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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my GP to care just a tiny bit how unwell I am??

129 replies

TiredOfCovid · 09/10/2023 18:54

I’m mid 30s and have been suffering with long covid / b12 issues and now possibly fibromyalgia for 2 years.

The GPs just don’t seem to care.

I cried in the room today saying how much pain I am in, that I’m going to lose my job if I take any more time off sick, that I’ve got children I need to look after and there must be something that can be done - medication, anything?

She told me she had a stressful morning as couldn’t get her computer to work, said sometimes antidepressants help with long covid, offered no explanation of why my body isn’t absorbing b12 normally and said I’ll have to have injections monthly for the rest of my life and sent me on my way.

NO compassion at all - surely they should care just a tiny bit / pretend to?

OP posts:
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fifteenfifty · 09/10/2023 18:57

I'm so sorry. That's awful. Yes they should care. Mine is always caring. It's one of these jobs that however tired you are, you HAVE to care.

Could you switch GP? You need to take action and that GP is not going to do it for you. Sending a hug.

Original poster
TiredOfCovid · 09/10/2023 18:59

Thank you I will try

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 09/10/2023 19:19

My GP's answer to everything, including fibro, is exercise. Literally anything you have - exercise.

I'd get a second opinion and / or change GPs / make a formal complaint.

There is no treatment for fibro, no. But there are treatments that can help.

I went private, got fully diagnosed and prescribed amitriptyline which my GP then took over prescribing. They're not for everyone but I've found that taking them 12-13 hours before you need to get up, works the best. Expect to be a bit out of it for the first few days. I couldn't be without it now.

MidnightOnceMore · 09/10/2023 19:22

They should care.

Thing is some are uncaring and some are genuinely burnt out and their own GP and employers aren't helping them.

I've started to be selective about who I see.

I'm so sad for both patients and GPs, it's a mess (largely of the government's making).

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/10/2023 19:25

In fairness there is something that can be done - antidepressants and B12 injections. That is what she can offer, and she offered it.

It would be nice to feel that medical staff genuinely care, but I have never felt that they do, and I imagine they would be paralysed and unable to do their jobs if they did. That are generally worse with chronic conditions too.

TheCuckoo · 09/10/2023 19:26

Can you see someone else in the same practice? Our local practice is very hit and miss - some GPs don't care one jot, others are fab. It takes a while to get the good ones (who are then always busy).

Take the B12 injections though. Game-changing for me.

TemporarilyshyAF · 09/10/2023 19:28

So sorry you're feeling so low and yes, of course you deserve compassion and understanding but even though it's part of the job it's possible to get it wrong so please don't take it as her not wanting to help. She's offered antidepressants and b12 injections which seems like a considered solution so she has done her best even if it didn't come across great. Hope they help 💐

SecretVictoria · 09/10/2023 19:30

MidnightOnceMore · 09/10/2023 19:22

They should care.

Thing is some are uncaring and some are genuinely burnt out and their own GP and employers aren't helping them.

I've started to be selective about who I see.

I'm so sad for both patients and GPs, it's a mess (largely of the government's making).

The government can be blamed for a lot of things. Individual attitudes of GPs isn’t one of them.

maddening · 09/10/2023 19:34

With Gps now you need to get as much info about what they should be testing for and questions to ask etc and nice guidelines and nhs direct info and go.and keep asking the questions and requesting they keep looking for an explanation/diagnosis etc and make sure you know what summary they are making from the appointment, you defo have to drive it these days imo.

ElderMillenials · 09/10/2023 19:47

As harsh as it sounds, they don't have time. GPS need to see you, treat/prescribe/refer, type up notes and see the next patient as fast as possible. To do that they can't be getting in depth about every patients feelings.
You were offered the appropriate treatment options, you can seek therapy/counselling if you feel that would help you- i understand CBT and talking therapy can be helpful for treating fibromyalgia.

