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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boyfriend

12 replies

Loulou8686 · 07/10/2023 15:41

So I’ve been with my bf for 3 yrs I find it hard he doesn’t say how he feels or so on! I’m very outspoken quite the opposite. I’m starting to think there’s cracks in the relationship and he’s being a bit selfish we argued yesterday he organised a stay over with one of the kids friends but never consulted me first, there was talk of a sleepover but then it was ‘ we will pick them up on the way’ we’re supposed to be going to a theme park for oh d bday, so anyway he arranges it I heard it on the phone so I asked him then he flew off saying he would stay over his mums and so on practically ignored me all evening and today not much exchanged words now I’m feeling like I’m in the wrong 😑

OP posts:

Cakecakecheese · 07/10/2023 16:06

I don't really understand the argument but being with someone who ignores you rather than talking through disagreements isn't much fun so if this happens a lot you should consider if this is the right relationship for you.

Beachwalker66 · 07/10/2023 16:08

No idea what happened here.

Can you try explaining again?

Bluevelvetsofa · 07/10/2023 16:12

No idea what the issue is.

Original poster

Loulou8686 · 07/10/2023 16:19

We had a disagreement over him arranging a sleepover without discussing it with me first I thought we’d agreed that the friend would be picked up on the day of the trip, but he told his daughter otherwise.

OP posts:

Original poster

Loulou8686 · 07/10/2023 16:21

I’m annoyed at him arranging a sleepover without discussing it, when I realised it had been arranged I asked him and he flew off saying if I don’t want them there he will stay over his mums, I said it’s been arranged now so can’t say otherwise he then ignored me all night and we’ve barely spoke today! I just feel peed off

OP posts:

zeibesaffron · 07/10/2023 16:24

Is it your house?
Why can’t they organise a sleepover as it makes total sense if you have a long day planned?!

tiredmama23 · 07/10/2023 17:23

If it's your house it's a shit thing to do to arrange a sleepover without speaking to you. Otherwise, I can't see the issue.

Beachwalker66 · 07/10/2023 17:41

Does he live with you? Do his DC regularly sleep at your house? Do you have your own DC?

Merryoldgoat · 07/10/2023 17:45

Whose child? Where is the sleepover?

I feel like all of the information is there but I can’t quite put it together.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/10/2023 17:49

Whose children? How many are yours? Do you do a lot of the work if they are his? All of these questions are the difference in how unreasonable either of you is.

If he has two children, you do all the work, he organised a sleepover thinking you'd facilitate it? He's an arsehole.

If the children are shared, he does most of the school/friend/house admin and work? You're being unreasonable.

Nagado · 07/10/2023 17:51

I think it depends whose house it is and whether he’s expecting you to sort out extra bedding etc. Because if it’s not just your house and it’s not going to cause you extra work, I’m struggling to see what the problem is.

If his daughter’s friend is coming out with you for the day anyway, how much disruption will it really cause?

UsingChangeofName · 07/10/2023 17:53

The information you haven't given is really confusing the question, so the obvious answer is "it depends".

On a surface level though, it isn't unreasonable for one parent to arrange for a child to sleep over. I didn't need to consult my spouse if that was what was happening with any of my dc.

However, there's lots we don't know about the whole scenario so really difficult for any of us to comment.

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