More help needed for self harming children *TW*

[meisafairy]

Over summer my child has self harmed, over 50 or so cuts to wrists.
Thankfully not deep.
I spotted this by the fact hoodies being worn on hot days.
Starting secondary was the trigger.
I’ve tried every avenue for help and my child is on Camhs wait list, school aware. Though as child is autistic Camhs has stated conventional therapies probably won’t work.

I recently reached out to three of my close friends I’ve known over 15 years to share my upset and worries.

All three have been through similar with their children.
I’m aware not every child does this cry for help, but a lot do and there is a very broken system of camhs with massive wait lists and not much help bar a crisis team number.

Whilst sat with child we saw an old school friends TikTok celebrating 2 months no self harming.

What on earth is happening to these children to do something which could have fatal consequences.

We have all heard the cases of teen suicides.

Am I missing the prevention campaign?

It's a sad trend and definitely worsening. I feel deeply for you both. As the adoptive parent of a child saved from difficult circumstances who self-harmed at an early age, my only advice would be to put them first no matter what. There are so many people and pressures out there making us feel as if we must do this or that but at the end of the day you know your child and only you can give them whatever they need. Everything else can take a back seat or jump in a lake.

It isn't a trend. I was a self harming teenager 25 years ago. It is what many people do adults or children do when they feel high levels of distress.

My advice would be to talk to your child about why they are doing it and try and address those issues. Also to talk about cutting safety and wound care safety. Make sure they have access to a decent first aid kit and know how to dress and take care of wounds and know when they need to seek medical treatment. Don't be mad. Dont go and search their room for their cutting equipment (it will just mean they harm in more dangerous ways)

I know it feels scary but it's very very unlikely your child would accidentally kill themselves self harming especially if they are cutting superficially.

I self harmed because I was in serious distress, was bullied at school and noone stepped in. Cutting made me feel calm. It wasn't a cry for help. It just made me feel better

Establish if there is anything happening in your child's life you can address such as bullying. What is it about the start of secondary school do you think have triggered it? If you are not getting anywhere with cahms can you access a private therapist for them?