To think what this shop assistant said to my DD was weird.

[Lumeevme]

My DD is 4 and we nipped into a local one stop last night and as we’re leaving a male shop assistant said to her ‘don’t you want to stay here for the night’ she said ‘NO’ firmly and got upset and he said ‘why not? There’s lots of sweets here and things to eat’ is this weird or am I over thinking?

This 100% - you've saved me some typing.

Seriously? She's 4 and saying "no" is throwing a tantrum? Ffs. Most 4 year olds aren't great at picking up on adult irony and jokes, so she probably thought he meant it. Ffs.

@Lumeevme

im surprised your 4 year old took it seriously and got upset tbh

Plenty of children can pick up on adult humour so I certainly wouldn't say 'most'.

It does help if they have parents who actually understand humour though.

No, she was grizzling to begin with, not in response to the joking.

I agree with you OP, it was a slightly odd remark. To have a reaction to an odd remark doesn't mean you are going to post it on facebook! some ridiculous comments on this thread!

At least you know your daughter didn't just say ''oh yes I'd stay with a strange man just cos there are sweets''.

Just log the comment. Ykwim. Don't mind people mocking you. It's not like there is a real shortage of inappropriate behaviour and predators out there. So while you don't have to do anything, note the comment and don't talk yourself out of having a slightly alarmed reaction to it.

It was obviously a joke, but it’s a stupid one because nobody should be saying that to four year olds. Children of that age don’t necessarily know that an adult doesn’t mean what they say.

It's not like there's a real shortage of paranoia either.

No, so it's the parent's job to help teach them.

Not sure how the OP is going to be able to do this, when she can't see an obvious joke if it slapped her round the face.

Some peeps on MN will always find something to overthink, whinge about, sob and shake over or just be completely twatty about.
Let the trivial stuff go and get on with life.

It's not like there is a real shortage of inappropriate behaviour and predators out there
Absolutely, but this isn't one of them, so... what's your point, exactly?

Weird, probably his idea of a joke, but I wouldn't like it. Who in their right mind makes "jokes" to children they don't know, about staying overnight somewhere?

um, the point is, we weren't there. The OP was and she found it an odd comment. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't but the absolute pile on here, one would think that predators and groomers didn't exist. Best to just remember how the comment made you feel OP. We are often shamed out of our intuition.

Is this seriously as traumatic as your day gets?

You're overthinking, totally! It was a joke albeit delivered in a slightly odd manner. He meant no harm, I'm sure. Christ, people dare not say a word these days!

Let's hope no-one pretends to catch her DC's nose.

OP will end up calling 101 to report the theft 🤦‍♀️

😂

it’s a joke.

It sounds like he was trying to make light of a young kid possibly making ( a mild!) scene and get her to listen to her mum.

sounds like he was just trying to hasten her departure- partly to help you. Partly to get a whiny kid out of his shop, so he could have some peace.

( am sure your daughter is lovely btw, but sounds like she was having a moment)

TBH I wouldn't think anything of it. I mean if he was trying to do something sinister he wouldn't have asked in front of you would he?

But he obviously wasn’t being serious was he?

Deffo a paedo OP. Report him to everybody

It was just his sense of humour.
It won't be long before people will be too scared to say anything to anyone.

I’m clearly in the minority here for thinking that this isn’t something people should be saying to young children, and adults should know better. Yes we can all see it’s a joke ffs, but it’s this kind of shit that sets girls up for a lifetime of excuses for creepy men saying creepy things to them, things that women post on MN all the time because they don’t know whether their discomfort is valid. Every time, in real life as well, she gets told “Aw, he was just being friendly!” “He was just joking!” “You’re being too sensitive!” “You’re overthinking!”

I’m glad you let her speak for herself @Lumeevme . When I was a child, we would have been scolded for being rude, because a child’s politeness to an adult was always more important than the child’s comfort. I would have been laughed at too.

The shop assistant didn't say anything untoward. It's a man though so responses are being taken in that context. It was a joke, could have just as easily been said by a female shop assistant.

Your daughter was rude. She's four though; you aren't. 'No thank you' would be the reply.

It was a throwaway comment to a child who will be ignored next time. Best that nobody interacts with people and especially children. No loss as far as I'm concerned.