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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect looked after

27 replies

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 06/10/2023 03:38

I know I’m not BU but I’m awake at 3.25am feeling really ill with Covid I likely got from my husband. He went out with friends for a beer a few days ago in the nearest city(alcohol free because he was driving) so not a big bender or a late night but I’m still annoyed at him because he should have been more careful when he was out and when he came home. I have MS and bugs often hit me a bit harder and he’s usually over protective of me. When he got ill I thought he was taking the piss re distancing and proper hand hygiene. I kept reminding him and he kept getting annoyed at me “nagging.” Though he kind of loved that I really didn’t want him in the kitchen. I was pretty much his nursemaid. He really wasn’t well though, I’ve not seen him look as I’ll as this. (We’ve been together 30+ years.) He was coughing and sneezing and not covering his mouth. Hand washing was only a quick spray of alcohol.
He joked that I would wear myself out looking after him (I have a bad habit of that)and doing too much, get ill and then have no one to look after me the way I want. I want taken care of as well as I took care of him! But it’s not likely to happen.

Thanks if you got this far. I just needed to vent.

OP posts:
Dessertinthedesert · 07/10/2023 07:37

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 06/10/2023 22:52

@Dessertinthedesert he got ill 2 days after he’d been out. He works with vulnerable people so all the Covid stuff you all did during lockdown , he does pretty much every day anyway. It’s normal behaviour for us. I’m annoyed that he thought he was complacent when he was out and the coughing and sneezing without covering his mouth when he was ill and testing positive.

@SleepingisanArt in an ideal world isolating would be something we could do. Unfortunately due to my disability that wasn’t possible. I wasn’t fussing over him. I’d heat up some soup/meals for him when I was making some for myself then leave it in the kitchen for him to get.

@MatthewsMumFromTikTok damn right I am. I needed to vent. That’s allowed isn’t it?

@MyGooseisTotallyLoose I'm not annoyed about him going out at all. He had a couple of alcohol free beers and spent some time with old friends. I just expected him to be a bit more sensible than he was. When he knew he had Covid he was making a joke about passing it on to me and minimising my concern about him coughing a lung up and not covering his mouth when he was close to me.

My husband was EVC during lockdown we we were even more carefully than the average person. I really hope he isn’t living his life like the average person during covid. It’s fine to be annoyed that he isn’t covering his mouth when coughing and sneezing. But living with someone who is EVC I would expect him to confine himself to one room - was he unable to do? I imagine if he was caring for you or if you don’t have much space that would be difficult. When I had covid this summer DH slept in the livingroom and I stayed in the bedroom with my germs. He occasionally brought me a cup if tea but I was too ill to eat anyway so he didn’t bring me any food - he did offer. How much looking after did your DH need?

Original poster
JesusSufferingFuck22 · 07/10/2023 12:06

@MichelleScarn Im not sure what his “being complacent” meant either. That’s just what he said.
He had alcohol free beer a)because he was driving and b) he stopped drinking about 18 months ago.

@BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants Thank you!

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