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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbour fancies me

47 replies

Choopa · 06/10/2023 21:16

Im having a day dream about my handsome neighbour (and would never act on it under these circumstances).. but do you think my neighbour fancies me?

Basically I got home late tonight and my next door neighbour was raking up all the fallen leaves outside my house in the dark. Apparently everyone who lives in these terraces (we have a green area right outside before road starts) had collectively decided that everyone will do the bit outside their own house and sort out the waste. I had no idea. Its been very busy at work, and Im a single mum of 2 dc.
This neighbour has a drive..No leaves. Yet he was raking mine and carrying huge bags of green waste away. I offered to help and he told me not to worry about it..

Whilst im single, he is not. He is late 40s, married, but no kids. His wife is not a pleasant person at all. Actually quite the opposite. Shouts horrid things at my dc and pets sometimes, never says hello to anyone (not just me) maybe some mh issues who knows.. He is super nice and helpful. Chats and jokes with all neigbours including my dc. I see him all the time. Sometimes twice or three times a day. We dont flirt at all. At all. But he is hot.

I would never get myself involved in something this messy, but im allowed to day dream.. so do you think he fancies me or is he just being friendly?

OP posts:
CountryStore · 06/10/2023 21:22

Maybe he just wanted to get out of the house. Or maybe his wife was distressed by all the leaves being all over the place. Or maybe he does fancy you, its hard to say.

(I think my neighbour does fancy me, but sadly he is not hot and does not do my garden for me)

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 06/10/2023 21:25

You’ve said he’s friendly and chatty with all the neighbours, and you don’t flirt. It’s a big leap to suggest he fancies you because he was taking some leaves.

Its all academic anyway, as he’s married.

Wineocloc · 06/10/2023 21:26

Who knows! He might do, or perhaps he’s just being neighbourly. My dh helps elderly neighbours and occasionally a single mum neighbour with this sort of thing. I never once considered he might fancy them!! He’s just being helpful.

Ive been known to shout at him and our kids, and vice versa. We draw the line and shouting at other people’s kids and pets though 🤣

Glitterybee · 06/10/2023 21:26

I reckon his wife was giving off about you and he decided to sort ‘your leaves’ to get her off his case

Scutterbug · 06/10/2023 21:28

Sounds to me like he was just trying to help.

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 06/10/2023 21:30

It's quite disconcerting to think such a simple neighbourly gesture could be misconstrued like this.

If your leaves don't get cleaned up they'll end up on his drive anyway, so it makes sense to sort them now.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 06/10/2023 21:30

My dh would do this to help our widowed neighbour without even thinking. I wonder if she thinks he fancies her?

Vallmo47 · 06/10/2023 21:31

Whether he does or doesn’t is irrelevant. Just think to yourself he does if it gives you a boost but never forget he’s taken anyway so doesn’t matter.
I’m a bit frustrated that I’m friendly with literally everyone and yet every time it’s a man of a similar age I’m nice to I fancy him or vice versa. I’m just a nice person that is it.

KL06 · 06/10/2023 21:32

This rings a bell, have you posted about this situation before?

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 06/10/2023 21:32

I'm a bit confused as to why you think his wife not being a nice woman is relevant?

AvocadotoastORahouse · 06/10/2023 21:32

I took my neighbours empty bin in today to save it blowing down the road. I hope he doesn't think this means I want to jump on his cock now.

ImthatBoleyngirl · 06/10/2023 21:34

I weed my next door neighbour's small front path because she can never be bothered to do it, and it makes the road look untidy. I definitely do not fancy her!

BrightLightTonight · 06/10/2023 21:35

No - of course he doesn’t fancy you. He is just being neighbourly. Such a shame that good intentions are so badly misinterpreted.

Original poster
Choopa · 06/10/2023 21:39

Thanks for your realistic views 😆 I do wish someone equally hot but single would turn up at my door with a rake.

OP posts:
HenryCavillsWife · 06/10/2023 21:47

I agree. He wanted a reason to get out of his house for a while. It’s Friday night and that’s the night his wife has a pamper evening so she was noisily eating a Muller-Lite while bleaching her moustache.

Original poster
Choopa · 06/10/2023 21:55

@HenryCavillsWife Haha..I dont think she was in though. His house was dark, and i dont know how he even saw anything in the pitch black.
But yes, it must be me who fancies him and not the other way around 😄

OP posts:
Ramalangadingdong · 06/10/2023 22:19

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 06/10/2023 21:32

I'm a bit confused as to why you think his wife not being a nice woman is relevant?

Because if the opportunity for cheating with the neighbour arises all guilt will be eradicated by the mitigating fact of his wife’s unpleasantness.

OldTinHat · 06/10/2023 22:21

Was he working his way up to trimming your bush?

Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 22:22

As a single mum you’re giving them a bad name. Most normal people don’t think any gesture is someone fancying them.

tbh it sounds like he was pissed off you hadn’t raked your leaves. Which makes him a twat too

Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 22:25

And get some self respect and build up your self esteem. You sound like you’re grasping at straws. Someone doing a neighbourly thing isn’t a sign they like you.

Original poster
Choopa · 06/10/2023 23:19

@Boundoverbyacat how exactly am i giving anyone a bad name?! People are allowed to aknowledge someone is attractive whether they are married or not as long as they dont behave inappropriately. Which i dont. Im really awkward at flirting etc and was cheated on by exh, so would never get involved into something like that myself.

OP posts:
Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 23:21

Because you’re jumping on a completely and utterly innocuous thing and asking if your married neighbour fancies single mum you

obje · 06/10/2023 23:24

Choopa · 06/10/2023 23:19

@Boundoverbyacat how exactly am i giving anyone a bad name?! People are allowed to aknowledge someone is attractive whether they are married or not as long as they dont behave inappropriately. Which i dont. Im really awkward at flirting etc and was cheated on by exh, so would never get involved into something like that myself.

So why are you interested in whether he fancies you or not then?

Original poster
Choopa · 06/10/2023 23:27

@Boundoverbyacat Well i don't think its innocuous at all (whatever that means 😄). People fancy each other all the time in all situations without acting on it. Havent you heard?
Besides he only did my leaves and not the neighbours on the other side and was really chatty and friendly. Maybe grasping at straws but theres not much going on in my romantic life and enjoyed the thought. Nothing wrong with it imo

OP posts:
truthhurts23 · 06/10/2023 23:29

have an affair with him OP in the pile of leaves

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