How can I help dd get over rejection

[Icelolly999]

Worried about dd17 who is having a hard time at the moment and has lost interest in college (still going) and her other interests, preferring just to stare at her phone for hours, totally unlike her normal bubbly personality.

Not sure what to do to help and feel a bit powerless and useless. Talking not helping….

Two things have happened in close succession. Firstly, she has not been selected for something she had auditioned for at college, which is her absolute passion (and what she wants to do at uni). Also, all of her friends were selected. She feels left out and is worried she will become socially excluded as this will take up a lot of their spare time. (This is a big worry because she has experienced a horrible time a few years ago being excluded from her high school friendship group and has done so well to find a new lovely group of friends). It has also severely knocked her confidence since the audition especially regarding getting into uni.

Secondly, one of her (male) friends has suddenly stopped talking to her and messaging her and she has no idea why. She was previously in touch with him a lot, at one point I thought they’d probably end up dating as there seemed to be a spark and he seemed very keen but he never asked her out, (and she would never have) and so it settled more into a friendship and they previously went out a lot as friends in a group. This is very unsettling as he suddenly can’t even look at her and looks away when she comes up to try and chat. It’s awkward and upsetting. She thinks he may have a girl that he likes but has no idea why that would affect how he is with her when they aren’t romantically involved.

thanks for reading , I’ve no idea how to help with this. Will it just pass over in time?

Bump

“she has not been selected for something she had auditioned for at college, which is her absolute passion”

Have they definitely received the request? Can they provide feedback as to why not selected?

^ This would be my priority.
The boy🤷🏼‍♀️fickle - who knows. May be someone he fancies more, hurts but it’s fine- let him go. He’ll prob fly back!

My dc are a bit older now but it’s so difficult when they’re finding their way as teens and you think they’re unhappy. You never stop worrying about them do you? I sympathise!

Its really positive that dd confides in you and has shared how she’s feeling. She has you to offload on which is a real positive. Sometimes just listening and sympathising is the best approach.

Perhaps there are local independent (similar) projects she might be able to audition for? I’m assuming some sort of drama group or concert?

Youre right though, she will bounce back from this in time.

With regards to her male friend, is it possible he now has a gf who doesn’t want him talking to dd? Or maybe he does like dd but doesn’t want to tell her. Who knows! A lot of 17 year old lads are really immature and useless at talking about their feelings.

Id concentrate on building her up- emphasising all her great qualities and just giving her some reassurance. It sounds as though her confidence has taken a bit of a knock x

Sounds tough for her but ultimately can build resilience for the future. Agree with the pp about finding a version of this outside of her studies and this will also open up more friendship groups.

I see in your post the same impulse I often feel to want to make everything better for my daughter when she's struggling. The best thing you can do for her is what you're already doing - listening, supporting her emotionally, validating her feelings, showing her unconditional love.