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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about not added to the group?

19 replies

Ljosie · 08/10/2023 20:29

My boyfriend has a family WhatsApp group including parents, sibling and spouses.
We are not married but been together for 5 years.
I’m not added to the group and it’s a sore spot. I’ve brought it up before but was told that there is always rubbish posted there all the time.
Would you be sad about this?

OP posts:
bossybloss · 08/10/2023 20:31

Yes, I would be upset about this and I would expect my partner to challenge his family over it. There’s not much you can do if they won’t add you though. Good luck! Xx

KajsaKavat · 08/10/2023 20:32

How long have you dated?
I would consider it a blessing not to be in any WhatsApp group personally, they are just a pain, I avoid them unless they are mandatory for work.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 08/10/2023 20:33

My husband has one. The only spouse is his mum's husband

jollyjeffrey · 08/10/2023 20:34

My in laws have a similar group. We've been married years, got kids, will be together til we're old and grey. I've never been invited. My BIL's current girlfriend is on there though... I'm very unbothered.

ChalknCheeseplants · 08/10/2023 20:35

If it makes you feel any better I despised every second of being in a WhatsApp group with my in laws. I finally left it and I honestly don't care if they're angry about it it's such a relief 😂

50lessfat · 08/10/2023 20:35

It wouldn’t bother me WhatsApp groups can be a PITA!

Aquamarine1029 · 08/10/2023 20:37

You should be thrilled. My husband has one with his mum and sisters and I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. We've been married 26+ years.

cryinglaughing · 08/10/2023 20:37

My dh's family has one. Only non direct family member is dsis-in-law.
She annoys all the family by making everything all about her.

I am more than happy to leave them to it.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 08/10/2023 20:57

DH's family have one; all the siblings, parents and adult neices and nephews are in it. DH asked the two admins (two of his brothers) a few times to add me and they haven't. I make just as much effort back Grin

qwerty123454 · 08/10/2023 21:14

My partner added me to their family one and I left it

My side of the family have one and I've muted it

TogetherWeLearn · 08/10/2023 21:17

God no. The less communication with my in-laws the better.

Likewise won’t be adding DH to my family chat.

RingALingADingDong · 08/10/2023 21:20

I'd be glad too, can't be involved in all the petty drama

Aquamarine1029 · 08/10/2023 21:22

Are you sad about the WhatsApp group or the fact that you've been together for five years and he's still just a boyfriend?

girlyjim · 08/10/2023 21:27

Are you close with his family? I'd be upset yes but I'm close with my in laws. We have a couple of what's app groups on the go and I love it!😊

PricklyWhenWet · 08/10/2023 21:44

We both have family WA chats, I’m on his but he’s not in mine because he doesn’t want to be. We chat quite a lot and he’s not interested but tbh I post more on his family chat than he does too so nothing new there.

Elphame · 08/10/2023 21:46

We have one - children's partners ( both very long term) are not included

M4J4 · 08/10/2023 22:01

That is shit.

I hope you’re not sending these people birthday cards and presents etc? Let him sort out all that out himself.

Hankunamatata · 08/10/2023 22:02

Yeah you dodged a bullet

GingerIsBest · 08/10/2023 22:23

I would also be upset about this.

DH and I had been married for 6 years when I discovered my MIL didn't actually have my phone number. I was really upset.

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