I have just left a 3 year abusive relationship

[Wintervibez3]

For the past three years I’ve been in a relationship with someone I believed loved me. It started off with pushing, name calling and constantly degrading me and putting me down. We have broken up and got together a good few times in the past after him cheating on me and then me stupidly believing that he’ll change but he never did. The past couple of months it’s been indescribable, he would start arguments most mornings if I tried to wake him or ask him to help around the house. The arguments would result in him attacking me, biting me to the point it breaks my skin, stamping on my face again and again, full force kicks to the stomach and the ribs. Strangling me on so many occasions to the point my neck was left bruised and I couldn’t move it. Yesterday I had to contact the police as he just was not stopping attacking me even on the street.

my heart is broken and I can not think straight I can’t eat I can’t sleep I feel so lost. I know I can never go back now and I think that’s what hurts the most as one point he was my best friend but I don’t know who he is anymore. My mental health has been declining over the months, people around me have known bits about what was happening but never to the full extent. Last night I just lost it and broke down crying and screaming I’ve hit my window which resulted in the glass breaking and cutting my wrist which now has a big gaping gash in it and my hand is all cut.

I have came to my mums because I think I am having a mental breakdown. She hasn’t exactly said for me to go back home but she’s hinted towards it but I really do not want to be alone right now as my heads a dark place. I don’t have any friends and I feel like everyone’s sick of me. Can anyone recommend me any help I can’t try to get as I am really not okay.

he keeps trying to tell me he’s going to change but I’ve heard it all before I know he will not and I can’t do that relationship anymore as much as it hurts me I can’t. I’m psychically in pain, I have bruises and bite marks all over my body he strangled me my ribs are bruised and my stomach hurts every time I do try to eat or drink. After all that happened I went to work after and I’ve been non stop since I feel like I’ve been going on auto piolet and now everything is just coming crashing down. Please any advice

Well done for leaving. That is such a hard thing to do. I left my abusive husband after 20 years. DASU (local Welsh version of women's aid) were fantastic. It took me a couple if weeks to summon the courage to talk to them. I phoned them up, burst in to tears and they saw me half an hour later. They have been so supportive and caring.

So sorry to hear you’ve been through the same, I think I’m still in denial a bit that this has actually happened. Everything was fine one minute and in the next breathe it has come to this I honestly feel like I’ve just had my heart ripped out over the course of 48 hours. We have a woman’s aid near where I live so I think I might be able to give them call and see if they can help me or get someone to work alongside me.

Oh gosh. That is horrific. Well done for leaving. Do NOT go home. If you need somewhere else to recuperate make sure you do it. You can do this and you're worth so much more. Sending love

I understand that feeling. I made the decision to leave in August but only got away a couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have done it without the support if DASU so well done for being brave enough to walk away on your own. Do ask women's aid for support. They have given me not just emotional support but alarms and a safety plan, offers of counselling etc.

First of all, well done for leaving OP! You've taken the first step to a better life. The fact that your Mother has hinted you should go back, perhaps gives you a clue as to why you've put up with this sort of treatment for as long as you have. You say you gashed your hand when you broke the window, does it need stitches? If so, get yourself down to A&E, and get that fixed. Chances are that you can talk to someone there and get advice as to who to contact for support. If not, then get to your doctor tomorrow, tell them it's an emergency when you call, so that they have to see you. Then tell the GP what has happened to you, and how desperately stressed and upset you're feeling. I would also be making an official complaint to the police, and have him prosecuted. Whatever you do PLEASE DO NOT go back, whatever he promises. The fact that you are aware of a Women's Aid close to you, is a good thing, so if you don't want to go to the doctor, you could always start there, but personally from what you've said, I think a GP should be your first port of call to get yourself checked out. I feel sure you'll get good advice from people with more experience of what you've been through than I have OP, but in the meantime, I'm sending your a GREAT BIG virtual hug, and hope you get all the support you need in order to finally get rid of this evil bastard!! Please come back to MN as often as you need to, rather than feeling alone in all this, there are lots of us out here who are only to happy to lend an ear and offer help and advice.

If you can get yourself to A and E. get your wounds looked at and if you can tell them something. anything. Doesn’t have to be the whole story. Show them this. They will help you. You deserve more than this. You are amazing for leaving. Stay strong this is the hardest time.

How are you doing today @Wintervibez3 ?
Hoping you are staying strong and not going back.

OP, please come back and let us know how you are, and if you've managed to get help from your GP, Women's Aid, etc.

Hope you're OK?