Friendship dynamics

[Hatethisdrama]

Ok, I’ll keep this short. In a friend group of 3, is it acceptable for 2 of the friends to meet up now again on their own?

I’ve a friend who thinks we should all meet up or none! It’s quite suffocating and it’s really getting to me now. She sulks if I meet the other friend on my own, even though they meet up quite frequently when Im at work.
Am I being unreasonable to want to meet one of them occasionally instead of both. Im closer to the other df and sometimes want to talk to her on my own. I’ve never really met the this df on her own but we don’t have as much in common.

I don’t want to exclude her but just not have to meet in a threesome all the time.

AIBU?

So they meet without you, but you’re not allowed to meet up with just one? Nope!

She doesn’t get to control your movements and plans. Bizarre.

I meet up with two friends regularly, but there have been times when I have seen them individually. If they meet up without me I wouldn't have a problem. Your friend sounds very childish.

@AtrociousCircumstance it does feel very controlling and I can see the anger in her when she knows we’ve met up without her. It doesn’t even happen that often, but we did meet up last week and she’s still off after it. Very moody and just plain difficult to be around.

@Mothership4two yes, I think that sounds healthy and how it should be.
I can’t understand how she thinks she control us like this. I’m going to have to talk calmly to her and be honest with her. I’ve already distanced myself a bit from her, which I know she’s picking up on too, so it’s time to be honest and open with her.

I have a friend line this too op and have backed right away. She gets so jealous if l meet up with our other friend who has no backbone so l look like the bad guy if l ever call her out. Even though mutual friend completely agrees with me. Can't be bothered any more.

@Justrolledmyeyesoutloud I’m
on the verge of just backing right off too. I’ve definitely distanced myself from her over the past 12 months and I’m sure this is fuelling things.
I’m going to have a calm talk with her about it and if nothing improves after that, I’m gone. If a partner treated me this way, I’d be long gone! Time for change. Thank you.

In our group of 4 we meet whoever whenever, often all of us, often some, no one ever mentions it because we are not controlling or insecure. It’s a her problem. Sad really because she’s fueling her own friendship demise.

It's possible she is controlling or insecure.

It's possible that she has had negative experiences with friendship groups in the past - exclusion of someone by a group is a very common thing, and probably normally happens with meetings of the larger group taking place behind the back of the excluded individual - you see it on here a lot where someone talks about being excluded from a group - possibly she had some experiences at school/earlier in life that affected her deeply and now affect her behaviour.

Maybe you can talk to her about this by asking, or maybe you can find a way of reassuring her about these issues, that is, if you think the friendship is worth saving.

As those Instagram reels remind us the behaviour is enough, we don’t need to know the intention behind it or the reason for it. Just pull away to the level you can deal with the behaviour.

She's definitely controlling, given that she does it herself - it's just other people who aren't allowed to ...
I don't think that's a good characteristic in a friend OP.

Me and my twin have a mutual BF from school, we all meet up together and sometimes separately. I think the difference for me would be if I felt excluded. Like I had nothing to do ie wasn't as work and they just met up without me. Not to say they can't but I would feel sad if they did l.