if I can understand what the issue was in the first place".

Original poster

chatenoire · 10/10/2023 11:02

nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 09:29

OP but the second reply was telling you not to worry and you are worrying. So you either need to accept her statement ie nothing to worry about and there's no repercussions for you. Or you write back and say to her "sorry but I am a bit confused as I just don't understand what the complaint is about so please can you elaborate a bit more. I appreciate you've told me not to worry but it would help my personal development if I can understand what the issue was in the first place".

Yes, and I just checked the time stamps, and the most recent one is the "not to worry".

I however do have an irrational fear of being made redundant.

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nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 11:25

@chatenoire they can't make you redundant for this sort of thing ! Please don't worry!

Original poster

chatenoire · 10/10/2023 11:49

nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 11:25

@chatenoire they can't make you redundant for this sort of thing ! Please don't worry!

Yes I know! But after being made redundant (out of nowhere) after seven years of service and going through a divorce and then, a few years later after only 6 months the day I signed the contract for my current home -- I've just become paranoid

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nibblessquibbles · 10/10/2023 11:59

@chatenoire totally understandable! I honestly think though you'd be making it into a bigger deal if you approach your colleague. So save the "don't worry" email and try not to worry!