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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Adam Kay might have read a book instead, or come to Mumsnet?

57 replies

Graciebobcat · 09/10/2023 15:44

Social media hides reality of parenthood, says writer and comedian.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-66779460

I mean to a degree, nothing can really prepare you for having children, but some books I read while I was pregnant certainly helped and some social media was very helpful indeed.

Adam Kay

Adam Kay: Social media hides reality of parenthood, says writer and comedian

"I'm the idiot who failed to realise the realities," says the author of This is Going to Hurt.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-66779460

OP posts:
Polkadotsaplenty · 09/10/2023 17:38

He can afford (probably more women) folk to help raise them I guess. I'm getting crosser and crosser at this.

Cattenberg · 09/10/2023 17:54

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 09/10/2023 16:13

Yeah, the four months apart thing seems obscenely badly planned, frankly.

Also, I'm surprised that he opted for surrogacy, having such a good understanding of what it means to a woman to go through pregnancy and childbirth. I've gone off him a little, knowing he did that (twice).

Yes, that surprised me too. He once wrote, “there’s no such thing as a non-traumatic vaginal delivery”.

Woman2023 · 09/10/2023 17:57

"Having read his book I think his disrespect and disregard for women shone through, so it didn’t really lower my opinion any further."

Spot on.

Saschka · 09/10/2023 18:14

I wanted to like him, as I had sympathy with any junior doctor who burns out and leaves the profession. He came across as a massive tosser in his book, but that is classic “trainee in difficulty” stuff - it’s a defence mechanism (a very maladaptive one, as it makes your bosses and colleagues think you are a twat instead of helping you).

But now? What excuse does he have for being a tosser now? None unfortunately - this is obviously just who he is.

CesareBorgia · 09/10/2023 18:19

Just another minor celeb jumping on the 'I've got babies - look at me!' bandwagon.

It's not exactly news that babies need feeding overnight, and vomit, poo etc. - it certainly shouldn't be news for someone who trained and practised as a doctor.

SoIinvictus · 09/10/2023 18:21

shockeditellyou · 09/10/2023 17:04

He’s a misogynistic twat who buys people.

👏👏👏

AnneWhittle · 09/10/2023 18:27

he would hardly come here would he, I mean what could he possibly learn from US ?

fearfuloffluff · 09/10/2023 18:29

I can see why he might have thought that being a doctor would mean the sleep deprivation would be less of a factor because you got through all those night shifts. But it's different when it's 24/7 and wakes you up.

My mind blows at the idea of a newborn and a 4mo. It was at least 18mo before another baby seemed like a good idea.

Fizbosshoes · 09/10/2023 18:35

Considering he must be very intelligent and well educated (since he's a dr) and has experience of newborn babies it slightly beggars belief that he was ignorant that they cry/sleep/feed and poo a lot 24 hours a day, and not always at a time convenient for the parent.

To be clear the sleep deprivation was a lot worse than i anticipated and not much can properly prepare you for parenthood but I certainly wasn't expecting a baby that slept all night.
And having twins in my family I know how hard work twins are but he and his DH specifically chose to have 2 babies at the same time!

(However he's not the first parent of a surrogate baby I've seen to complain that their baby doesn't fit conveniently into their lifestyle)

explainthistomeplease · 09/10/2023 18:35

Oh well. At least he doesn't have sore stitches or cracked nipples or a ton of weight to lose on top of the awful nights. Could be worse Adam. You be an actual woman who's given birth.

FrillyGoatFluff · 09/10/2023 18:37

How do you know he's not on Mumsnet? Perfect place to gather material for his books/comedy surely?

Goldencup · 09/10/2023 18:41

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 09/10/2023 16:04

I'd have thought parenthood would be a walk in the park after all of those shifts as a junior doctor!

This was certainly my experience, but I went straight from one to the other without the intervening 13 years of pleasing himself writing and performing.

Also there is this thing called pregnancy which helps prepare you for getting up at night and this other thing called breast feeding which helps you get back to sleep.

Can't think how Adam would know that though....

YokoOnosBigHat · 09/10/2023 18:48

I've always found him very funny since back in the Amateur Transplants days, but this statement has made him look like a right knobhead tbh.

Namddf · 09/10/2023 18:56

Catleveltired · 09/10/2023 16:50

Nothing is true until a MAN says it. Don't we all know that?

Especially when a man who has bought two children says it's true.

