To ask for your help with stress incontinence?

[nopainnogain1]

I’m 43 and have four children, the youngest of which is just approaching his second birthday.
I used to exercise and enjoy wearing clothing that showed off my figure. I still have a body that I’m relatively proud of, but I hide under baggy clothing because I’ve had to stop exercising. Every time I run or lift or stress my body in any way I leak urine.
I had a terrible birth with my third and had to be reconstructed vaginally. My fourth baby just exacerbated things.
This is beginning to ruin my life actually, it’s affecting my confidence and my relationship so much. Any tips please, or just solidarity so I don’t feel so alone.
Wearing a tampon definitely helps curb the leaking but it’s not a permanent fix to the problem. ☹️

Gp appointment for an examination.
Specialist practice nurse who will advise.
Physio referral for exercises.
Cut down on caffiene and other bladder irritants.
Bladder and Bowel UK....bbuk.org.uk for infk and support.
You are not alone and the help is out there.
Keep your chin up.
X

follow @Gussiegrips on twitter, she puts out funny and interesteing reminders to do the exercises. She's a specialist physio and says if they don't work to see your GP.

See your GP and if you can afford it a women’s health physio. GP referred me but they said I needed to have the problem for a year before I could go on the wait list. Paid for a “Mummy MOT” - best money I ever spent.

There's a Scottish pelvic physo who raises awareness about this and gives some really good advice on what you can do physo wise (whilst you wait for your referral). I should say that she uses comedy to put women at ease. She goes by gusset gripper (sp) online, sorry I can't remember her name I think it's Elaine something

Yes pelvic floor therapy.

They teach you different way to do kegel exercises and also other stretches as everything in there is connected.

Also sometimes there are medications that help, so GP visit too.

Yabu

.. oh and I forgot about Elaine Miller.. gussetgrippers.co.uk.. she is brilliant!

Thank you all. Tonight I'm so depressed by the problem. I did the school run earlier and another dog attacked my dog so I had to intervene. Consequently I pissed myself, but as I had to collect my young children I had to carry on. It was mortifying.
Tampons do really help but I don't want to keep wearing them when I'm already entering a phase in my life where I'm starting to experience dryness.

HRT sorted mine out (I'm 40 and 2 kids)

Definitely pelvic floor strengthening exercises-have to be done a few times a day and take a while to work but they do work. Also kegal balls. If you Google all these things to get started but get GP to refer to women’s health physio too

As a practical solution whilst you investigate the pelvic floor excersises, there is a company called Modibody and another called Cheeky Wipes who do period pants and also ones for stress incontinence too. I am sure there are other equally good ones, but I have used these 2 companies to buy period underwear and swimwear for my daughter.
I really rate them, they are not bulky and my daughter loves them... So much so she wants to wear them when she doesn't have her period! They are relatively pricey, but worth it for peace of mind of not leaking I think. I think there is a discount code for the first order too...

I did actually end up at A&E after baby 4 was born. Something was physically protruding. I believe it was my bladder but I was fobbed off and sent home, told it would improve. Which it has, massively. Nothing protrudes and everything feels normal....but why am I still leaking? I've been fobbed off at every turn by the NHS. It's your age, that's what happens when you've had 4 vaginal births. 😥 It's so depressing.

I've been pelvic floor exercising like a maniac since baby number one was born, such was the shock in musculature.
My vagina is tight. I can grip my finger tightly. It's something else going on here? I think my bladder had fallen forward but no one cares.

Buy a Perifit. It tells you whether you are doing the exercises correctly (it’s quite easy to use the wrong muscles).

Stop wearing tampons and wear pads instead. If it’s only a few drips, pantyliners will be enough. Wear them more forward than you’d do for a period.

If you’re getting dryness, tell the GP. It’s a different orifice but you can assume your bladder/urethra will be suffering too, and that will make it more sensitive irritants like caffeine. Oestrogen cream sorts the dryness problem.

No need to feel embarrassed - somewhere between 30% and 50% of women have the problem.

You need a referral to gynae for assessment. I sympathize, I am older (nearly 50) but suffer terribly and it is awful. I once wet myself to an incident and had to carry on, didn’t have any spare trousers. I was mortified, had to steal a pull up pad from my ward and felt like I was rustling as I walked all day🫣 I do have a prolapse, have had a radical hysterectomy and previous vault prolapse surgery so my pelvic floor is a mess and years of running did not help at all.

Practical tip, I wear washable incontinence pads. I prefer them to the knickers. There are various different brands, most companies do them for urine and menstruation and I usually buy ones for heavy flow. They help me feel secure and more confident to run in an emergency.

Definitely see your GP. Sounds like a vaginal prolapse that is pressing on your bladder.

They can recommend exercises and if warranted, fit a ring pessary that holds everything up so it doesn’t press on your bladder

Try going over to decaffeinated tea and coffee, cutting down alcohol, avoiding hot chocolate, and avoid anything else with caffeine. Do it for a fortnight and see if it had an effect.

And see a GP and ask for a referral to the genitourinary dept.

Tena makes pads for all sizes from very small ones up to large that take in easily over a full bladder. Nothing to be ashamed they work very good and you will stay totally dry.

I have urge incontinence so basically when have to go have to go. At home or where bathrooms are near - no problem, but if somewhere away must find bathroom in few minutes or thats it.

@Doyouthinktheyknow
Can you recommend any particular brands of washable pads? I tried some a while ago which were layers of fleece material with wings that fixed with poppers under your pants gusset, and they were rubbish. They just moved around and I ended up with wet clothes.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bloom-Nora-Eco-Friendly-Quick-Drying-Watercolour/dp/B09CTV8GKH/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=1YJDAN1RHMZ81&keywords=bloom+and+nora+reusable+sanitary+pads&qid=1697220611&sprefix=bloom+and+no%2Caps%2C94&sr=8-4

Sorry for the long link, I’ve forgotten how to sort it 🤣

These are the ones I find most comfortable, Bloom and Nora. They do smaller ones but I find them less comfortable and they are more likely to move. Longer ones are definitely better, they are more absorbent and don’t move.

I also bought some others which are like reusable versions of the chunky pads you used to get on the 80’s. Not nearly as comfortable and weird patterned fabric.

HRT and vaginal oestrogen has made some difference to me - it’s not completely cured it but it’s made it a bit better. Ovestin is better than Vagifem as you can apply it externally as well as internally.

I experienced stress incontinence after my pregnancy too. The thing that worked best for me was getting a course of femitight and lift done. I got it done at a clinic called ef medispa in london and it reduced my symptoms massively - the best thing about it was that it completely non invasive too. I would highly recommend if you're still struggling.

Does your local NHS trust have a self referral department? Google Bowel and Bladder service and your NHS area and hopefully you can find a service local to you.

I was fobbed off by my GP many times, then discovered I could refer myself to a specialist. I'm pleased I did as the nurse discovered I have a very weak pelvic floor and a slight bladder prolapse. I've been put on regular pelvic floor exercises and they loaned me a tens machine with an internal probe which has been helping.

It does take time though. The nurse said imagine if you want to do bicep curls. You wouldn't go and lift the heaviest dumbbell and expect to do several reps. You'd need to start on light weights and build up to that. It's the same with this muscle and you need a period of time and many reps to build it back up again.

In the mean time, you can download the NHS Squeezy app. There was a small fee for it, but you can set it up to ping at you several times a day to remind you to do a set of squeezes. I find that useful as I'd forget to do them otherwise.