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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be stressing out with disorganised ex

4 replies

cadburyegg · 07/10/2023 23:15

I want to preface this by saying I am not particularly organised myself. My house is not tidy and I often look like I've been pulled through a hedge. My kids, however, usually have everything they need. I have the important stuff sorted.

My ex has them every other weekend. He never brings everything back on the Monday. Not a problem if it's one of the kids T-shirts or something I have enough of here. But usually he forgets to take one of their PE kits back in on the Monday which is an issue for DS1 as that's one of his PE days. He didn't put everything back in DS2's kit so on Thursday he was without the jumper and got cold. Over the summer he once sent them into holiday club with a packed lunch consisting of a packet of crisps and an apple because his bread had gone mouldy.

This week I'm stressing because DS1's reading diary is missing and I'm sure it's at ex's flat but ex swears it isn't. It'll probably make an appearance in a month or so. DS2 now comes home every Friday with a scrap of paper with the week's spellings to learn on. No idea what happened to this bit of paper last week.

I am just sick of it. I can't have spellings go missing every other week and essential items not included in the PE kit, that I don't even know about so can't chase up. If I ask ex about things like homework he'll generally deny all knowledge. I've thought about asking the teachers to send spellings via email but I don't want to create more work for them. ARGH.

Help me, I'm stressing 😭 surely I can't be the only parent with this issue.

OP posts:
BananaSlug · 07/10/2023 23:27

How old are they? Can’t they remember this stuff?

UpaladderwatchingTV · 07/10/2023 23:37

If the kids aren't old enough to sort these things themselves, then I think I might be tempted to say that they have to come home from school on Friday and get changed before going to their Father's, and that they should come home on Sunday, to ensure that they have everything they should have before school on Monday. If your ex doesn't want to do this, then he has his answer - get ORGANISED!! It's hardly rocket science, particularly if he only has them EOW.

theduchessofspork · 08/10/2023 00:45

UpaladderwatchingTV · 07/10/2023 23:37

If the kids aren't old enough to sort these things themselves, then I think I might be tempted to say that they have to come home from school on Friday and get changed before going to their Father's, and that they should come home on Sunday, to ensure that they have everything they should have before school on Monday. If your ex doesn't want to do this, then he has his answer - get ORGANISED!! It's hardly rocket science, particularly if he only has them EOW.

Probably this.

Also be clear to the school you are co-parenting and any complaints about stuff on his watch, send firmly to him.

Hankunamatata · 08/10/2023 00:50

It's this kind of stuff that kids get upset about as it's not their fault their dad is rubbish.

I'd replace the reading dairy with own note book and encourage kids to double check what their dad packs. We made little picture list of what they needed to pack each day in their bag and laminated them (my have sen) so they could check their own bag

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