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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about my nephew

5 replies

Lewys156 · 07/10/2023 04:52

Hiya all I'm relatively new to this site so hope this is okay to put here. My nephew is 20 and has struggled with depression and anxiety since a young age (around 10/11). He went through a few years of bullying and mental abuse from his now estranged father between the ages of 5 and 8, after his parents divorced. He has been hospitalised 3 times over those years when his depression has got so bad he can't cope (although always of his free will and usually only for a night or two). He has also recieved support from professionals in the past. Although he still has regular suicidal ideations he has been so strong and resilient after going through so much and we are all very proud of him.

The last six weeks though he has began drinking to excess after falling out with a family member he was very close to for a long time. By excess I mean he is buying very very strong vodka online (at over 80% strength) and sometimes getting through half a bottle of it in a couple of nights, he's always liked a drink but only ever once a week etc before. Am I right to be worried or am I being unreasonable, and is there anything I can try to do or will it be seen as interfering with the free will of an adult?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 07/10/2023 06:19

You are right to be worried, this is also suicidal ideation

Try to be very direct with him and encourage him to access mental health services

Bearcub101 · 07/10/2023 09:09

He’s need to access the mental health crisis team, he sounds like he is in crisis

Lewys156 · 07/10/2023 16:46

I agree with you both. He is very low and isolating himself at the minute, refusing help. We feel so helpless

OP posts:
SapphireEyes88 · 07/10/2023 17:32

You are right to be concerned. Isolating himself is also not a good sign. If he's under a mental health team you can talk to them about him (they can't tell you anything, but you can share your concerns) and ask them to reach out to him. Same applies if he's getting support from a charity or organisation.
You could also tell him you're worried about him and suggest to him he seeks support from local services. Unfortunately, if he refuses to engage with services there is very little you can do other than just be there for him.
If at any point you believe he is a danger to himself or others, please call for a ambulance or ask police to do a welfare check.

Lewys156 · 07/10/2023 22:05

He was under mental health services but they signed him off in February stating they "didn't believe he needed their support going forward" and that they couldn't provide anymore for him especially due to underfunding. We were all so frustrated including him

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