AIBU for telling my "friend" that my husband isn't her concern?

[Empressofall]

100% believe I'm in the right here but you never know.
Context: My husband and I both work full time. Both have stressful jobs.
He has long shifts (10+ hours) but his days off can fall during the week when our child goes to daycare so he has actual time off to do as he pleases (it's just how his shifts work. No shade that our kid isnt at home with him. We still send him so we can keep his place and its fun for him) and I do not. I often bring work home and either work into the night or grab some time during baby's nap time. My "days off" are weekends where I'm 100% in charge of the house and our baby if my husband is working.
My husband is as hands on as he can be in the time that he has.
On to the issue: last night, he came home at around 7.30pm (late for him) and I'd already done grocery shop, laundry, bathtime, bedtime, cleaned the lounge etc. I was pretty tired.
I made dinner. I made breaded chicken (from frozen, like a Birds Eye packet), roasted garlic potatoes and salad. Not really a chore. But somewhat nutritious.
Husband was super grateful and ate it all up.
He then did the dishes.
I was chatting to my friend (let's call her A) about our day and she was appalled that I'd made my husband a "low effort and low quality dinner" and that "making him do the dishes after a long day at work was bitchy and unhelpful". Like... excuse me?! I also worked yesterday. And did 100% of the childcare/housework. I was exhausted. I didn't even ask him to do the dishes. He did them himself because he's an adult who knows how and when to wash dishes.
I told her this.
She told me not to be surprised when he finds someone willing to put more effort into the relationship. More context: A was involved with a married man who left his wife for her, citing that his wife didn't make enough effort. She's paranoid AF that he'll leave if she isn't 100% perfect. Their house is like a fucking show home and every meal is organic from scratch blah blah blah.
I got angry and told her that my husband isn't her concern, that if he leaves me because of a dinner then he's not much of a man. She then said ahe was only telling me "for your own good". I lost my sh1t and told her to f**k off.
Husband says I'm in the right. Another friend agrees with A that I should have put more effort into the meal and offered to do the dishes because husband worked a longer day than I did.
But the way I see it, we both worked so why is his job and work day more important than mine?

If anyone's wondering, I started work at 7am, finished at 3.30pm, did the grocery shop at 4.30pm (after commuting an hour), bathed baby at 6.40pm, put him to bed by 7.20pm and had 10mins to myself before husband came home. I started dinner as soon as he walked in.

Husband started work at 9.30am and got in at 7.30pm meaning he finished at 7pm.

Was I wrong to tell her this? Am I just lazy?
Edit: my husband never EVER expects me or even asks me to cook for him. We have VERY different tastes in food so we often just cook for ourselves because it's easier!

Stop talking to these batshit women.

Nope you're not the one in the wrong here.

I thought shr was going to complain about the dc being in nursery while he's off work but no how very dare you feed your hard working husband in his very important Job a chicken steak and potatoes bless his heart🙄 I mean of course she is being an arsehole!

Get off mumsnet and darn your husband’s socks.

I joke, of course. You are not the unreasonable one in this tale.

YANBU

your friend is a stuck-in-the-past throwback and not much of a mate if she is judging you for having a functional relationship with a fellow grownup rather than babying a man child. Your other friend is also odd, none of my mates would think like this.

great to hear about a couple splitting the load so fairly and respecting each other.

It won't stop her husband having another affair. That's what she's really worried about. She just wants you to be as anxious as she is.

If she thinks that organic food and a tidy house is enough to keep a man that doesn’t want to be kept then she’s even more delusional then I anticipated.

Ofc’ you’re not in the wrong. I am impressed at how helpful your husband is in sharing duties and it’s good you have that support

Tell her to find a proper man. Marriage means being A TEAM. This is how marriage should look like.

A was involved with a married man who left his wife for her, citing that his wife didn't make enough effort. She's paranoid AF that he'll leave if she isn't 100% perfect.

This is the key really isn’t it? She has to convince herself that she “won” her husband because his slovenly wife didn’t work hard enough to keep him, and not because her DH is a scummy cheater who can’t keep his dick in his pants, and has probably been shagging other women since the honeymoon.

She is upset that you are managing to “keep” your DH despite not killing yourself to keep him happy. You are shining a permanent light on what a shitbag her DH is.

Yeah stay away from her

It sounds to me like you need better friends.

Your friend is a toxic reincarnation of a 1950s housewife.

I wasn't working yesterday and my husband was working from home. We have no kids, but I'm pregnant and pretty fatigued at the moment. In between his day packed with meetings, my husband cleaned the entire kitchen, did the bins, tidied the living room, went shopping and cooked me dinner.

Your friend would probably keel over at the thought.

Your friend probably has a panic attack every time her husband leaves the house or lingers too long on his phone just in case somebody is going to make him "a better dinner" she is projecting it's quite sad really.

All of this.

I'd stay clear of these "friends". And for the record, the meal you made was perfectly good.

well done for standing you ground
people like this are normally jealous or have problems or something lacking in there life and pick fault at yours to make themselves feel better

top marks for tells her to fuck off btw

Your friend is married to a self centred cheat, whereas you seem to be married to someone who is a decent human being who knows marriage is a partnership. She’s fooling herself if she thinks a sparkling house and a meal from scratch will stop her other half from screwing someone else.

Perhaps you ought to tell her that this is what teamwork looks like, rather than defined responsibilities that usually end up in an adversarial mindset.

These friends sound insane. They must be projecting or something.

Shit. I had a day off yesterday. Me and toddler DS did some fun stuff. I did minimal housework/laundry and in the afternoon me and DS took a nap together.

DP worked all day. Came home and cooked us dinner (from scratch) then he did all the dishes (we have a dishwasher) and cleaned the kitchen.

Then he poured me a glass of wine.

I'm pretty sure he might leave me today.

You and your husband have got it right – good teamwork. As long as you are both happy with how things are working, ignore the idiots.

I'm amazed another friend agreed with her.

A's issue is clearly to do with her own husband and for some reason it hit a nerve. No idea what the other woman's deal is.

My husband would be delighted with that dinner

You so-called friend has learned from experience that when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy, and is projecting her own paranoia onto your perfectly normal, healthy, functional relationship.

Carry on exactly as you are and get rid of her. She is a toxic element that you don’t need in your life. Don’t let her influence how you see your own happy relationship.

Your friend is reaping what she has sown by getting involved with a married man. I hope she spends the rest of that relationship feeling utterly paranoid because she should. She's probably also extremely jealous that you and your husband have a supportive and more relaxed relationship, even if life is tiring! She's no friend. As you were OP.