My brother has a diagnosis of aspergers and I suspect he probably has a mild LD aswell. He has 6 kids to two different women. You don't need to tell me how ridiculous that is, I'm usually the one saying it. He is still in a relationship with the second partner, mother of the youngest three.
He works 5 nights a week, including the full weekend, and he is unwilling/unable to change that. I suspect that part is due to his autism. He has never, ever been open to change of any sort. He gets defensive and angry when encouraged to look for alternative employment and will not budge.
He never has his oldest three children overnight citing work, his body clock and therefore how he's "not able to take them to school". So, he only has them over once a week for tea, during which time he spends the whole time stressing out and being irritable because he's overwhelmed, hasn't had enough sleep and needs to be at work again that evening. He virtually never sees them on his own without the younger ones around. It's absolutely shit for the older DC. It sounds like a total circus over there and the DC get nothing out of it at all, other than their tea and DB feeling as though he's 'done his bit', moans all the way back about how he's going to be late for work and then nothing until the next week with more of the same.
I know all of this because it has all been fed back to his ex (who I am still fairly good friends with) via the children.
Rightly or wrongly I had it out with him a few weeks ago which has resulted in me being sworn at and blocked. I have no idea if or when he intends to speak to me again and truth be told I'm not bothered if he doesn't.
In my opinion, his ex wouldn't be unreasonable to tell him that it ends now and she's not putting them through it anymore. Contact should always be for the benefit of the child and I fail to see any benefit here at all and actually think it's more harmful than it is beneficial. It's not even as though mum gets a break in the first place. She does 99.9% of everything herself, with some support from her now partner.
AIBU to think they're probably better off without him?