To give dd13 advice on friends ?

8 replies

Beasty50 · 09/10/2023 22:39

Do you do this? Sometimes I have and it’s gone wrong. Worried if I try and over steer it could lead her to do wrongZ recently she has started speaking to a boy she likes, I think he’s being a bit of an idiot, it likes it all his way. Then I remember they are 13.

leave them to it and be there for her
or continue to be a tad too over involved and give unasked for advice ?

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TrailingLoellia · 09/10/2023 22:40

leave them to it but monitor and keep communicating with DD. Let her know you are there for a chat, and only give advice if she asks.

Hankunamatata · 09/10/2023 22:41

I wouldn't give her advice. I would be having open conversations about coercive control, self respect, healthy boundaries

TheBeesKnee · 09/10/2023 22:42

I think you can give broad advice but don't get too involved in the details.

Friendships are built and broken in the blink of an eye at that age.

I do think dating is different though, what exactly are your concerns there?

Thanksforreading · 09/10/2023 22:51

I feel for you, it’s super tough being a mother and trying to be a friend to a teenager daughter!
Try and listen, give an open ear, less opinions and an open mind!
Hormones are always high, friendships are either wonder and fantastic or into ex best friends very quickly.
Boys is a tricky one, why do you think this particular boy is an idiot? Do they go school together?

Original poster

Beasty50 · 09/10/2023 23:21

I think that she is too quick to answer this boy - he dumped her suddenly then woudknt speak to her and now she is just happy that he speaks to her but he’s deliberately playing around with her! I think any her to just ignore him.
I know they are only 13 though so I guess this is par for the course and quite normal

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Original poster

Beasty50 · 09/10/2023 23:23

1 week he was all over her calling and being nice
the next week she’s dumped
then this week he’s talking to her not being horrible as such but not being nice
if he was an adult I’d say it was love bombing then taking it away! But keep reminding myself he is 13

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Thanksforreading · 09/10/2023 23:29

@Beasty50 i can totally see why you think he’s an idiot! And the sad thing is there is no reasoning with a 13 year old, because everything negative you say has a massive impact or rebound to what she might do. I can’t speak for your daughter but this was definitely one of my daughters (aged 16&2)
sounds early, but contraception and sex talks are to be spoken.

Original poster

Beasty50 · 10/10/2023 07:10

That’s c it she won’t hear anything slightly negative about him! But I don’t want her being continually hurt every day just cos he’s looking to boost his ego

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