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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find social work easy?

60 replies

hereforthecakeandwine · 05/10/2023 20:50

Will try and summarise for length sake -

Qualified 8 years ago in social work.

Have a job in adult mental health.

All through my degree people would try and warn me off of social work, too many caseloads, high burn out, too much responsibility.

I remember as a student on placement finding social work so enjoyable and also very 'easy' for lack of a better word. Not what I was expecting at all. However, I assumed that was because I was a student with a low case load and also protected.

However, 8 years in my job and I still find social work to be a fairly easy job. I love interaction with the clients and equally enjoy the paperwork/meeting side of things.

I have 33 cases at the moment and do duty once a week and am able to keep on top of it all. If not it just gets prioritised and pushed to tomorrow. I can only do what I can do. I find my job really enjoyable and low stress. However, I do find I am very organised and manage my time well. I don't do overtime or think about work outwith working hours. I see some colleagues really stressed and I sometimes question, am I doing something wrong? Am I not giving it my all if I'm finding it (and have done since being a student) so easy?

Anyone else think that they really scare people off of social work and perhaps the reality isn't as bad as they make out?

OP posts:
pinkunicorns54 · 05/10/2023 20:56

I don't want this to turn into a 'children's vs adults'
But you might not find it as easy in a frontline childrens team.

Having said that, I've always been one for keeping my boundaries - so always finishing on time and no weekend work for example!

Original poster
hereforthecakeandwine · 05/10/2023 20:58

pinkunicorns54 · 05/10/2023 20:56

I don't want this to turn into a 'children's vs adults'
But you might not find it as easy in a frontline childrens team.

Having said that, I've always been one for keeping my boundaries - so always finishing on time and no weekend work for example!

I should have added this to my post. I am very, very fortunate with having a good team and great team leader. I know that makes a difference. I could NEVER imagine having the responsibility of a children and families social worker so I really take my hat off to them and realise it would be a completely different experience for me there, you're correct.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 05/10/2023 21:01

I trained as a social worker and went into children and families and then into child protection. It was horrific and although I was very proud of the work we did it broke me and I ended up taking early retirement. I wish I had gone into family placement as I know I would have done it really well but hindsight and all that.

Original poster
hereforthecakeandwine · 05/10/2023 21:04

ApolloandDaphne · 05/10/2023 21:01

I trained as a social worker and went into children and families and then into child protection. It was horrific and although I was very proud of the work we did it broke me and I ended up taking early retirement. I wish I had gone into family placement as I know I would have done it really well but hindsight and all that.

Out of interest, what made it so horrific? The caseload? The things you heard and seen? The responsibility? What exactly was the biggest challenge?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 05/10/2023 21:06

I was going to say about children's SW - glad you accept that it's different. It's good that you enjoy what you do and you have worked in it for 8 years - keep it up!

I work along side children's and families teams - we as haemorrhaging SW's it's so stressful right now. I love what I do but it's very pressured and I'm torn a millionty ways every day - plus I HATE admin - I'm guessing that's where you are killing it!

ApolloandDaphne · 05/10/2023 21:10

@hereforthecakeandwine Many things. The case load was fine but listening day in and day out to children who had been abused was difficult. The worst thing however were the children who died at the hands of those parents and being vilified for not having a crystal ball and anticipating what they might do. That was the last straw. We had 3 children who died in quick succession and dealing with this broke me.

Original poster
hereforthecakeandwine · 05/10/2023 21:13

ApolloandDaphne · 05/10/2023 21:10

@hereforthecakeandwine Many things. The case load was fine but listening day in and day out to children who had been abused was difficult. The worst thing however were the children who died at the hands of those parents and being vilified for not having a crystal ball and anticipating what they might do. That was the last straw. We had 3 children who died in quick succession and dealing with this broke me.

Oh god, I honestly couldn't imagine. That must have been so tough! 😢 I guess hearing that, I have a cheek to say social work is easy.

OP posts:
RowcheRascal · 05/10/2023 21:15

Good for you. Was 17 years Children and Families CP social worker. It nearly ended me.
I have just returned to part time care work after becoming seriously ill. I did my best. No social work is NOT easy.

cheerypip · 05/10/2023 21:16

Hi OP, are you working in the community or as part of an inpatient team? I would be interested in what kinds of things an adult mental health social worker gets involved with?

Khvdrt · 05/10/2023 21:17

What makes it very difficult is seeing children and adults in pain and being so restricted on what you can do. I’ve managed nearly 10 years in children’s but sometimes the sadness is a lot and I’m fortunate to have developed coping skills but still it isn’t always enough.
I’d be interested to know how you feel after knowing someone’s traumatic or abusive history and how you feel coming out of difficult visits? Or when people are in pain and you can’t help? Do you not feel frustrated at the lack of mental health support? I don’t really understand why it doesn’t bother you

donquixotedelamancha · 05/10/2023 21:17

I have just started at a lovely school which is fairly low stress. That doesn't mean I don't know that I'm incredibly lucky and much of the sector is in crisis.

It suggests you are quite low on awareness of the world if you think everyone else is complaining about nothing or just worse at their job than you.

MrInbetween · 05/10/2023 21:21

@hereforthecakeandwine I’m really glad to read this, we desperately need well qualified, experienced and motivated social workers. So it’s great that you love your job.

However, your experience is your experience. And I’ve yet to meet a child protection social worker who isn’t extremely stressed. I did it for 7 years and it broke me. I seriously believe I came out of it with PTSD symptoms. I’m now working with children and families but in a different area.

