In thinking I’m not liked at all at my job and am being pushed out the door.

[totallyfedup]

I’ve been in my current job 5 years. When I started they were desperate to have someone full time and I only worked 3 days a week at that time so I said I would do 4 days for them. However as the first year went on I ended up doing the full week and did so for the next 3 years. My contract was only ever for the 3 days but I was told there would always be extra days for me. I had my ups and downs in the role, it’s a stressful professional career type job.

However, I had been working there about 3 and a half years a colleague was returning from mat leave and wanted to reduce her days to 3 as well and it would make sense for us to job share a role. Around this time there were two full time posts available so I was told the only way I would have a full time role for the upcoming year would be to apply for one of the full time positions so myself and another colleague applied for them (she had been there a year, me over 3 and a bit), none of us got them. I was so upset it was embarrassing working there and not getting the role but I felt on well I’m rubbish at interviews then. At feedback I was informed the successful candidates were far more experienced than me. One took lots of time off and lasted 4 months, the other was off quite a lot too with job related stress. The irony was I was then asked to step up to full time to cover their absences!

Then they recruited again and now I am back to 3 days again but with the lowest job there is. No one else gets shipped about like I do.

I just get the feeling now that no one rates me, I have been off sick the past month for the first time ever and none of my colleagues have reached out and even asked how I am after working there this amount of time. I’m fed up of the sly little comments and digs about me doing nothing and being a part-timer now.

I would look for something else but the job market isn’t great right now. I feel so undervalued and frozen out.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so low OP. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to let this damage your confidence. If you were incapable you wouldn’t have been able to cover the open roles. Did you go for the job again during the second round of recruitment?

Your feelings are completely valid but perhaps if you focus on what you can change you might feel more confident about changing jobs. I’ve always found it helpful to have a competency/ skills matrix for roles. You can then ask your manager to help you assess yourself against each competency you need to work on to be promoted and plan your development accordingly. Once you’ve improved in any identified areas you can either apply again or apply elsewhere.

I wouldn’t worry about your colleagues, not contacting you. When people are off sick, they should be left in peace.

Apply for new jobs. There are lots out there. Will far likely be better than this one.

From what you've said, you never seem to stand your ground. If you're not experienced enough for the role they turned you down for, no way should you be covering for their bad choices unless you're getting the full pay and contract. Not your pay grade - not your problem.
But honestly, I can't think of anywhere I've ever worked where colleagues checked in on each other when they were ill, unless they were close friends who saw each other socially. It's intrusive to bother others when they're ill.

@MCOut no I didn’t even bother going for the job again I couldn’t face the humiliation. The people interviewing well one of them has known me 5 years the others a few years and I have to work with them everyday.

Loads of people said to me I was never going to get the job anyway as with the other colleague coming back we made a nice little job share grouping. If I had gotten the full time job they would have had to find someone for the 3 days a week post and that would have been difficult plus I was introduced as already in the job share before the interviews had taken place. I don’t want to go into details too much. One of the interviewers said to us “don’t worry ladies if you don’t get it you still have your permanent jobs here which at the time I thought was an odd thing to say”

@Millybob you’re probably right I’m a people pleaser by nature and I like to help out as it’s very vulnerable people we work with too. Plus there is the added fact that I was used to a full time salary for 3 years then suddenly had to go to 3/5s of that. (Unbeknown to them I had always accounted for that and any money made over my 3/5s went straight into savings so we never got used to it as it could have been taken away at any time) but I often thought suppose I was relying on it? To work the extra days benefitted me and they knew it, I don’t do it anymore though.

@Cola2023 its not that easy my job is very niche and specialised not many jobs out there in the location as well. I keep looking though.

Based on the info in your op I would say it’s also possibly the opposite. You are utterly dependable and flexible and from a company and HR perspective people like you are like gold dust. A bad company culture wants to keep people like you in a position where they can utilise this. A good company culture is one where they want to develop you. This culture is clearly the bad kind but not because they don’t like you. I can’t say regarding the individuals there but obviously you are valuable to them.
The trick is now to make them realise that they will lose you unless they develop you. Look up a course you fancy, I would have a meeting with your line manager and ask to be put on the course. This will give them the idea you need and want input and also create an idea that you will look further afield unless they do it. It’s a sideways way of going about the end game - a better job.

The company culture sounds a mess, I would quietly start looking elsewhere.

Honestly, OP, while they don’t sound like good employers, I think you need to take responsibility for the extent to which your passivity and people-pleasing ways have contributed to this situation. The people you work with may be vulnerable, but your employers are not, and vulnerable people are not helped by you allowing yourself to be exploited. Take control of your working life and stop confusing it with ‘being liked’.