He could not have had more choice over this situation. I simply cannot find any fucks to give him at all.

💯 this.

Namddf · 09/10/2023 19:05

This is exactly the sort of lazy, clickbait journalism I hate and have come to expect from the likes of the BBC and the Times.

Here’s how it goes:

Adam Kay has a show to promote so agrees to be interviewed by a BBC journalist. During the conversation the journalist asks about his young babies and Adam answers with a glib, un-thought through answer about how much harder parenthood is than he expected.

Journalist takes these thin, inconsequential quotes and frames them to look like Kay is making a considered point about the way parenthood is portrayed on social media. These points coming from a woman wouldn’t have been noted at all.

What he says is wildly inaccurate, throwaway and misinformed, yet the BBC publishes the article with the most provocative headline they can think of.

SoIinvictus · 09/10/2023 19:59

Yes, we mustn't take Kay out of context.
So let's be fair to him and remind ourselves of some of the songs he enjoyed performing in his younger days.

"Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might fuck one
And end up getting aids

There's nothing fun
To be found off the M1
Northern birds are lower class
Slags who take it up the arse

They're in the sack
After one cider and black
But they're fucking awful rides
and your dick won't touch the sides"

Or there's the one about "the menstrual rag" which always goes down a treat from a supposed gynaecologist.

This foul excuse of a human being crossed a line years ago with his woman hating bile. That he now buys babies comes as no surprise tbf. You kind of think nothing else he does could repulse you further, but then he always proves you wrong!

lljkk · 09/10/2023 20:04

I like Kay. I do believe he starts the comments saying he's been daft.

Americano75 · 09/10/2023 20:49

SoIinvictus · 09/10/2023 19:59

Yes, we mustn't take Kay out of context.
So let's be fair to him and remind ourselves of some of the songs he enjoyed performing in his younger days.

"Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might fuck one
And end up getting aids

There's nothing fun
To be found off the M1
Northern birds are lower class
Slags who take it up the arse

They're in the sack
After one cider and black
But they're fucking awful rides
and your dick won't touch the sides"

Or there's the one about "the menstrual rag" which always goes down a treat from a supposed gynaecologist.

This foul excuse of a human being crossed a line years ago with his woman hating bile. That he now buys babies comes as no surprise tbf. You kind of think nothing else he does could repulse you further, but then he always proves you wrong!

Fuck me, what a raging cunt.

explainthistomeplease · 09/10/2023 22:37

Ew @SoIinvictus when and in what context was that awful verse penned and performed?

Conkersinautumn · 09/10/2023 22:41

Shocker the miserable grump who hates humanity doesn't enjoy something else now. He's consistent I guess.

SoIinvictus · 09/10/2023 22:55

explainthistomeplease · 09/10/2023 22:37

Ew @SoIinvictus when and in what context was that awful verse penned and performed?

When he was in the "comedy" duo with his med school colleague. Edinburgh Fringe performances and all.

He excuses it (and other, far worse ones- there are foot tapping little numbers about elderly women with UTIs, sex workers with STDs and a woman pregnant with a child who has Downs Syndrome) by saying it was 20 years ago, although they last performed just before his first book came out.

His official discography etc and wiki page only list more anodyne shit he performed and apparently the more disgusting songs have been removed from YT etc at Kay's own request. If you're hard of stomach the lyrics are on Google.

So I like to remind people of what a monster he is, lest we forget.

sittinginacafe · 09/10/2023 22:59

Drunk on stage at his own show…

YokoOnosBigHat · 09/10/2023 23:22

In his defence is hilarious and the lyrics to 'Medical School Finance' (to the tune of 'Son of a Preacher Man') are pretty funny:

I applied for a student grant
But the girl in the office said I can't
It's all based on your parents wages
We haven't given a grant in ages
The only student who got one of those
His daddy delivered for Dominoes

Yeh the only boy who got any funding
Was the son of a pizza man
Yeh the only boy who got any money
Was the son of a pizza man, Yes he was
He was. Oh yes he was

YokoOnosBigHat · 09/10/2023 23:24

But I'm guilty as sin, I saw the ATs loads, including at the IndigO2 when they did a big gig in about 2010. I was just in the circles with those uni bods back then. But I did find them very funny. Sorry Blush

Nongatron · 09/10/2023 23:30

Loathsome man I detest him. Feel sorry for the babies.