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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Concern for 16 year old

3 replies

Whymemama · 06/10/2023 04:53

Not sure how to word or if im in the right place but what I need to know is how or if we need to log another concern for welfare or wellbeing for an older child not at school? There is a current welfare situation for younger children in the household that im aware of and seems to be being dealt with by the primary school and social services but my concern is with the older child who has left school and hasn’t been seen for some time, nor have the friends she used to have visit. The situation is that mum seems to be having substance abuse issues and has had involvement of police, social services, housing etc and school in relation to behaviour and her younger children, she seems to have deflected these people to keep them at bay concerning her behaviour and involvement with the man involved etc, but the situation has gotten worse as far as those of us around her can see and she is blatantly lying to the authorities etc. her younger children have missed a few days at school and had pastoral banging down her door in concern but with no joy on her answering! She has been seen looking terrible and carrying bags out of the house but with no children. I know the school etc are dealing with the welfare of the younger children but on speaking with other people in the road no one has seen the 16 year old girl or any of her friends for some time! Will the 16 year old who has left school be included in the welfare checks etc? Or should we raise a concern and if so who to? Is it normal for a once very social 16 year old girl to just disappear and not have friends visit etc? This is a tiny amount of what has been happening but I’m growing increasingly concerned this 16 year old has “fell of the radar” so to speak. I am not the person who has reported the welfare of the other children previously although I have called the police when necessary due to behaviour of the mother and because it is clear that she needs help but the violent reaction she was having at the time I called was due to her believing she had been reported to social services by those of us who have younger children in the same school as hers and we have since spoken to the school who said they were aware of the situation, but will the older child be included in these welfare checks etc with her being out of school age now? If not who needs to be informed? Do we need to alert anyone of this or trust that she will be included already in the ongoing welfare concern reports? Thank you for reading to the end and apologies for long post lack of grammar etc 🙈

OP posts:
Squirrelsonthescaffolding · 06/10/2023 05:42

16 year olds are now supposed to be In education or training if you are in England so there’s likely to be something wrong if she doesn’t appear to be going out regularly. I would report as she is still legally a child.

The terrible cases that have made the news have made me more likely to do this, all part of building up a picture and hopefully triggering support/safety for the family. It can be anonymous, if you want, I’d mention that other services seem to have been unable to gain a response
https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/child-neglect#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20concerns%20over,an%20emergency%2C%20always%20call%20999.
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/report/#

https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/child-neglect#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20concerns%20over,an%20emergency%2C%20always%20call%20999.

Hygeelady · 06/10/2023 06:15

Are you working in an organisation where you know about this or are you a neighbour?

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 06/10/2023 06:17

If you are genuinely concerned for the 16yo don’t assume she’s included in the checks and ask the police to do a welfare check.

16yos are meant to be in education or training but checks on it aren’t reliable in all areas so she could fall under the radar.

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