Dh talks down to me

[hollywally34]

And it drives me insane.

He is quite a sarcastic person and has been known to rub people up the wrong way with his attitude. I knew this when I married him but I thought it was just a personality quirk rather than a red flag.

Overall we get on well but when we disagree he has a horrible habit of talking down to me. Using words like 'you're ranting' or acting as if I'm a nag, thick, just permanently incorrect. It never seems to occur to him that he could be at fault. And I get emotional/angry which of course feeds into his idea that I'm the one behaving irrationally.

It drives me mad. We had a row earlier and he said something like 'are you still talking?' to which I said he won't have to worry about me talking to him for much longer at this rate. I came to bed and am quietly seething but I have no intention of speaking to him again as he just can't grasp that he could possibly be wrong. I don't know how I ended up with someone so pig headed and arrogant. Day to day he's not like this but he can have this air of superiority about himself (even though I actually believe he's quite insecure in many ways).

The next step will either be initiating conversation again and glossing over it or stick to my guns and have a weekend of sulking and silence. Neither seems especially fun.

I sometimes wish I lived alone with my dc.

I sometimes wish I lived alone with my dc.

That's a goal to work towards.

Well, on the bright side you know what you want - to live alone with your children. As a PP says, you can work towards that.

It's not that simple. Finances. Young dc. I have no other support and couldn't manage without him.

He's not a complete arse it's just this element of his personality that I can't stand. I've tried explaining it to him nicely, I've shouted about it when I've lost my rag and now I just feel done with it. It's clearly who he is. He either genuinely believes he is superior or he is using this front to cover up some sort of insecurity, either way I'm fed up of being spoken to and wafted away like I'm a silly little girl.

He sounds like my ex husband. If we argued, things were never ever sorted and we spent many nights apart because he would never back down. I felt he spoke down to me and other people said the same. At the beginning of our marriage, I would get really upset and cry when we argued, but I soon became numb to it and stopped getting upset. Looking back I think he was quite controlling. He made me feel like you describe. I'm now in a relationship without conflict and it's just so amazing.

Could you try counselling to see if he could hear better from another person and if he knew you were even contemplating divorce he might ease up and cop on.