Soontobe60 · 09/10/2023 19:58

You’ve posted about this before. Your GP asked you to try anti depressants for a while. You won’t. I don’t think going back to your GP today will give you a different answer.

vapesareforsnakes · 09/10/2023 19:59

That is not good enough, not good enough at all.

curtaintwitcher78 · 09/10/2023 20:03

So sorry you've not been given the attention you need. If its any consolation, the B12 injections will make a massive difference if you have them every month. If you also eat/drink plenty of high potassium foods to help your body utilise the B12 you will start to see some recovery shortly. B12 deficiency is the root cause of a surprising number of debilitating symptoms.

Poudretteite · 09/10/2023 20:07

It's awful but GPs are just shit for problems like this. You should be referred to a specialist. I had ME for years and it's scared me off seeing GPs for life with how I was treated and made to feel.

Original poster
TiredOfCovid · 09/10/2023 20:09

I should have added I have been on the antidepressants like she suggested and it made no difference
By medication I meant pain relief as I’m in constant agony

The b12 injections have made no difference and they don’t seem to care why I’ve suddenly got no instritic factor to absorb the b12 when surely this doesn’t just randomly happen

OP posts:
AmiablePedant · 09/10/2023 20:09

I'm not in the UK. My appointments with my GP are scheduled to last 20 minutes. From what I gather (but correct me if I am wrong), NHS GPs are only allowed to give 10 minutes to each patient. It is perhaps not surprising that on occasion they're rushed, exhausted, burned out, whatever (and yeah, there'll be some bad apples as well). But huge generalizations about ALL medical professionals are not terribly helpful when the infrastructure is so fragile.

EllaPaella · 09/10/2023 20:12

Have you been checked for pernicious anaemia?

curtaintwitcher78 · 09/10/2023 20:13

It's not always possible to get to the bottom of a malabsorption problem, with B12 it's best not to waste time looking at why as it's very common with a multitude of reasons. Just keep getting the injections. It can take time for it to start to repair the damage.

marketing101 · 09/10/2023 20:18

How do you rest and manage stress?

Octavia64 · 09/10/2023 20:23

The anti-depressants if you are taking them for fibro are actually intended for pain relief.

In some people when you take them it results in the nerves being "turned down" and the pain isn't as bad.

Different ones work for different people - I have used amytriptyline in the past and am now on duloxetine.

It may be worth trying a different one as it really is just a question of suck it and see until you find one that works for you.

And yes, in my experience doctors don't care about chronic pain.

Goldencup · 09/10/2023 20:24

TiredOfCovid · 09/10/2023 20:09

I should have added I have been on the antidepressants like she suggested and it made no difference
By medication I meant pain relief as I’m in constant agony

The b12 injections have made no difference and they don’t seem to care why I’ve suddenly got no instritic factor to absorb the b12 when surely this doesn’t just randomly happen

Just to say, actually it does I know 2 women who developed B12 deficiency seemily out of nowhere.

My money is on some sort of gut inflammation maybe secondary to UPFs but I really don't know.

Taking analgesics for fibro is a tricky one, an awful lot of people end up on amitrityline or gabapentin long term- neither are great.

What else have you tried ?

Weepingskies · 09/10/2023 20:26

Your GP has 10 minutes to see you and that includes the time taken to type up your notes at the end of your appointment.
It sounds as though she suggested two interventions to help you - antidepressants and B12 injections. Antidepressants are actually pretty effective in chronic pain and neuropathic pain and don’t have the same problems of addiction and side effects that you get with opioid analgesics. B12 injections are likely to help you a lot and it is fairly standard not to look for an underlying cause.

it sounds to me like she does care - certainly enough to come up with a reasonable management plan for now.

MintJulia · 09/10/2023 20:34

The best thing your gp can do is advise you calmly and accurately. He or she doesn't need to get more involved.

They have maybe 10 minutes allocated to each patient. S/he needs to keep you calm, provide the best advice possible and then get on to the next patient. There is no time available for people to sit and cry. That's not what the appointment is for.

I know that sounds hard but they are dealing with a massive backlog and too few resources.

Is there a support group who will help you?

betwelve · 09/10/2023 20:37

TBH you're very lucky to have got monthly B12, that's very hard to get. I had a thread on B12 deficiency where people posted lots of advice, I'll try and find it for you. It did boil down to "that's just how it is", though, but did help me come to terms with that.