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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Handing Notice in during Probation

18 replies

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 12:32

Hi I'm in my dream job - admin role, good pay, decent holidays nice colleagues- best paid I've ever had . The only problem I have is I have a micromanager from hell. They are quite good company but blow hot and cold, and not sure they like me and from the very first day kept dangling my probation and saying I might not pass if they didn't think I was a good fit for them personally. I've jumped through all their ever increasing hoops and achieved all their targets in the last few months. And kept a poke ish face with the onslaught of criticisms. However the other day when they were completing part of my probation which is been heavily delayed-they said it wasn't targets(which in good faith I've achieved) but the general feel of our relationship. I stated that they had to be Clear objectives, and you couldn't fail someone because you felt irritated with them. They were in a bad mood and then I snapped and started crying that I couldn't bear to be under so much scrutiny. They showed some sympathy but said they would continue working on my probation, I will fail it as they will use this against me. My question shall I walk from my dream job or brazen it out. My self esteem/mental health is rock bottom since this has happened . I have a patchy c.v so might not find anything else. But it might be better if I walk rather than being pushed? For self esteem and cv?

OP posts:

Glorifried · 07/10/2023 12:34

You're right re objectives, they have to be SMART so you have clear outlines and can succeed.

Is there someone else you can talk to there?

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 12:36

Not really - they are powerful in the organisation. Outwardly very charming and well connected.

OP posts:

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 07/10/2023 12:37

I wouldn’t hand in notice, I would have just walked out. This isn’t somewhere you want to work.

wildwestpioneer · 07/10/2023 12:40

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me a few years ago.

Great job, amazing pay and benefits but the organisation was awful and the people even worse, such a toxic environment. I had a 3 month probation and I had a two week pre booked holiday that was at the end of my probation. I was on the phone with my director at 10pm the night I was due to leave for my holiday, because there was an issue he had caused, and he chucked me under the bus. Halfway through my leave I though 'fuck it' and handed my notice in. I told them as I was on my probation I only had to give them a weeks notice so I wouldn't return after my leave - it was such a relief.

Don't forget probation periods aren't just for the employer, but also the employee, it gives you the opportunity to decide if THEY are for you too. No point my having a wonderful job and pay if it means selling your soul.

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 12:41

I would love to walk out do-but have lots of bills to pay.. worries about being pushed and leaving on bad terms, harder to get another job. And I do like the job- just not the pressure of this probation hanging over me.

OP posts:

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 12:44

@wildwestpioneer That's a good point. Ideally I wanted to stay a year and then find something else anyway. This was meant to be a solid entry level job.

OP posts:

Megifer · 07/10/2023 12:46

Good managers and companies have SMART objectives but they don't have to have them and the harsh truth is people can be dismissed for any reason under 2 years service as long as its not due to discrimination or asserting a stat right.

All you can do is say you have hit the measurable targets they have put in place re outputs, so how can you both work together to improve the relationship, if you're feeling confident enough to do so you have nothing to lose by acknowledging it has been up and down and you don't know why, so it would be good to hear why they think that is.

IME though managers like this don't change. Some are very poor but not awful enough to force the company to do something (again unless its discrimination etc)

Sometimes you do just have to cut your losses and move on sadly.

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 12:47

Professional advice-How do you think I should act towards manager so I can leave on best possible terms? Obviously not being an emotional wreck like previously.

OP posts:

Summer2424 · 07/10/2023 12:54

Hi @shesaysso2015
Your colleagues are nice which is really good. The manager sounds like a nightmare.
Hiring and training someone takes up alot of resources (time, money) so i don't think they would let you go.
I know it's so difficult, but if you can stick it out and stay. However, the minute you feel this is too much and it's affecting your wellbeing, hand your notice in. Hope things workout x

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 12:55

@Megifer yes I think you're right. I just don't want to be pushed. If I wasn't on probation I could def. put up with the behaviour -as the job is so good. I'm dyslexic which I have mentioned to them in passing but not declared as doesn't effect job.

OP posts:

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 13:11

Well actually it may affect my style of working. My results are very good , but it sometimes takes me a bit of time to get it right first time. And then I'm consistently good- a high achiever even. And I don't deal with ambiguities and criticism that well. Mostly due to anxiety as I want to keep my job.

OP posts:

JennyForeigner · 07/10/2023 13:37

Walk away. This is not a situation you can win in, so that the best possible outcome is that you leave and explain that your probation is being endlessly extended on the grounds of who you are. Any relationship in which you are told you will be safe if you just please someone a little more is an abusive one.

I guarantee that your company will have seen it from this manager before. And that over time it will be a very expensive mistake for them to ignore it.

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 13:49

@JennyForeigner Yes they have seen it before - I think they feel they are untouchable . Interestingly they monster a lot of previous employees.

OP posts:

Mooted · 07/10/2023 15:24

How delayed was the probation period? If it wasn't completed reasonably, then you can argue your probation was passed "by default".

It sounds awful.

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 15:45

@Mooted 6 weeks

OP posts:

jenpil · 07/10/2023 16:26

Has your manager been like this to any other current or previous staff?

Original poster

shesaysso2015 · 07/10/2023 16:34

Yes he has - previous staff that he's got rid of-he can be extremely charming though and is generally well liked. He gossips a lot and is secretly extremely critical of lots of people he dislikes.

OP posts:

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 07/10/2023 17:03

To me mental health comes about everything so if the impact on yours is too big, I would leave, no job is worth it.

On the other hand, if you think you can compartmentalise the fact your boss is an ass, continue but request an outline of what you need to demonstrate in the 6 weeks. Get it in writing and make sure that it's measurable and achievable.

Also, how large is the company, of there's opportunities to apply for different roles or your manager is someone who moves every 2/3 years, I would try it out. If it's a small organise with every little opportunity for movement, then start looking elsewhere.

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