to be a bit miffed that when I asked close friends to dinner one of them immediately said....

[Scattybird]

No we can't possibly as X made dinner last night so we have dinner?

I am not lying, they really do and you are probably right LL. It's just that they do it alot with various invites and I thought that they were trying to tell me something, but they call every day, I can't explain it really. If I should be around when they want to come around it's all alright then.

Perhaps I should just accept that our friendship has run it's course and not bother anymore if it upsets me so much.

i wouldn't read too much into this, maybe they just want to veg out at home- watch telly etc. they are not rude, nor are you being petty.they declined that's all

maybe your a crap cook and she just didn't want to say it.

maybe the want to catch ashes to ashes don't get yer drawers in a twist about trivia

Nope thats definitely not it, I promise! Lol.

I would have done the same thing. DF and I only have dinner together 2 weekday nights, so buy all the veg, meat or whatnot when we do our shopping at the weekend. It's not exactly the same as having it all prepared, but i'd rather not go out, iykwim.

Scattybird we all have days you just cant be arsed and as nice as socialising is, slobbing out is fun tooIt was thoughtful to offer but don't read hidden significance into this- too Machiavellian by half

YABU I wouldn;t waste something I had cooked to go to dinner with someone who thought I had to agree to do what they wanted at the drop of a hat - childless or not I suppose they think their life doesn;t revolve around you!

I understand how this sounds. Without giving too much detail, we are all working long hours, I am on holiday this week and had discussed how we could meet up earlier in the week. I don't have time for socialising very much and before you ask, they know this. One of them had the day off as well etc. I really really am not just writing this as it sounds (which by reading it back must sound desperate). If it were as simple I wouldn't be asking, but then you all couldn't possibly know that. Thank you all for answering me, I realise this does sound trite.

I will write myself a post it sticker saying 'do not stress over trivia in future'.

Do you work in TV Scattybird?

My in-laws once cancelled an outing with us as they had already bought in season fresh white Aspargus which HAD to be cooked for lunch that day ... Cultural, generational thing?

My dh is REALLY anti social. He just likes being at home in the evening (especially when he is working in the week) he is not especially keen on going to peoples houses full stop. It is not a slight on the host he is just a miserable bugger could one of the friends just be a bit of a home bird/misery guts?

If we were meeting in a pub or restaurant he would be less miserable about it by the way.

I can see you might be offended at a refusal, but I think YABU to be upset on this occasion - you didn't give them any notice!

Next time say "I'd really like you to come over to dinner with us - what would be a good day for you" and see what is said. If they refuse then, then you have your answer.

If they work long hours then maybe tonight is the first night they could spend alone in a while. The fact they prepared a meal last night for tonight when they are childless suggests that they wanted a relaxing night together tonight. Maybe if you'd rang them earlier in the week to arrange it they would have come but asking on the same day is very short notice.

I reckon tonight is shagfest night and they were caught on the hop, so came up with a ridiculous excuse. Don't sweat over it.

If I was invited out for dinner I would go, even if I had dinner prepared at home, but we don't go out very often. I wouldn't be offended if a friend used this as an excuse, maybe the were planning a quiet night in.

Scattybird - I'd like you as a friend! We are friends with a couple without children yet and we often invite each other at short notice.

My brother & SIL always ask us to dinner on the day. They live an hour & half away so I'd appreciate a little bit of advance warning.

We have said no three times now as we just wouldn't have time to get the kids homework done & get ready to be there in time.

SIL was huffy the last time until I explained that it took us 90 mins getting there & the same again home... three hours alredy out of an evening & they were always week nights! I told her if she asked on a weekend we would love to go! So she asked us up for dinner at 7.30 on a Sunday night..... still the same problem, say an hour for dinner to be eaten etc & then we can't just run off... then it still takes us 90 mins to get home & the kids have school/playgroup next morning....

I think your friends maybe just wanted a night in cuddling in front of the telly

Actually, do they ever invite you to their house for dinner?

well IMO is a crap excuse because if the meal is already frozen you can eat it within 3 months, innit?

We sometimes invite our best friends over if we've taken too much food out and need extra mouths eating it. If they're not available, fine, it can go in the pot for the following day. I think it's nice to do that, not make too big a fuss about it (neither about invitations nor refusals).

I think you are being unreasonable. Maybe they have planned what they are having and they want to have dinner at home as they planned. Why are you so miffed. Ask them another night, give them more notice....