In CP work you have:

  • unmanageable case load
  • distressing situations
  • angry aggressive clients
  • sad and anxious clients
  • your working hours can be utterly crazy - 70hours a week
  • making complex and life altering decisions
  • The constant fear that a child will die on your case load.
ApolloandDaphne · 05/10/2023 21:22

I also had the added difficulty of my own child having been killed some years earlier. I really wasn't equipped to deal with the death of other people's children. I felt
I had really failed them. I've had to do a lot of soul searching subsequently.

Original poster
hereforthecakeandwine · 05/10/2023 21:23

Khvdrt · 05/10/2023 21:17

What makes it very difficult is seeing children and adults in pain and being so restricted on what you can do. I’ve managed nearly 10 years in children’s but sometimes the sadness is a lot and I’m fortunate to have developed coping skills but still it isn’t always enough.
I’d be interested to know how you feel after knowing someone’s traumatic or abusive history and how you feel coming out of difficult visits? Or when people are in pain and you can’t help? Do you not feel frustrated at the lack of mental health support? I don’t really understand why it doesn’t bother you

I hear plenty about people's traumatic pasts, I guess I feel empathy for them and sad that they have experienced what they have, however, I don't continue to think about it any longer than I need to. Growing up, my dad would always speak openly about the sexual abuse he went through and so I'm not sure if that had an impact on me not finding things too shocking.

I guess the best way to describe it is that I have a wall up all around me - I know bad things happen. I know people go through awful experiences but I don't feel much. I will bend over backwards and am able to build really trusting and solid relationships with most of my clients.

Do I feel frustrated re mental health support? No I don't think so. Many of my clients are subject to CTO's and there is plenty support available to them if they choose to engage.

OP posts:
MetaverseMavis · 05/10/2023 21:24

Recently-ishI finished my degree in SW. By Y3 when pathways were chosen, all the lazy learners, you know, those with poor attendance, least likely to engage in class discussions and getting low mark passes etc were choosing Adults.

Adult Pathway was known as the 'easy' option, with less law to learn, and families happy to see you because they want your help.

Original poster
hereforthecakeandwine · 05/10/2023 21:25

ApolloandDaphne · 05/10/2023 21:22

I also had the added difficulty of my own child having been killed some years earlier. I really wasn't equipped to deal with the death of other people's children. I felt
I had really failed them. I've had to do a lot of soul searching subsequently.

I am so sorry, that is horrendous. Honestly, I am in awe that you continued to help people after going through such a gut wrenching experience. I'm so sorry.

OP posts:
Zola1 · 05/10/2023 21:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Zola1 · 05/10/2023 21:36

MetaverseMavis · 05/10/2023 21:24

Recently-ishI finished my degree in SW. By Y3 when pathways were chosen, all the lazy learners, you know, those with poor attendance, least likely to engage in class discussions and getting low mark passes etc were choosing Adults.

Adult Pathway was known as the 'easy' option, with less law to learn, and families happy to see you because they want your help.

It's not ever us v them... adults isn't an easy option and plenty of workers cross back and forth. Please try not to 'other' our fellow SWs. I've some lovely EDT colleagues who work with adults and are super committed and talented. It's just different..mainly because of the capacity stuff I think.

MrInbetween · 05/10/2023 21:37

@Zola1 I agree the paper work is not hard as such. But it’s the decision making that is hard.

So many horrible memories. Poor kids.

MetaverseMavis · 05/10/2023 21:40

@zola1 Not othering, just observing and reporting what I saw in my cohort, but thanks for your opinion

Coffeaddict · 05/10/2023 21:44

I think as highlighted the term social worker is far broader then people may realise. I know 2 people who are social workers. The first is my cousin in her late 20s. She works with the homeless in hostels while trying to rehouse ( ireland so not sure if same system here). Her job sounds tough at times but generally the families she is working with are trying their best but just really struggling in the housing crisis. They appreciated the help so generally have good relationships with the social workers.

The second was a neighbour who worked with children in need in the community. He got drunk one time and told us some horror stories but they are sworn to secrecy. I couldn't imagine dealing with the heartbreak he must have seen while simultaneously being told to fuck off by the people you are trying to help

Hooplahooping · 05/10/2023 21:46

I also found this about teaching. It’s really easy to work yourself up into a froth of rage put-upon stress. But you can do that in any job. Good time management, being relatively organised + having some healthy boundaries mean that I mostly really enjoyed my teaching jobs. You’re never far from a couple of weeks off in a school!

there are undoubtedly some awful work environments / cultures that people can’t thrive in whatever they do. But I do think that a lot of people in public service roles don’t need to feel as beleaguered as they let themselves feel…

MrInbetween · 05/10/2023 21:50

@Hooplahooping bit i think the difference in doing something like CP work is that you’ve got the mixture of the high level of work (which is fine and as you say manageable) with the trauma of others and the real threat that one of the children you’re supposed to be caring for is seriously hurt.

It’s not simply about work load.

MrInbetween · 05/10/2023 21:51

I would say the same can be said for adult mental health work.

Hooplahooping · 05/10/2023 21:56

MrInbetween · 05/10/2023 21:50

@Hooplahooping bit i think the difference in doing something like CP work is that you’ve got the mixture of the high level of work (which is fine and as you say manageable) with the trauma of others and the real threat that one of the children you’re supposed to be caring for is seriously hurt.

It’s not simply about work load.

Oh I really didn’t mean to downplay the unique stresses of CP work - I can’t imagine having to prioritise when you are juggling multiple safety issues.

I suppose I do wonder though that, if there was more positivity about managing work / life around these intense roles, then there might be more people willing to step in to them. And more teachers in ‘rough’ schools and more social workers in general seems like a good thing… some of the narrative around the jobs must put people off